AC TITTICOCK'S WEEKLY FREE NBA BASKETBALL PICKS AND WINNERS

There are several days I will remember forever, most of them being painful experiences like the day I had to sit through the entire movie Titanic or the day I learned that just because she gives you a lap dance does not mean she’s going home with you. But there are many days I remember for the good things as well and Tuesday was certainly one of them. That’s because Jim O’Brien, formerly the worst coach in the NBA, finally let go of his stranglehold on the Celtics and resigned. Halleluiah!!!!!!!!! I haven’t been this excited about the NBA since the last Celtics coaching change (Jimmy O replacing Craptino) which was actually eclipsed my excitement of ML Carr passing the baton to Craptino. As an aside, have all NBA teams gone through a string of horrible coaches like the Celtics have? I mean ML, could barely spell ML, Craptino didn’t understand that NBA players don’t want to be in shape, and O’Brien simply didn’t understand how to coach. What a terrible decade for Celtics coaching, Red Auerbach must be rolling over in his grave and yes, I know he’s not dead but that’s not the point.

Anyway, Jim O’Brien seems to have a lot of supporters in the NBA (of course it helps that his father in law Dr. Jack Ramsay is all over ESPN touting this donkey O’Brien as a good coach) and I am here to show what every Celtic fan knows, and that is O’Brien was the worst, most stubborn, frustrating coach to walk the sidelines. And by the way, I’ve got money that says Ramsay’s doctor title is for studies in proctology (please supply your own punchline).

Why Jim O’Brien was terrible (the short list)

1. He could not coach the Xs and Os and did not understand player substitution. When they lost to the Nets two years ago, the player that sparked them was Erick Strickland. However, Obie did not figure this out until the end of game 6, what a moron. Also, every game that series the Celtics started by going down 20 points yet pigheaded O’Brien would not change the starting line-up. Just shoot me. Watching him coach a game was like being forced to watch re-runs of Mad About You, all you could think of was wanting to throw up on your socks.

2. He would not adapt his system to the players but made his players adapt to his system. That would be ok if he had a good system but Obie’s let’s shoot 3’s and double team the ball every time on defense seemed like it was constructed by Corky from Life Goes On. They were out rebounded every night, had no ball movement on offense, chucked more threes than I do playing intramurals (I was 3-5 from three on Saturday), and double teamed Shaq at the foul line. Obie, you killed me. Honestly, the gerbil in your head was either running backwards or the wheel was broken.

3. Walter McCarty. 30+ minutes a game to have your power forward get 2 rebounds a night. Great idea Jimmy.

4. Kedrick Brown, Joe Johnson, Joe Forte, Brandon Hunter, Kendrick Perkins, Marcus Banks. Does anybody know if these guys can play? They may be terrible but nobody would ever know because Obie would not let them off of the bench. He developed zero young players in his tenure. He is the anti-Michael Jackson of coaching. His team is the worst rebounding team in the league and he didn’t even give Brandon Hunter (last season’s NCAA rebounding leader) a try out.

I could go on and on because I truly believe O’Brien was the most stubborn, misguided coach in the NBA. Obie’s Celtics were not only not fun to watch but frustrating to root for. So Obie, here’s to hoping you get the Knicks or Lakers job next and ruin a different franchise. Ahh, Isiah and Obie, a match made in heaven. When Lenny Wilkens has had enough of Marbury, Obie will be free to further ruin the knicks, just a wonderful thought.

On to the free nba picks:

NBA BASKETBALL PICKS FOR SATURDAY 1/31/04

So I’ve received the fan mail, and to quote a few “you suck, your picks suck, and I hate you,” “have you ever seen an NBA game Einstein? The lint on my shirt can pick better than you,” and finally “Dude, did you catch the Real World San Diego? That Blond chick is so dumb and even she could pick games better than you, clownboy.”

I’ve heard my critics but now I am going to answer them. Just remember 3 things:

1. These picks are free, pay me and I’ll be able to devote more time to the NBA assclowns. I gots to try to get my employment on so I can’t be sittin on NBATV all night.

2. Those who pay midget strippers to dance under glass table shouldn’t throw stones.

3. I hate you all.

Tonight promises to be a good night for my NBA picks. If you want to make money, thank me tomorrow.

Chicago +11 at Portland:

Chicago is terrible, Portland is terrible. Zach Randolph and Eddy Curry should be a good match-up, that is if Eddy Curry weren’t such a lazy piece of crap. Even so, an NBA team should not lose by 11 after they lost by 20 the night before. The Bulls should have some pride and try to make a game of this.

Clippers +4.5 at Orlando:

Clippers playing second of back to backs on the road. They blew a big lead to the Heat last night, don’t expect the same tonight. Clippers should win outright.

New Jersey at Houston -5:

Rockets coming off of a two game losing streak, Nets on a high from Scott being fired. Look for both teams to revert to the mean.

contact AC at ac@wagercom.com or post your questions/comments on the Wagercom Message Board

To sign up to receive this column each week by email simply click on: info@wagercom.com, put your email address in the message box and hit send.

Check the current point spreads and game lines.