AC TITTICOCK'S WEEKLY FREE NBA BASKETBALL PICKS AND WINNERS

1. I am thankful that I am not Kedrick Brown’s intensity, Jamaal Tinsley’s jump shot, or Mark Madsen’s rhythm. If I were any of those things, I wouldn’t exist. How stupid is Danny Ainge for extending Kedrick Clown’s contract? I’ve said it before but it bears repeating, he is Harold Minor with a worse jump shot and less charisma. He’s lucky Ainge is so generous or he would have to rely on his two year degree at Devry to support himself. Hey Kedrick, can I get fries with that?

2. I am thankful for Yao, Amare Stoudamire, Carmelo Anthony, and LeDong James. The young guys can play and they are fun to watch. I hope they continue to learn the game and learn how to hit more open jump shots and pass the ball. LeDong has a great feel for the game and is a tremendous passer. He should be fun to watch for years to come, unless he goes Kobe on us. Yao can just play. He will win a title before any of the others.

3. I am thankful for Shaq and Kobe. The soap opera continues with Shaq-fu and Kobe now making like they get along. Does anybody think Shaq pulled an LT and sent that girl to Kobe’s room? Kobe Kobe Kobe, I have no words for your stupidity but in my heart I feel bad for you. It must not be easy being so rich, talented, and young. Way to throw all of that away, assclown.

4. I am thankful for my new favorite player Udonis Haslem. The man who has more anagrams than Michael Jackson has had sleepovers with adolescent boys. He rides in his Sunshade Limo and if you shout Loudish Names at him, your Anus he will Demolish. Udonis, thank you for being part of the NBA.

5. I am thankful that Danny Ainge is hanging Jim O’Brien out to dry. Hey Obie, you are a terrible coach. You’re offensive schemes are horrible and your brain malfunction in not playing Erik Strickland in the playoffs last year was reprehensible. Honestly, you could give Kobe a run for stupidest human alive. You make ML Carr look like Isiah Thomas and that is a huge step because it’s not clear ML could even spell his first name. I can’t wait for Obie to be gone, bring on DJ or the Chief.

6. I am thankful for all 5 feet 5 inches of Earl Boykins. He is shorter than me and can play hoops about a billion times better than I can. His height deficiency is similar to Kobe’s brain deficiency, yet Earl makes up for it with skills while Kobe suffers under the weight of his idiocy. Earl can play and he is throwing in 13.5 points per game. This is why I watch the NBA because skills actually matter and my boy Earl has got some skillz.

7. Most of all I am thankful for growing up in the 1980’s with Larry Bird and the Boston Celtics. Larry, Robert, Kevin, DJ, Danny, and Bill Walton can never be matched again. Add in Reggie Lewis and there is no competition. Every High school basketball player should be forced to sit down and watch Larry Legend in any game from 1980-1988. All he did was ball, pass the rock, and drop jumpers in Dominique’s eye. There will never be another Larry, and on thanksgiving we should all give props to the legend.

On to the nba basketball picks for Saturday:

NBA BASKETBALL PICKS FOR SATURDAY 11/29/03

Here’s the problem with picking games Thursday night for printing Friday, injuries are not always announced. I picked the Bucks not knowing Tim Thomas would not play, the Sonics not knowing Rashard Lewis would not play, and the Mavericks not knowing Dirk would not play. I scoured the team websites for info, in my column even saying something weird must be going on with the Mavs game, but there was no injury info posted. I lost all three games but if I knew about the injuries I never would have picked them. Make sure you do your own research and double check the injury report before games. Terrible, I feel used and lied to like an NBA groupie leaving a hotel in the morning. I did win the one game where everybody was healthy, the Wolves over the Grizzlies. For Saturday, I am picking assuming no injuries unless I state them. If at game time a player is not starting, know that my line will not reflect that unless I said so. So lame, I hate injured players more than I hate Bill Laimqueer.

New Orleans -2.5 at New York: The Knicks have been playing better but Baron has a lot to prove. NYC can be his showcase for the best all around game in the NBA so far this year. With 11 wins so far Tim Floyd has already eclipsed his 3 year total with the Bulls. Take New Orleans in a squeaker even if Van Horn plays.

San Antonio -5 at Golden State: The Warriors are on a three game winning streak and the Spurs got blown out last night. All the makings for a let down for the Warriors and a victory for the Spurs using Jiggy’s reversion to the mean probability theory of betting. Duncan will treat Dampier like the crappy player that he is and Tony Parker will run circles around Nick the Quick and Speedy Claxton. Spurs will win by 9.

Memphis -1 at Cleveland: My third pick is also my third road team giving points. I have been on the Memphis bandwagon all year and this is the last time I pick them if they don’t cover (I did win last night by picking against them). Battier is trying to light a fire under the tepid Gasol and crew by calling them out after last night’s loss. The mighty LeDong was torched for 44 last night by Richard Hamilton, imagine what will happen when he plays my boy Kobe. The Cavaqueers play well at home but I think the Grizzlies are ready to step it up. Look for Memphis by 7.

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