To prove someone wrong i need you to answer these question for me. About how much money does it cost to light up an NBA arena? About how much money is the electricity bill a year for a NBA team? It would be great if you could answer these 4 me. Thank you!

-Annie

Annie,

You have asked one of the more difficult questions I have ever received, a bit harder than “Who is the all-time MLB strikeout leader” and “will you pee on me?” However, I have an answer.

According to this article Pepco is charging $6.9MM to provide electricity to the Meadowlands, Giants Stadium, and 3 other facilities. So, if you play the consulting game and estimate Giants stadium and the Meadowlands to be 80% of the cost, then you have $5.52MM. Then, if you assume the Meadowlands is used 250 times a year and Giants stadium only 100 and say it takes 75% more power to light Giants stadium, then you have 59% of the cost going to the Meadowlands and 41% to Giants Stadium or ~$3.24MM to the Meadowlands for 250 nights. The Nets play 41 home games so they would take $530k of the total cost or ~$13k per game.

If you want a more precise answer, I am happy to dig it up but I will need a photo of you and one of your hot girlfriends topless, and making out as nothing is free in life, except those damn Metro papers the homeless dudes hand to you on the subway.

Alternatively, I can assure you that you, me, and one of your hot lady friends could provide enough electricity to light up several NBA arenas for days, but I don’t think that is the answer for which you are looking.

Hope that helps,

AC Titticock IIIi Esquire

Hi AC,

My name is Jen, and I have a question for you. When was the last time the Arizona Cardinals had a better regular season record than the Dallas Cowboys? It's a dumb question I know, but I don't know where else to get the answer.

Thanks,

Jen

Jen,

You are correct, it is a dumb question, but not as dumb as “do birds fly?,” “do bears shit in the woods?,” and “will you send me a picture of your tits?,” (no really, will you?).

I am glad you have come to me during your time of need, like the great Oracle at Delphi , I bring answers to those who seek the truth and a video camera to eager young lesbians.

Anyway, in 2001 the Arizona Cardinals went 7-9 while the Quincy Carter led Cowboys went 5-11. The teams had the same record in 2002 (5-11) and 2004 (6-10).

Now about those boob shots?

Toodles,

AC Titticock IIIi Esquire

AC I have a few questions.

1. When a player hits into a ground ball double play and a run scores, he does not get the RBI. Why is that, especially if that run proves to be or is the winning run?

2. What if the runner scores from third on a tag up but the runner on second is thrown out at third? Does the batter get the RBI? If so, why in that case and not in the case of a ground ball?

3. Here is a wild scenario: bases loaded, no outs. The runner on second is so fast that he scores on a 6-4-3 double play. So 2 runs scored yet there is a DP. Does the batter get no RBI's in that case?

4. Why is a batter charged with a time at bat when he reaches on an error? True he would have been out if the fielder made the play but isn't a walk or a hit-by-pitch a mistake or an "error" by the pitcher, yet the hitter isn't charged with an AB. Why should the batter be penalized if no out was recorded. And isn't catchers interference an error on the catcher yet no AB is charge?

Thanks

tmaiale

Bacon boy (as if you didn't know Maiale was Italian for pig, must have been a rough childhood, but bacon is sooooo good),

Thanks for the question, it seems like you may be the only person in the world with more free time and less of a life than me. May I suggest a nice download of lesbian porn instead of the obscure baseball scoring questions? www.Welivetogether.com is just dreamy.

Anyway, here are my answers with the official rulings below:

1. As far as I can tell there is no rbi because the fielder has the opportunity of throwing the runner out but instead chooses to get two outs.

Additionally the batter is a douchebag for causing his team two outs so should never be rewarded for that (this isn't technically in the rules but it is one of those unwritten rules announcers talk about).

2. The batter gets the rbi unless the out at third is the third out of the inning and the runner is tagged out before the run scores. It is different from the GIDP because it is not a fielder's choice, the assumption is that the runner tagging from third could not have been thrown out at home and thus the batter earned the run batted in.

3. The batter gets no rbi. The runner manufactured the run. And usually when I hear "wild scenario" I think me and two hot chicks wrestling in jello, but hey, potato-potahto.

4. The batter gets an AB for an error because he should have been out, he got a fair chance to hit the ball. With a walk or HBP, technically the batter did not have a fair chance to hit and thus does not receive an ab.

Here is the actual official scoring rules and the RBI definition:

http://www.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/mlb/official_info/official_rules/official_scorer_10.jsp

RUNS BATTED IN

10.04

(a) Credit the batter with a run batted in for every run which reaches

home base because of the batter's safe hit, sacrifice bunt, sacrifice

fly, infield out or fielder's choice; or which is forced over the plate

by reason of the batter becoming a runner with the bases full (on a base

on balls, or an award of first base for being touched by a pitched ball,

or for interference or obstruction). (1) Credit a run batted in for the

run scored by the batter who hits a home run. Credit a run batted in for

each runner who is on base when the home run is hit and who scores ahead

of the batter who hits the home run. (2) Credit a run batted in for the

run scored when, before two are out, an error is made on a play on which

a runner from third base ordinarily would score. (b) Do not credit a run

batted in when the batter grounds into a force double play or a reverse

force double play. (c) Do not credit a run batted in when a fielder is

charged with an error because he muffs a throw at first base which would

have completed a force double play. (d) Scorer's judgment must determine

whether a run batted in shall be credited for a run which scores when a

fielder holds the ball, or throws to a wrong base. Ordinarily, if the

runner keeps going, credit a run batted in; if the runner stops and

takes off again when he notices the misplay, credit the run as scored on

a fielder's choice.

Oink Oink,

AC Titticock IIIi Esquire

Until Next Time, AC.

PS Visit AC's NBA Basketball Picks Page new content coming in November.

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