ASK AC - YOUR QUESTIONS GET ANSWERED

08/15/04 YOUR SPORTS QUESTIONS ANSWERED


With the NBA season over, Wagercom.com will be starting a new feature with NBA guru AC Titticock. AC will be answering reader e-mail every week or two, so keep e-mailing him with questions, ideas, and/or naked photos of your sisters. Questions can be about the NBA, Major League Baseball, Fantasy sports, or the great Taylor Rain-Janine Lindemuller debate. Just send your questions to ac@wagercom.com

AC, where’ve you been? I need the sccop on USA basketball. I see you didn’t like them going into the games but now that they have played a few exhibitions what do you think?

S Friedman, Parts Unknown

Glad you noticed that I’ve been away and in the lovely Bahamas for over a week, but now I’m home. While there, I was lucky enough to get an ear infection as well as an undiagnosed venereal disease from watching Showgirls late night on HBO (that can happen, right?).

Before I answer your question, let me give one piece of advice should one of my readers ever visit the Bahamas. Bring matches, and lots of them. Why? Because whatever they put in the food down there not only gives you gas that lasts all day and all night but it makes your shit stink like your schlong would if you had just anally violated a skunk, and not any skunk, but a homeless one that had just downed a 3 week old beef burrito (and it’s not quite clear what that means). Seriously, not only did I “squeeze cheese” for 8 consecutive days but it wreaked. My shit smelled so bad I could barely sit on the pot to finish, unreal, but I must digress.

As for USA baskertball, it is exactly like I said in my last Q&A column, they are terrible as they have no shooters and no point guards. Seriously, couldn’t they dust off Dale Ellis or Craig Hodges or even the greatest HORSE player of all-time Michael “Kevin Willis Arms” Smith (http://www.basketball-reference.com/players/s/smithmi01.html). I watched the first half of the Italy game, the end of the Germany game, and most of the first Turkey game and was so unimpressed. LeBron was bringing nothing, Melo looked good, and nobody else really stuck out. They did well when somebody drove the lane, drew the baseline defenders, and then dropped the ball low to Boozer for dunks. I really don’t get it, how can these guys not shoot? And how are Shawn Marion and the Human Turnover Richard Jefferson on this team? Really, who is out there saying “we have to get Marion?”

For 2008 I would really like to see USA Basketball either go back to college players or use the AND1 Streetballers. Seriously, that would be fantastic. As long as we are going to lose, why not watch Hot Sauce bounce the ball off some poor Italian defender’s head or the Professor go yard on a Turkish guard, and yes I watch way too much ESPN2.

Also, I’d love to see how some of these national teams would perform in the NBA. Take Argentina who has basically zero NBA players yet is one of the favorites. How many games do you think they would win in the league? I think the team that wins the Olympics should be placed in Charlotte as the expansion team and let them take it to the league. That would be great to watch.

Payton to the Celtics, hahaha. Your boys got screwed. The Glove is done.

Ari Apirian, Saskatchewan

This was a very odd move. Ainge tinkering again but after calming down, I think it is a good trade with a potential to be a great one. Basically, the Celtics gave up nothing for a gamble on Payton and some financial flexibility.

For this to be a bad trade for the Celtics, you have to believe that Gary Payton either doesn’t play or plays so poorly you wish he hadn’t (and this may be the case, in fact my take on Payton during the playoffs wasn’t so positive, even comparing him to the immortal Joey Randa, yikes http://www.wagercom.com/free-nba-basketball-picks-playoffs-8.html).

You also have to believe that Marcus Banks will become a player and will be better than whoever the Celtics take with the first round pick they got from the Lakers. From day one I have been saying how Banks is a mistake and is just terrible. I wanted Ainge to keep Troy Bell instead of swapping him for Banks. Marcus is a point guard who can not pass which is the key skill for his position (and he can’t shoot or dribble either). Ainge drafted him because he is fast and can play some defense, but if speed were the only criteria for being an effective NBA point guard then Ainge should have drafted Carl Lewis. Seriously, does anybody think Banks has the tools to succeed in the NBA? There is a 2% chance he is a taller Earl Boykins, a 70% chance he is a faster worse passing Kelvin Upshaw (http://www.basketball-reference.com/players/u/upshake01.html), and a 28% chance he is in the CBA next year. Also, for this to be a bad trade you have to believe that Chris Mihm is going to be useful. I like Mihm, I think he has a lot of talent but he seems to lack the ability to put it all together. I don’t know if it is an intensity issue or a lack of basketball IQ but he just doesn’t seem to get it. Best case scenario, Mihm averages 10 points and 7 rebounds, worst case he stays as he is with a 50-50 chance either way.

For this to be a good trade for the Celtics, you have to believe that the player the Celtics select with the Lakers first round pick will be worse than Marcus Banks and using my analysis from above that is highly unlikely. Also, you would have to believe that Gary Payton does not report or adds negative value to the team and the Celtics do not take advantage of the money they have freed up for later years in the free agent market. Now which of these scenarios is more likely? I’d give option 2 an 80% chance.

Here is why I like the trade. I think the Glove will be at least as good as Kenny Anderson was for the C’s 3 years ago. The Celtics don’t need Payton to be an all-star, they just need him to distribute the ball, run the offense, and tutor their PG of the future Delonte West. Also, Pierce is tight with Payton so this may help his game as well. While I think Ainge is an idiot for drafting Banks, I like the fact that he quickly realized his mistake and basically got equal value in the form of a similar draft pick. Ainge got good talent in this years’ draft so hopefully he doesn’t make the Banks mistake again. The only downside with this trade is if Banks becomes an all-star and there is more chance of me successfully using Ito’s Lemma (http://www2.sjsu.edu/faculty/watkins/ito.htm) in my upcoming job than that.

Oh yeah, the number one reason I like this trade is that Stephen A Smith thinks it is terrible for the Celtics and as we all know Stephen A Smith is an idiot.

I just finished writing this response and now the Celtics have swapped Marcus Banks for Jumaine Jones and retained their second round draft pick as Gary Payton is basically refusing to report. Believe it or not, this makes the trade better. Even if Payton does not report, the Celtics will still get a first round pick for Jumaine Jones (of the 2 ppg Jones’) and Chris Mihm plus salary cap space from Rick Fox and the rights to Payton which they will package for better players. While they are stuck back with Banks for awhile, it won’t last for long.

I have been trying to find someone who could answer this (I don't know). What city/area has won the most sporting event in the same year? example: bulls, cubs , bears all win respective titles in the same year. I would include college sports.

Josh Brown

Josh, you came to the right person for the question. I used my expert analytic skills and built a small Access Database to chronicle wins by a city and looked at several different geographical permutations (for example, do you count LA and SF as California or do you look at each separately?). I summarized all of this in a picture/chart for you to easily view, though you may need to scroll down a bit. http://www.sternfannetwork.com/forum/showthread/t-13044.html

Let me know if I can provide more help.

Until Next time, AC.

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