AC TITTICOCK'S WEEKLY FREE NBA BASKETBALL PICKS AND WINNERS

What a week, the Magic won 2 games, the Clippers won 3 in a row, and the Timberwolves are hotter than a Jenna Jamieson-Janine Lindemuller locker room scene. The biggest news though was Trader Danny, soon to be known as mini-Pitino (or is Pitino mini-Danny), trading the core of his crappy players for the core of Cleveland’s problems. Here is a brief breakdown of what could go down as one of the least memorable big trades in NBA history.

Tony Battie, Eric Williams, Kedrick Clown, and a jar of vaseline from the Celtics to the Cavaqueers for Chris Mihm, Michael “Yogi” Stewart, a second round pick, Ricky Davis, Ricky Davis’s attitude, Ricky Davis’ Ego, and rights to Ricky Davis’ brain should it ever be found:

Wow, a lot going on here. First of all, the Celtics unloaded two role players and a bust for some talent. Tony Battie is not bad, but his knee has been hurting for over a year now. I like Eric Williams a lot for his tenacity, unfortunately I don’t like his game. He is the perfect player to add to a veteran team for a playoff push but I’m not sure how he fits into a young, rebuilding team. As for Kedrick Clown, he has no basketball skills or desire. If only you got points for the high jump in basketball. Kedrick, Joey Forte, and Joe Johnson will forever be the legacy of Celtics GM Chris Wallace. Way to waste three first round picks, Chris, what was wrong, were Bobby Hurley and Fennis Dembo already gone? Of course Kedrick Clown went for 11 points in his first night on team LeDong, 11 points more than he has all year (ok maybe not, but work with me here). If Kedrick does turn into an NBA player, it will further show Jim O’Brien’s ineptitude. He has developed zero young players in his time as a coach, he is the anti-Michael Jackson.

More importantly, Poor LeDong goes from a young somewhat talented team to an older less talented team. He must be happy. Of course, getting rid of Ricky Davis lowers LeDong’s possibility for getting arrested for Marijuana by 97%. Remember, it’s LeDongs world and we’re all just along for the ride.

As for the Celtics, they got some talent. I actually really like Chris Mihm, and I am not making that up. He has a good touch, can block shots, and when healthy he has been a decent player. Michael Stewart, who goes by Yogi apparently because crappy NBA players need nicknames other “you suck,” is really not any good and will take Kedrick’s seat at the end of the bench. The key to the trade was Ricky Davis. A younger, more athletic, version of Antoine Walker, ugh. Paul Pierce is apparently a big fan so as long as Paul is making the trades, lets see if he can get his buddy Baron Davis too. I am not a big Ricky Davis fan as I think he is a moron and will only create problems but he is undeniably more talented than the three players the Celtics gave up. I say the over/under is 5 weeks before he and O’Brien have their first blow up. O’Brien likes defense and the only defense Ricky Davis knows of is de-fence around de-house he lives in, bwahahahaahah!!!!!! Wow, that joke was as bad as a Jim Paxson trade. I wonder if Jim and John are in a competition to see who can get used by more NBA general managers. So far Jim is in the lead but Jalen Rose is helping John catch up quickly. Trader Danny struck again. It will be interesting to see how this pans out. I think for his next move Danny is going to offer Water McCarty, Raef LaFrentz and 2 first round picks to Texas for Arod and Hank Blalock. Come on Danny, let’s trade them all.

Anyway, on to this week’s NBA picks:

NBA BASKETBALL PICKS FOR SATURDAY 12/20/03

The Clippers got it handed to them in Houston last night but the Pacers and Kings came through making me 2-1 on the night. Yao was just too big for Chris Kaman but I would still take the Clippers +7 if I had to do it again. Tonight’s games are a little tougher but I’ll still get all of you paid.

San Antonio -3 at Portland:

San Antonio is on fire after another road win last night. Is it too much to expect them to do it two nights in a row? I don’t think so. By the way, did any of you read Bill Walton’s vitriolic diatribe directed towards Rasheed? Wow, I haven’t read anything that angry in the mainstream press since my days of writing letters to Dan Shaughnessy. While we’re on the subject, Dan, get a haircut and learn something about sports before you write about it, moron.

Cleveland at Chicago -4.5:

Cleveland won their first road game in 34 tries last night in Philly thanks to LeDong going off and AI sitting on the bench. The Celtics trade actually helped them as Battie and Eric Williams were stabilizing forces for them down the stretch, and I am not making that up. Plus Boozer abused Derrick Coleman over the last 5 minutes and I’m not making that up either. However, LeDong won’t pull it out twice in a row especially with the emergence of Kirk Hinrich of the Bulls. I thought Hinrich would be the next Dan Dickau (I said Dickau, bwahahahah!) but he has stepped it up the last couple of weeks under Skiles. Crawford and Hinrich are playing well and one of these days Curry is going to put it together. Take the Bulls.

Nets at Milwaukee Pick’em:

Don’t ask. I said I would never take the Bucks again but I’ve got a hunch here. I know last week I proved you should never go with your gut, so take this one with that warning. If you’re feeling extra full in your wallet, you might want to think about taking the wolves -5.5 over the pacers, but do some more research on that one first.

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