In happier news, the Bulls swapped Eddy Curry and Antonio Davis to the Knicks for Michael Sweetney, Tim Thomas, Jermaine Jackson (and no I didn’t make that up), a #1 draft pick, and the opportunity to swap #1 picks next year. Wow, Isiah has outdone himself again. I would go on a long diatribe about how Isiah has handcuffed the Knicks team even more, how a healthy Curry is still less motivated than any of the snotty rich kids on MTV’s My Super Sweet 16, or how Curry hits the boards like a rebound will give him a venereal disease, but instead, John Hollinger of ESPN.com has done it for me (As an aside, where did Hollinger come from? I’ve been enjoying his work over the past few months, much more than the moronic, out of touch, and just downright senile Jack Ramsey that ESPN usually runs out there). I just love this trade, kind of like the Marbury deal in that you think the Knicks got the better end of it due to player recognition, but in the end, Isiah is just getting abused, and that is even if Curry stays healthy. Imagine the backlash in New York if Curry’s heart becomes more of a problem.

But hey, NBA training camps opened this week so the betting season is near. I am getting excited, not as excited as I was to meet Ron Jeremy in person, but more excited than when I found out that there was a player in NFL training camps named Craphonso Thorpe, so that’s something.

Now on to the questions:

A friend of mine recently lost a Fantasy Football game by under a point. This loss was certainly caused by the lack of efficacy on the part of Jake Delhomme. What should my friend do???

Zorro

You know, it is about the time of the season where I get bombarded with fantasy football questions like “Should I start Culpepper?,” “Is Fred Taylor going to pick up his game?,” “Is it wrong to masturbate to Ladanian’s four touchdown game?” (the answers of course are; yes, don’t know, and no, as long as you don’t tell anyone and it is the touchdowns you are masturbating to and not Ladanian). While I am no NFL fantasy football expert, I do know three things: Never ever ever start Michael Vick, don’t take receivers on a team run by anyone named Joey, and defense not only wins games, it wins championships so remember to put your safeties in the right pass coverage.

Anyway, if your buddy is relying on Jake Delhomme, that can’t be a good thing, and not just because he speaks Creole to players that speak ebonics, but because he is a really bad quarterback. Your buddy should probably start Steve McNair or some other washed up has been over Delhomme (interesting point, Del comes from the creole “Loves” and homme is French for “man,” and I am mostly not making that up).

Speaking of football, did anyone catch this story: Super Bowl legend Timmy Smith was caught selling cocaine, what they don’t tell you is that he was caught selling it to Ickey Woods (drum shot please).

Who is first NFL player to sign a one day contract with former team after retiring? and did he make it to the hall of fame?

Michael Evans JR

Wow, that is a fantastic question to which I may have to take a knee (one knee, not two, so don’t get any queer ideas). Anyway, I have done extensive research on this topic including web searches, calling NFL GMs (and by calling I mean the exact opposite), and masturbating to lesbian porn (and I know that has nothing to with this, but the question was stressing me out so I had to relax). As far as I can tell, over the last few years these seven players have all signed one day contracts to retire with their original teams Tim Brown, Otis Smith, Brian Mitchell, Derrick Alexander, Emmitt Smith, Thurman Thomas, Andre Reed. The first would have been the great Thurman Thomas who is a hall of famer.

With free agency a fairly recent phenomenon (kind of like google, iPods, and the filthy Ronald), there really weren’t many other players to whom this would apply. Namath, Unitas, Montana, and Bosworth are the most prominent players to end their careers with the teams that didn’t make them famous but none of them signed one day contracts later to retire with that team. So I guess the answer is Thurman Thomas, which interestingly enough is the first time he’s been the answer to any question not involving losing a helmet.

Kelvin Anderson was released from the BC Lions (Canadian Football League) in 2004. Do you know where he went from there?

Janice Rathgeber

Great question as we all know Kelvin from his great XFL career where he led the San Francisco Demons (my home town team at the time) in rushing. What a glorious league that was, a league where Jiggy and I imbibed about a ton of alcohol at a Demons-Outlaws game which ended by me being not so nicely asked to leave a bar a few hours after the game ended. Of course, those from up Norf probably remember Kelvin as one of the CFL’s all-time great running backs and 1996 rookie of the year, which is similar to being the normal one in the Jackson 5.

However, there are only 3 reasons I can think that you are looking for Kelvin and all of them have to do with you being his baby’s mamma so I am not sure I can help you as I don’t like to rat out my boys. Anyway, I am not saying I know where he is, but according to this site/message board (and you’ll have to scroll down) he resides in Howardville, Missouri so maybe you want to check there for that fat child support/alimony check, just give your boy AC a cut when you find him, eh?

Also, if you really want to find him, sending Wagercom.com a naked picture of you making out with one of girlfriends is certainly a way for you to have us further investigate.

Until next time, AC

PS Visit AC's NBA Basketball Picks Page new content coming in November.

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