1. The F the Bizzooch column is our chance to rant at a player or team who has treated us like a young boy on a “giraffe” ride at the Neverland ranch. It is our opportunity to tell the folks that caused us to lose our bets just how detestable they are and how much we wish bad things to happen to them, like dating William Green’s baby’s momma or marrying the man that Kurt Warner did. It is a therapeutic way for the editorial staff to vent their frustrations without breaking anything, harming small animals, or lapsing into a Whiskey coma.

2. What is the Bizzooch? The Bizzooch represents everybody that has ever brought you a smiley face cupcake on a Monday morning. The Bizzooch watches Everybody Loves Raymond, Sex in the City, and is content with the fact that there is no money shot in lesbian porn. The Bizzooch not only sat through the whole movie Titanic but feels the need to tell you about it 5 years later. In fact, the Bizzooch is responsible for group hugs, talking about your feelings, and trying to make sure everybody had a great day. In short, the Bizzooch represents all that is wrong with the world. It is for this reason that once a week we need to say F the Bizzooch.

12/10/03 AC Titticock gives us this week’s F the Bizzooch column.

For the second time in three weeks a Milwaukee Buck gets my F the Bizzooch award. Last time it was Tim Thomas and this week it is the whole team. Losing to the Arena-less Wizards at home is reprehensible. It was the only blemish on my 5-1 record. Milwaukee, I now hate you as if you were the Stanford Graduate School Admissions committee. I hope you lose the rest of your games, get the first pick next year, and trade it for a soon to be jailed Kobe Bryant. Thanks for ruining my weekend, Toni Kukoc. I hated the bucks with Sikma and Randy Breuer and now I hate them even more.

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