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ASK AC - YOUR QUESTIONS GET ANSWERED
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Wagercom.com 's NBA guru AC Titticock. AC will be answering reader e-mail every week or two, so keep e-mailing him with questions, ideas, and/or naked photos of your sisters. Questions can be about the NBA, Major League Baseball, Fantasy sports, or the great Taylor Rain-Janine Lindemuller debate. Just send your questions to ac@wagercom.com
What a week it just was. Maurice Clarett got pulled over with a half bottle of vodka and loaded guns all while wearing a bullet proof vest (this is a fantastic article http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/columns/story?id=2545078 which talks about Maurice hanging out with rappers and drinking his “goose,” just phenomenal), Eddie Johnson was arrested for sexual assault but not that Eddie Johnson, and now Joe Dumars has picked Isiah Thomas to induct him into the Hall of Fame. First of all, Joe Dumars is going in the Hall of Fame? Really? Did I miss the memo on this one? Is Dan Majerle next? Secondly, with Isiah’s success off the court, I would not let him within 500 miles of the Basketball Hall of Fame. I mean what are the odds that he trades the Basketball Hall of Fame for the Bowling Hall of Fame and then signs Peter Webber to a 3 year $100MM contract? Isiah is a disaster waiting to happen, like hiring TO to be in charge of public relations or Pete Rose to do your taxes.
Yoyo AC, when should I take Reggie Bush in my fantasy draft?
The Gerber
Washington, DC
Great question because I love bush, and Reggie’s not bad either (drum shot please). Reggie Bush is a once in a lifetime ath-a-lete, like Michael Jordan, Wilt Chamberlain, and Taylor Rain. He has the ability to be great, and yet I fear he may have a short career due to injury. To compare him to the greatest American writers of the 20th century, I would say his career has one of two trajectories. He will either have one great year and then get hurt, like Frederick Exley who wrote one great book (A Fan’s Notes which is one of the top 3 American novels ever written and makes Kerouac look like Jane Austen, and I mean that as an insult) and then drank himself to death, or he will be able to stay healthy and produce on a consistent basis like the great Charles Bukowski who wrote many fantastic books (Ham on Rye, Post Office, and Tales of Ordinary Madness) and still drank and drank and drank? I think he’ll be one of the all-time greats but then again I liked Ryan Leaf over Gayton Manning, so what do I know?
In short, take Bush early and take Bush often. If you have a keeper league, draft Bush in the second round if he is there, and if not, point and laugh at the dingbat who overdrafted him. If you are not in a keeper league, take Bush somewhere between Larry Johnson and Mosi Tatupu.
Is Roger Clemens the fattest baseball player ever? He looks huge?
Enos C
Houston, TX
Interesting observation. I would agree that along with being a jerk, Clemens is a fat piece of crap. According to ESPN Fat Roger is a robust 235, but I bet that is after he has rocked a serious deuce. However, according to this site, a guy named Jumbo Brown was the fattest player of all-time weighing in at a Roseanne Barr-esque 295 pounds. If I would have guessed, I would have said John Kruk, the later years Tony Gwynn, Charlie Kerfeld, or the great Floyd “Honey Bear” Rayford would have been the fattest but apparently Jumbo could out eat them all.
AC, I love your stuff. I’ve won a ton of cash on your NBA picks so much love. Do you think the Detroit Tigers can win the World Series?
B Ritchie
Detroit, MI
Glad you enjoy the writing and glad you could win some money off of my humble picks. We here at www.Wagercom.com are here for all of your betting (and porn) needs so keep checking us out now that Jiggy is back for the NFL and rumor has it that even DJ may be back for college football (just don’t ask him to travel).
Anyway, as to your question, I don’t think the Tigers have a chance. That is unless Todd Jones turns into Mariano Rivera, Justin Verlander can finish strong, and Pudge Rodriguez can step up his game like he did with the Marlins several years ago. It is very hard to win a World Series without a top notch closer and the only times “Todd Jones” and “top notch closer” appear in the same sentence is when people say “Todd Jones is no top notch closer.” He sucks donkey dick like it is something desirable.
Additionally, the Tigers need a guy who can be a true #1 starter and while Verlander has been unbelievable, he has never thrown this many pitches so will likely break down. That’s not to say he will, but statistics show that pitchers who throw 30% more innings than they previously have tend to struggle (statistics also show that 75% of girls have had anal and don’t admit it, but lets keep that between us).
Finally, the Tiger’s line-up is good, but not great. Craig Monroe, Dimitri Young, and Magglio Ordonez are certainly not Ruth, Gehrig, and Tony Lazzeri, and I would argue they are not even Moe, Larry, and Curly, much less Shemp or Curly Joe. In other words, short the Tigers if you can. I fear it is still the White Sox’s to lose but look out for the streaking As.
God Bless,
AC Titticock IIIi Esquire
PS Visit AC's NBA Basketball Picks Page new content coming in November.
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