Before I get to the questions, I wanted to let you know that I have come close to solving one of life’s three greatest problems. From the beginning of time scholars, philosophers, and men of action have tried to solve three issues essential to human existence; world peace, inequities of capital distribution, and the lack of a money shot in lesbian porn. I just want to let you all know that I have come up with a very close solution to the last problem while I continue to work on the first two (and by “continue to work” I mean “drink” and by “the first two” I mean “heavily”).

I was recently made aware of a fantastic site called www.youporn.com which is like youtube, only with user submitted porn that is free for all to view. It marks the greatest achievement in the history of the internet (right up there with www.hotornot.com, www.pimpwar.com, www.wagercom.com, and this, or this) and I believe marks the day where the web has finally reached it’s pinnacle and realized it’s full potential. Our little baby internet is now all grow’d up.

Anyway, if you open up two browsers to www.youporn.com, set one to a lesbian video and one to a money shot video and then toggle back and forth as quickly as possible, you can get very close to getting the money shot into lesbian porn (which is a bit like Zeno’s dichotomy paradox, but work with me here). Finding this was truly a great day for mankind, and with that said, on to your questions.

AC,

Eighth Inning

Batter 1 hit by pitch.

Batter 2 grounds into a force out, first baseman to shortstop. Batter 1 out at 2nd. Batter 2 to 1st.

Batter 3 doubles on a line drive to left fielder. Batter 2 to 3rd.

Pitcher Change: Pitcher 3 replaces Pitcher 2.

Pitcher 3 intentionally walks batter 4.

Batter 5 grounds into a force out, first baseman to catcher. Batter 2 out at home. Batter 3 to 3rd.

Batter 4 2nd. Batter 5 to 1st.

Batter 6 hit by pitch. Batter 3 scores. Batter 4 to 3rd. Batter 5 to 2nd.

Batter 7. Batter 4 scores. Batter 5 to 3rd. Batter 6 to 2nd.

With Batter 8 batting, wild pitch by pitcher 3, Batter 5 scores. Batter 6 to 3rd. Batter 7 to 2nd.

Batter 8 pops out to pitcher 3.

Pitcher 2 charged with 2 runs or 1 run

Pitcher 3 charged with 2 runs or 1 run

I would think that Pitcher 2 gets charged with 1 run and Pitcher 3 with 2 runs unless there is something to do with a Fielders Choice

BHempy

Hempy,

Thanks for the question, if I were stoned perhaps I would also be unaware of to whom earned runs are charged. And what happened to pitcher 1 in your question? Why do we start with pitcher 2? Was pitcher 1 an African American player for Joe Torre and thus unfairly yanked early in the game http://www.newsday.com/sports/baseball/yankees/ny-spsheff0714,0,3077023.story?

Anyway, a pitcher is charged an earned run only for players he actually allowed on base himself. Thus in your borderline literate example (I was particularly enamored with batter 7’s at-bat), pitcher 1 faced batters 1, 2, and, 3 with only batter 3 scoring. Therefore, pitcher 1 would only be charged with one run. So your assumption, if not your grammar, was correct. As for the fielder’s choice, it was as relevant in this example as a book in Dexter Manley’s house.

Toodles,

AC Titticock IIIi Esquire

Runner on third base, less than 2 outs. the batters bunts to the pitcher, the pitcher throws home and the runner on third gets caught in a run down (pickle). The runner runs back and forth and finally beats teh trow home after the ball was thrown into left field....does the batter get an RBI? I say no.

V/r James

James,

First of all, sorry for the delay in answering this question. I parlayed my NBA winnings into several extra days of strippers and Royal Blumpkins so I have been a bit behind on my e-mails. Hopefully, my delay in getting back to you did not cause any money to inadvertently change hands.

As for your question, the batter would not get an RBI as the run would not have scored but for the error. The explanation can be found here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Error_%28baseball%29.

“a batter does not receive credit for a RBI when runs score on an error, unless the scorer rules that a run would have scored even if the fielder had not made a mistake.”

Hope that helps,

AC Titticock IIIi Esquire

Who and how many Quarterbacks have won an NCAA championship title and a SuperBowl?

Nicole GoForth

Ms. Goforth,

First of all, congrats on the name. I wish you would "go forth" and make out with a ton of hot chicks and send me the pictures, it would only be fair.

Now as for your question, Broadway Joe Namath is the only quarterback to win a Super Bowl and a college football national championship http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Namath.

Namath led the Jets to a victory in super bowl III and Alabama to a national championship in 1965. He also led his penis to victory just about every day in the 1970s by banging every hot chick in NYC, so for that we owe him much respect.

Toodles,

AC Titticock IIIi Esquire

PS Visit AC's NBA Basketball Picks Page new content coming in November.

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