AC TITTICOCK'S WEEKLY FREE NBA BASKETBALL PICKS AND WINNERS

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2/18/05 Week 16 ALL-STAR BREAK - NBA Picks

AC's outlook on the NBA is an entertaining original column featured here at Wagercom. If you are prone to NBA betting or even just an NBA fan, make sure you come back often to read his articles and free NBA Basketball picks against the spread. AC will be providing us with a weekly outlook during the basketball season including free NBA Basketball picks on some of the weekend games each Friday and Saturday.

Our NBA expert AC wrapped up the 2003-2004 NBA betting season with a 51% winning percentage against the spread on his basketball picks after 190 games and has greatly improved that to a 56% winning percentage against the spread so far this season.

1. A bitch slap contest: NBA players will bring their wives, girlfriends, or hos to the court, line them up, and see which one can unleash the best bitch slap.  While I know this may draw some criticism from feminists, PETA, the EPA, NOW, and NAMBLA (ok, I am not sure why NAMBLA would protest but that’s beside the point) if the NBA can deal with all the pot smoking, they should be ok with this.  After all, if smacking your wife or girlfriend were a crime, wouldn’t we all be in jail?

Points would be awarded not only for force, but also for distance, sound, and bruising.  Early favorites are Allen Iverson and Kobe Bryant with Calvin Murphy and Robert Parish leading up the old-timers event.

2. A rebound contest between Mark Blount and Earl Boykins: The ball clangs off the rim and they fight it out for possession.  First one to ten rebounds wins.  At 7 feet tall, Blount averages an astonishing 5.4 rebounds a game as the most disappointing and laziest center in the league.  Boykins at 5 foot 5 brings a ton of energy and grabs 1.8 rebounds per game.  Strange thing is, Boykins would be the odds on favorite.  The contest was originally going to be Blount rebounding against himself but that would have been too embarrassing for all involved.

To change subjects, ESPN is coming out with it’s new Dream Job show which will feature former NBA players vying for a spot as an NBA analyst.  I have to say, this is brilliant, really.  Taking Strange Love out of the equation (and yes, I will likely be Flavor Flav for Halloween), this might be the best thing to happen to tv since the cancellation of Everybody Loves Raymond (ok, it may not be cancelled but one can dream).

The contestants are Matt “token white guy” Bullard, JR Reid, Dr. Dunkenstein Daryl Dawkins, Gerald “Little brother” Wilkins, and former Celtic shooting guards Dana Barros and Dee Brown (and yes I got giddy just writing that).  Apparently, Ronnie Grandison, Kevin Gamble, Brian Shaw, Darren Daye, and Todd Day screwed up their applications.  The only thing that could make this show better would be Moses Malone and the subtitles that would need to be used to understand him.  Please add him to the show, for the love of fans, this needs to happen.  Anyway, here is my pre-show breakdown of the talent and what to expect.

Matt Bullard: 

Just like NBA teams need a token white guy, so does this show.  The odd thing is I thought he was still playing for Houston, Scott Padgett anyone?  Anyway, there is no way this guy wins.  I bet he gets down to the final three but don’t they already have Tom Tolbert doing analysis?  Come to think of it, has anyone ever seen Tolbert and Bullard in the same room?

Gerald Wilkins: 

He couldn’t dunk as well as his brother, he couldn’t shoot as well as his brother, and he couldn’t lose big games as well as his brother.  Gerald Wilkins is like Jermaine Jackson, probably had some talent but was always overshadowed by his more talented child molesting sibling (ok, I am pretty sure Dominique never molested any children but that is not the point).  Problem is, when Jermaine finally got some spotlight and dropped a solo album http://rateyourmusic.com/view_albums/artist_id_is_11410, it did worse than Cop Rock.  Expect the same from Gerald and he will be the first to get voted off.

JR Reid: 

The biggest question is does he go hightop fade or dreadlocks?  If he goes old school fade, I have to think he will be the odds on favorite but I fear there is little chance of that.  I am looking forward to the analysis of an unbelievable talent who was a career underachiever.  I imagine we will get all kinds of breakdowns of how guys can take plays off, proper ways to skip practice, and how to give effort only in your contract year.

Daryl Dawkins: 

I hope he breaks a backboard while sitting at the desk.  I am not sure how he will do this, but it needs to happen.  I don’t think Daryl will be long for this contest but I will savor every minute of it.  Let’s just hope he can parlay this into a spin-off where he, Moses Malone, Manute Bol, and Jack Sikma try to start a boy band.

Dana Barros: 

This is an interesting choice.  I grew up in Boston, watched Barros at BC and then followed him all through his NBA career including his stints with the Celtics.  The odd thing about this is that in the 16 or so years I have followed Barros, not once have I heard him talk or even read a quote from him in a newspaper.  Weird stuff, eh?  Perhaps he will just use sign language.  Don’t expect this to be a long run for Dana.

Dee Brown: 

First of all, I have to give props to my boy Dee.  As an ambitious young high schooler, I was able to convince Dee to give me 30 minutes of his time to do an interview for my high school paper.  I will be forever grateful for his generosity as it has been such a springboard to my journalistic accomplishments which include such momentous passages as my application to college, my application to business school, that creepy online posting for underage girls, and my internet award winning ramblings on wagercom.com (and by internet award winning I mean just internet).  As for the show, if I assume JR does not go with the hightop fade, Dee is the hands down favorite to win.  He is articulate, smart, and reasonably down to Earth.  The one scary thing is, have any of you seen the commercial for the show?  Dee looks like he has matured and gained a bunch of weight in a Gary Colemanesque fashion.  It is kind of eery.

Anyway, as it is the all-star break, there are no games to pick this week.  You’ll all have to make money the old fashion way, by selling bodily secretions and fluids. 

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