First of all I want to thank all of you who made it out to see us for our annual editorial meetings in Las Vegas. Those of you who hung around with us learned three valuable lessons;

1. It is possible to turn $300 into $10k at a black jack table in 25 minutes. Sometimes you just have one of those days.

2. Strippers are people too (albeit hotter people, who will usually do fun things for a couple hundred dollars).

3. We should all short UB.

Anyway, it was a successful weekend as there were no injuries, arrests, or herpes outbreaks (though I may have to burn my jeans as it’s not clear if denim is a herpes carrier). So on to this week’s questions.

hey

most swimming athletes begin their training at 10-15 yrs old. my friend used to do competitive swimming but stopped, now she's 17 and is wanting to get back into it and make it to the olympics. is it too late for her to start or even possible for her to accomplish?

Kay D.

Dearest Kay,

You have come to the right place as we at wagercom.com specialize in helping out teenage girls and their athletic endeavors. At wagercom.com the whole editorial staff, even our logically challenged college football writer DJ, have spent countless hours and years studying the teenage female muscle structure to understand what makes it fit and what needs to be worked on. Obviously in swimming, one needs to spend countless hours in the gym doing lunges and reverse cowboys while also devoting ones time to stroking in the pool. So if it has been many years since your friend has been a back stroker, then it will be hard for her to regain her conditioning.

Anyway, I think the best way we can help is for you to send us a picture of your nubile young friend in her swimming attire (preferably a bikini) so we can properly judge what kind of shape she is in to see if she still can get back to swimming competitively (though she must be 18 years old for us to receive the photo). If she has let herself go, it will likely be near impossible to get back into competitive shape unless she gets into a rigorous program usually involving roids (which we don’t promote here at wagercom.com), weight training, stamina practice, and even working the pommel horse.

In short, if you send us a picture so we can accurately determine your friend’s physical condition (and if you are making out with her it will actually help us more, especially if it is in the shower) we will let you know how best for her to get back into swimming and compete at a top level. This really is our specialty at wagercom.com and we are happy to help. Trust me, if anyone knows about the shape of 18 year old girls, it is us.

God Bless and God Speed,

AC Titticock IIIi Esquire

Lead NBA writer www.wagercom.com

AC,

I am in a fantasy football league where we keep 1 rookie player each year so this year I reached for Steve Slaton in the middle of the draft. Was that stupid or does slaton have a chance?

RN

Wow. It only took me 45 minutes to find Slaton on my draft sheet so my quick answer is you blew that pick like a Mexican hooker at a donkey show. However, Houston’s depth chart at rb is thinner than an Olsen twin after a 2 week binge and purge marathon so maybe it’s not such a bad pick. The only guy really in front of Slaton right now is Ahman Green whose last productive season was in 1983 when James Lofton created enough of an outside threat to give the Packers a quality running game. There is also fellow rookie Chris Taylor but it seems that the Texans may actually give Slaton the ball early to let him prove himself. He has risen up a number of draft boards and even this guy at Yahoo! thinks he will be solid comparing him to Bryant Westbrook and Reggie Bush (and I think he means that as a complement). In short, you could have made a very good pick. Alternatively you probably could have taken Ray Rice at the same spot and made a better pick, but nobody is perfect, except for Bar Refaeli.

AC Titticock

Lead NBA writer www.wagercom.com

Any thoughts on the Redeem Team post gold-medal?

NS

Not Philadelphia

First of all, “not Philadelphia” is a weird address. What happened, could you not get someone to co-sign a lease or something? Anyway, I hate the name the “Redeem Team.” There was nothing to redeem. They played like shit four years ago because they had a shitty coach, shitty players, and a shitty attitude. The players this year were not a part of that disaster so thus had nothing to redeem (yes LeDong, Melo, and Wade were on that team but Larry Brown gave them less playing time than Jeff Foxworty gets at the BET awards).

Anyway, I thought the US team played very well considering they were very limited in the front court with Dwight Howard bricking anything outside of 3 feet, Chris Bosh too skinny to post up, and Carlos Boozer relegated to being Coach K’s 4th assistant. Dwyane Wyane Wade was all over the court, Kobe finally hit some big shots, Chris Paul was solid all around, and LeDong showed everybody why it is his world and we are all just procreating in it.

I know a lot of people are saying the US got lucky that Calderon was hurt for Spain, but in his absence, Rudy Fernandez went for 22 points, Juan Carlos Navarro went for 18, and Ricky Menudo Rubio played solidly. The point is, if Calderon would have played, he wouldn’t have added more than those three did in his absence.

So I was impressed by the US team given their roster, coaching, and competition. If I were grading them I would give them a B. They could have improved on a bunch of things but did enough to show they are the best.

AC Titticock

Lead NBA writer www.wagercom.com

PS Visit AC's NBA Basketball Picks Page new content coming in November.

contact AC at ac@wagercom.com or post your questions/comments on the Wagercom Message Board


To sign up to receive the Wagercom.com Free Newsletter click here.