AC TITTICOCK'S WEEKLY FREE NBA BASKETBALL PICKS AND WINNERS

AC's NBA Picks Playoff Record
Wins: 19 Losses: 13 Ties: 2
NBA Picks Playoff Winning Percentage: 59%

Contact AC at ac@wagercom.com or post your questions/comments on the Wagercom Message Board

Read AC's Bio

06/10/04 Free NBA Playoff Picks Against the Spread

I am excited to announce the addition of our new NBA Basketball expert analyst AC Titticock. While leafing through resumes prior to selecting our new NBA Basketball gambling expert it became clear that AC was the man for the job. Not only did his analysis come across entertaining but it was clear he knew the NBA and about betting on basketball. I am confident you will find his outlook on the NBA extremely useful especially when it comes to his weekly free NBA Basketball picks against the spread. AC will be providing us with a weekly outlook and his free NBA Basketball picks on some of the weekend games each Friday and sometimes Saturday as well.

AC has wrapped up the NBA betting season with a 51% winning percentage against the spread on his NBA basketball picks after 184 games.

NBA BASKETBALL PLAYOFFS WEEK 8

We’ve been waiting 8 months for this, and no I am not talking about the Soprano’s season finale, it is the NBA finals and it is Fan-Tastic (if by fantastic I mean terribly one-sided). After sitting through last year’s draft, pre-season, the NBA all-star game, the remarkable retirement and then comeback of Taylor Rain, the A-Rod fiasco, and the 97 rounds of the playoffs leading up to this, we are left with the Lakers and the Pistons. One skilled team that plays with no fluidity and one team that is neither skilled nor fluid. We are left with two of the least likeable teams to watch, neither of which plays good basketball, yet somehow they are the class of their respective divisions. The Lakers did it by rotating their one on one play between Shaq and Kobe while the Pistons did it by selling their souls to the devil (but they did get free t-shirts in the deal as well, so you have to give them some props). Rather than harp on the fact that the Pistons may be the worst team ever to make the Finals, seriously, can you name a worse one, I am going to break down the match-ups to show why the Lakers will take it in 5.

Point Guard: Chauncey Billups vs Gary Payton

Billups isn’t really a point guard and Gary Payton isn’t really still in the league, is he? Wow, I guess he is. Apparently Bob Cousy couldn’t make it back from Florida on time to pass his physical this year to join the Lakers so they turned to the next oldest living former all-star point guard to lead their team. Payton has looked terrible in the playoffs, seems like his feet are buried in cement. He is getting outplayed by his back-up Derek Fisher which is kind of like being out homered by the Joker, Joey Randa. On the other side, Billups really hasn’t done much in the playoffs other than his big half-court three pointer. I’m surprised by that because Billups is a pretty clutch player, perhaps he steps it up here in the finals. Neither one of these guys is particularly good but I’d take Chauncey over the Glove anyday. Side note, the rumors that Glove was contemplating changing his name to Depends were not true.

Advantage Billups

Shooting Guard: Richard “Rip” Hamilton vs. Kobe “Just Say No, and then I’ll pretend you said yes” Bryant

Hmmm, the Pistons are one of the best defensive teams in the NBA and Kobe has one of the best legal defense teams. I’m not sure what that means other than if you are a high school girl and live in Colorado, you better cover your ass when you see Kobe walking by because he’s not shy. As for hoops, Kobe is good, good enough that they are going to try to make rape legal in California next year to try to get him to stay with the Lakers. I’m a big Richard Hamilton fan, he plays the game right and is fun to watch. He uses screens better than anybody in the NBA and is content hitting 20 footers rather than backing up all the way to the three point line for lower percentage shots. Problem is, he is not a go to guy and Kobe is The Go to Guy. Kobe is on another Planet than everybody else (and hopefully for him, that planet allows rape). Kobe is just too good on the court, and he is a mean SOB too. If Garnett had that killer instinct, the Lakers would not still be playing. A healthy Kobe is bad bad news for the Pistons, unless Larry brown decides to give a 17 year old girl a uniform and distract Kobe from obliterating Detroit.

Advantage Kobe

Small Forward: Tayshaun “Little Red Corvette” Prince vs. Devean George

Tayshaun has made some of the best defensive plays in the NBA and with his freakishly long arms he presents a challenge to whomever he covers. I would put him on Kobe, but what do I know? If Tayshaun could be assertive and call for the ball, he could be a factor, of course Ben Wallace scoring 20 points a night is more likely. Good thing Joe Dumars didn’t draft Carmelo Anthony because he had Prince, where would the Pistons be if they had done that? As for the Lakers, Devean George is not really very good, in fact, I’m not sure how to even rate him. He’s reminds me of every other mediocre NBA player except he gets to play with Shaq and Kobe, good for him.

Advantage: Prince, by default

Power Forward: RaWeed Wallace vs. The Player Formerly Known as The Mailman, Karl Malone

I really hate RaWeed, everything about him bothers me but what bothers me the most is that he makes 20 bazillion dollars and won’t spend twenty to dye the damn white spot of hair he has. I’m not sure how many more dime bag or technical foul jokes I can make. Fact is, RaWeed is really just nuts and will blow up sometime around game three. As for hoops, he’s got a good game, a little soft at times but his defense has been surprisingly strong. On the Lakers side, watching Karl Malone play is really pathetic. He is 6 foot 9 and can no longer dunk. He can not move or play defense. All he can do is hit a 10 foot jump shot and throw cheap elbows. One of the least classy players of all time, kind of like a quicker Bill Laimbeer with a better PR firm. The worst part is the persistent rumors that Danny Ainge wants to bring him to the Celtics next year to “tutor” the young kids, a move kind of like bringing Kobe Bryant over to teach your teenage son about dating (and yes, that was the 6th Kobe rape joke in this column, I’ve got to use them all up while he’s still in the NBA). Hey Danny, remember the Dominique Wilkins experiment, leave the Mailman alone.

Advantage: RaWeed Wallace

Center: Ben Wallace vs Shaq

I am one of the few people that is not a Ben Wallace fan. I hate his game. Basketball is a skill sport and he has no skills, he is an athlete masquerading as a basketball player and that is what is wrong with the NBA. There should be a rule, if you can not hit a ten foot jump shot and you’re name does not rhyme with Blockeal Queerneal, you should not be permitted in the NBA. The Lakers are lucky they have Shaq. He dominates the game when he wants to but often seems bored out there. What do you do when you don’t have a challenge? I can sympathize with Shaq as I often find it difficult to pick games because it is too easy. I feel like I don’t need to give it my all sometimes to keep it interesting. Of course during the playoffs, much like Shaq, I have stepped up my game and am 18-11 going into the Finals. Bet with me and I’ll make you richer than Shaq, and by richer than Shaq I mean much richer, like Warren Buffet rich, or at lest as rich as the girl Kobe raped after she sues him in civil court.

Advantage: Shaq-fu

Bench: Detroit: Mehmet Okur, One of the Barrys (either Jon or Brent or Harpo or Leroy, I’m not quite sure), Corliss Williamson, Mike James, Kid Rock, Darko Milicic

Lakers: Kareem Rush, Luke Walton, Derek Fisher, Ivan Drago Medvedenko, Rick Fox, Alan Alda, and Star Jones

Kareem Rush had his Timmy Smith moment in game 6 against the Wolves. I am happy for him and hopefully he can cash in on that and help support his brother and former Gutty UCLA Bruin Jaron “Leaving school early for the CBA” Rush. Derek Fisher has been playing great in the playoffs and Medvedenko has a nice little jump shot. Otherwise, there is not much there. I am not going to try to describe Rick Fox other than say he is perhaps the luckiest man on the face of the planet, right up there with the boy band dude married to Jessica Simpson and Ron Jeremy. The Pistons aren’t rolling much out there either. Williamson is ok and they keep talking about this Okur guy but I haven’t seen much from him. I think Mehmet Okur is Turkish for Joe Keline but my research staff is still looking into that. It’s always nice to have a Barry on your team, I’m not sure why, but I can’t think of any other reason for him being in the league.

Advantage: Nobody wins here, sometimes we all have to lose to make ourselves stronger people.

Coach: Larry Brown vs Phil Jackson

Larry Brown can flat out coach. Phil Jackson has won 9 championships. People give Phil a lot of crap for only winning with great teams but how many titles did Jordan and Shaq win without him? It’s not easy to coach and consistently motivate these prima donnas. I give Phil a lot of credit. That said, Larry Brown can coach anybody anywhere. Hell, I bet he could even turn Kedrick Brown into a player.

Advantage: We all win here, Brown for his strategy and Jackson for his player management

Pistons vs Lakers:

So what do we have? Two great coaches, one good team, and a lot of rape jokes. Everybody wins except the fans.

Advantage: Lakers in 5. I hate to go along with everybody else but the Pistons are just not very good. They’ll win one because Shaq will decide not to play (look out for the game 2 upset) but the Lakers are too tough.

On to the free NBA Playoff picks for Thursday June 10th:

I have to admit, game two will go down in the annals of Titticock’s sports history as one of the most disgraceful and embarrassing moments. That’s because with 10 seconds left in the game, your favorite handicapper (or is it handicapped?) fell asleep. The 14 hour work day combined with the 2 pints of beer led to my sound sleep and thus I missed Kobe’s shot. Just disgraceful, of course I was happy to wake up and see that the spread was a push and not a loss. This series has been tough to call as Detroit is really the better team but the Lakers have the dominant duo. Who will win? Tough to say so I am here to help out.

Lakers Even at Pistons:

Larry Brown gave the Lakers new life. How do you not foul in the last 10 seconds. If I had been awake, I may have passed out due to sheer incredulity of the non-foul. As for tonight’s game, Luke Walton turns back into a pumpkin and Depends Payton continues to show he is done, however, Kobe wakes up (and not next to a 17 year old girl) and drops in 40+ points. You heard it here first. Kobe is going to take over tonight and Lakers will win by 6.

Lakers at Pistons Over 170:

Sure, it may be low scoring since neither team can shoot, pass, or dribble but like I said Kobe is going to score 40+. So say 45 for Kobe, 26 for Shaq, 2 for each Payton and the Failman, and 15 for the bench gives the Lakers 90. I said, they’ll win by 6, so that gives the Pistons 84 for a combined 174. Top down and bottoms up analysis is why Titticock gets the big bucks (and by big bucks I mean the love and respect of my readers, and by love and respect I mean luke warm to disinterested appreciation).

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