AC TITTICOCK'S WEEKLY FREE NBA BASKETBALL PICKS AND WINNERS

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12/18/04 Week 7 NBA Picks

AC's outlook on the NBA is an entertaining original column featured here at Wagercom. If you are prone to NBA betting or even just an NBA fan, make sure you come back often to read his articles and free NBA Basketball picks against the spread. AC will be providing us with a weekly outlook during the basketball season including free NBA Basketball picks on some of the weekend games each Friday and Saturday.

Our NBA expert AC wrapped up the 2003-2004 NBA betting season with a 51% winning percentage against the spread on his basketball picks after 190 games ans has improved that to a 62% winning percentage against the spread so far this season.

Everybody knows how I feel about Kobe. He is petulant, conceited, weasely, and just plain stupid. He is perhaps the dumbest person in the history of the world (and yes that includes the guy who stuck his penis in a light socket, Ray Romano, and the 53% of the US population that voted for Bush). The thing is, he just keeps doing dumber and dumber things. I love the latest story about his wife being propositioned by Karl Malone and Kobe sticking up for her and being the voice of morality. Yes, Kobe Bryant, the man who cheated on his wife by raping (ok, maybe not raping but using or even feasting on) a barely attractive hotel worker and then tattling on his teammate (Shaq), is now the moral authority. He is the voice of reason and the victim of this crime. This is just great stuff and makes my job so much easier (that is if my job were actually a sportswriter or a comedian instead of a business school student and odds maker, but that’s all beside the point).

First of all, how does Kobe know Karl Malone was hitting on his wife? I mean Karl Malone just informed Mrs. Kobe that he was “Hunting for little Mexican girls” and let’s be honest if one were to hunt for Mexican girls, wouldn’t LA be the logical place to go? Seriously, I mean it’s not like he was saying this in Utah where there are no Mexicans.

Additionally, we know how Mexicans live in dirt, so wouldn’t a cowboy hat be the logical choice of attire to keep the dust and sun out of one’s eyes? And wouldn’t you want the cowboy boots to stomp on the little Mexican girl once you found her? It all seems logical to me so let’s not jump to the conclusion that the Mailman was hitting on Kobe’s wife when in fact all signs point to him actually hunting for Mexicans. Why he would want to do that, I don’t know, but then again this is a guy who has made almost $100MM and wants to drive a tractor trailer for a living http://www.cdlschool.com/malone.htm. So in summary, there are no winners here but plenty of losers, especially Mr. Bryant.

I really wish Vegas had lines on this stuff. I’d love to take under 2 years before Kobe gets divorced, the under in Kobe getting caught cheating again at 1 year, and then go long and buy Kobe does a Barbara Walters special. It would be great if those were all in one, as in Kobe bangs Barbara Walters on her special while still being married (I might pay per view that one) but dreams don’t always come true.

Anyway, last week‘s column featured haikus for the Eastern conference teams, so this week I finish up with the Western Conference.

Dallas Mavericks:

Cuban has the cash

Bought Dirk, Finley, and Stackhouse

How ‘bout hair stylist?

Denver Nuggets:

‘Melo likes the weed

Makes him focused and mellow

He is no LeDong

Golden State Warriors:

Mullin are you lost?

Murphy, Foyle, Richardson

Alton Lister next?

Houston Rockets:

Yao, yo, yo Yao, yikes

Maybe some MSG

Will give him flava

Los Angeles Clippers:

Losing for 12 years

Just consistently crappy

Hire some strippers

Los Angeles Lakers:

It’s Kobe’s team now

Hide all the hotel workers

Or cover their face

Memphis Grizzlies:

Fun while it lasted

Fratello will end it now

Gasol still pulls chicks

Minnesota Timberwolves:

Garnett needs to win

Championship brings money

Sprewell’s kids need food

New Orleans Hornets:

Who goes to these games

When boobs are flashed on the street

10 strings of beads please

Phoenix Suns:

Nash can play the game

Amare lighting it up

Bust in the playoffs

Portland Trailblazers:

What is there to say

About a team on parole

More convicts than OZ

Sacramento Kings:

Christie makes purses

Not heterosexual

Just like Chris Webber

San Antonio Spurs:

Manu Ginobli

Pulls the most ass in the league

Whole country to choose

Seattle Supersonics:

No more Jack Sikma

Not even one Detlef Schrempf

Sad day for whitey

Utah Jazz:

They had a great team

Kirilenko got injured

Fuck all the mormons

On to Picks for Friday Night:

New York at Philadelphia Under 198:

Two bad teams, an ugly game for all. I’d rather watch two midgets wrestle under a glass table. Actually, come to think of it, there’s not much I’d rather watch than two midgets wrestle under a glass table. Anybody know how to set that up for me?

Portland -6 at Atlanta:

If Atlanta keeps it up, Antoine Walker will be the only person to be the leading scorer for two of the top 20 worst teams ever http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/features/worstteams. I don’t know what this means other than that he really really sucks.

Denver +7.5 at Miami:

Miami should win this but not in a blow out. Denver has played terribly this year, mainly because ‘Melo is spending too much time smoking the sticky ricky, but he will play tonight. Camby has put together a nice run and even though he is the size of Shaq’s pinky, he will block a few shots. Take the Nuggets and hope they play some D.

Golden State at Houston -6.5:

Houston will win this game, but the 6.5 points does worry me a bit. The Rockets let teams hang with them but this one should be a laugher. If McGrady comes out running, this will be over early. Take the Rockets.

On to Picks for Saturday Night 12/18/04:

Well, 3-1 again last night even though the one loss was on an Allen Houston 3 –pointer at the buzzer to beat the over and send the Knicks-Sixer game into overtime. Here is an actual e-mail exchange during the game between myself and Tyler, who runs Wagercom.com.

AC—9:23pm

197 total points thanks to a missed free throw with 4 seconds left by willie green. 2 seconds left, Knicks down by 3, their ball. If they hit a three I will break my fucking tv.

AC Again—9:25pm

FUCKING ALLEN HOUSTON NAILED A THREE WITH .4 SECONDS LEFT AND A GUY IN HIS FACE. FUCKING ASSSSSSSSSSSSS. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I fucking hate him.

Tyler—10:12PM

MAYBE I CAN GET YOU A DEAL ON A TV

In short, I hate Allen Houston and I need a tv. Maybe some of you who have won money off of me (21-7 in the last 28 games) can chip in.

Portland at Detroit -8:

Jailblazers playing second of back to backs on the road against the defending champ Pistons. This will be an ugly game but the Pistons should clamp down on them and win 36-14.

Houston at Charlotte +4.5:

Charlotte has actually won its last 4 home games, and I am not making that up. The Rockets were home last night and now have to travel to Charlotte which may be in another time zone so there is that working against them as well (and yes that was sarcasm). I don’t know, this is not the brightest pick but what can you do?

Washington at Phoenix Under 217:

This is kind of a risky pick since neither team plays defense and 6 of the last 7 Suns games have been over 217. However, they both had long hard-fought games last night so could be a little sluggish.

Denver +9 at Orlando:

End of a long road trip for the Nuggets, first game back off of a long road trip for the Magic. So why take the Nuggets? 9 points is a lot to give.

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