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AC TITTICOCK'S WEEKLY FREE NBA BASKETBALL PICKS AND WINNERS
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AC's Wagercom 2007-2008 NBA Picks Season Record
Wins: 82 Losses: 82 Ties: 4
NBA Picks Winning Percentage: 50%
Record updated Saturdays and Mondays
Contact AC at ac@wagercom.com or post your questions/comments on the Wagercom Message Board
Read AC's Bio
AC's outlook on the NBA is an entertaining original column featured here at Wagercom. If you are prone to NBA betting or even just an NBA fan, make sure you come back often to read his articles and free NBA Basketball picks against the spread. AC will be providing us with a weekly outlook during the basketball season including free NBA Basketball picks on some of the weekend games each Friday and Saturday.
Our NBA expert AC has had 4 consecutive winning seasons picking NBA games against the spread making you money including the VIG. AC does this out of the kindness of his heart and for the naked pictures of your girlfriends you send him as a token of your appreciation. So enjoy the columns and the picks..
AC'S NBA 2007-2008 WEEK 21 FREE NBA PICKS & COLUMN:
Buenos nachos amigos. I just got back from a lovely vacation in the Commonwealth of Puerto Rico (and interestingly enough, Puerto is derived from the ancient Spanish word for “shit” and Rico from the Latin “hole”, so it has that going for it). While in Puerto Rico, I was able to keep up with the NBA and see the Celtics demolish the Suns and the Hornets, the Lakers revert back to their losing ways, and Dirk Nowitzki treat his knee and ankle like Eliot Spitzer treats his whores (and to be open, I am required to put at least one Spitzer joke in every column for the rest of the season, it’s in my contract).
With ten to twelve games left in the regular season, the Western conference race for seeding is going to be very exciting, like the first time you played Houdini with your ladyfriend. While only the Lakers, Spurs, and Suns (yes the Suns) have a real chance of winning the West, the final eighth of the season will be much more intense than the NCAA tournament and more intense than NBA seasons past. So tell your friends, your enemies, and even your imaginary friend La’Twan to start watching the NBA.
While I would like to use this space to further espouse the virtues of the NBA, I am still recovering from my week of vacation in the land of the plantain and the recession waiting to happen. Between sips of my Margarita and ogles of the eighteen year olds sitting next to me at the pool, it dawned on me that the Puerto Rico experience is not too different from the experience of going to an NBA game. So as a service to humanity, the country, and the memory of Nipsey Russell, I will break down the similarities between Puerto Rico and attending an NBA game.
1. The food is overpriced and tastes like shit:
Have you ever been to a Puerto Rican restaurant in the continental United States? I didn’t think so, and there is a reason for that. Other than the plantains (which are delicious in small doses), the food is a combination of rice, beans, and I believe AIDS (not that I know what AIDS tastes like, but I imagine it would taste bad, kind of like Puerto Rican food, which is exactly my point), and everything is overcooked. Not only was the food bad, but it was overpriced. Ten dollars for rice and chicken, twenty five dollars for scorched Halibut, and seventeen dollars for a lousy crab ravioli. I haven’t been ripped off that much since ESPN started running stories about Carl Landry after I pumped him up in this space six weeks ago (“The emergence of Carl Landry in Houston helps (seriously, keep your eye on Carl, he is my super secret sleeper in the West”)).
The food situation compares favorably to that in NBA arenas where I spent fourteen dollars on four cold chicken fingers, fries, likely the concessionaire's herpes, and a bottle of water the last time I attended a game. I should have just balled up the fourteen dollars and eaten that.
2. NBA groupies in the stands and the ladies of Puerto Rico are largely unattractive (or large and unattractive, take your pick):
Here is a little known fact about the NBA groupies you see in the arenas, they usually look like a mixture of Aretha Franklin and the white girl from Making the Band who had all of the grotesque plastic surgery done to make her look inhuman. NBA players get the hot groupies at the clubs, not at the games. In fact it was a game groupie that gave Magic Johnson the HIV, not a club groupie or Isiah Thomas despite popular opinion.
The women of Puerto Rico are much like this. They are either overweight and shoehorned into tank tops and belly shirts, or annoying soccer moms at the pool who need to shut their traps and hit the gym once in awhile. The females in bikinis at the pool were more disappointing to me than the Black Sheep’s second album. I mean couldn’t there be one group of girls on Spring Break? Just one? And I’m not even talking about Florida State or UCLA girls, I would have gladly settled for a UNH or even Drexel Spring Break. I seriously wouldn’t have done one woman I saw on the street even with Shawn Kemp’s dick.
3. You get ripped off everywhere:
The average NBA ticket is over fifty dollars, and I firmly believe no source of entertainment should cost over fifty dollars unless she stays for more than an hour, doesn’t have any diseases, and leaves without renegotiating. To get a good seat, you have to drop around a hundred dollars per ticket, then you have to spend another forty or so on food and alcohol, and then you probably need to buy a stupid t-shirt and foam finger for your date which is another 25 dollars. So the cost of two people going to a game and not sitting in the nosebleed section is about three hundred dollars or the same as fourteen lap dances and entry fee to the World Famous Mitchell Brothers O’Farrell Theatre or a round trip flight from the East Coast to San Francisco. All of that to see a Raptors-Nets game where 80% of the players likely aren’t even trying.
This is similar to Puerto Rico where they job you on everything. I not only had to send two dinner bills back because they charged me a different price for entrees than what was listed on the menu, but one restaurant charged three dollars per person for fucking drinking water, and they didn’t even give a bottle of water, they just filled up the glasses. Plus, the cab drivers charge more than the stated prices and the food is 30% more expensive than it needs to be (see point #1 up top). If I could short a commonwealth, I would definitely short Puerto Rico. Every other building is under construction and the pace of new condos going up looks to be at a rate faster than the adoption of toilet paper after 1857 (little known fact, toilet paper was invented by a guy called Joseph Gayyety, and I promise I am not making that up). I am 100% sure most of those buildings and condos will be see-throughs since we are in a recession and those buildings had to be financed during 2006 when lending standards were looser than Lindsey Lohan at an all night coke fest. Puerto Rico is in for some serious economic problems, so buy the dollar and short their currency. Oh wait, they dollar is their currency. Wow, they are really screwed.
4. There are annoying kids everywhere:
In zero words and zero sentences I can express everything I like about kids, especially someone else’s kids (and no, AC does not have any legitimate kids that he knows about), hence one of the central problems with a Puerto Rico vacation and a live NBA game. At my lovely beach side hotel in the Rico, the pool was overcrowded with screaming little brats all under the age of twelve. I was regularly the only one past puberty in the pool and had to watch these obnoxious little mistakes splash each other and badly throw nerf footballs while their yenta mothers ignored them and talked about their SUVs, gas grills, and menopause. I haven’t been more annoyed by anything since the advent of those stupid LiveStrong bracelets.
This is much like NBA games where overprivileged little twerps scream and yell at the mascot, at their parents to get them more cotton candy, and at the stupid entertainment during timeouts. In other words, they cheer and yell at everything but the game itself. There is nothing more annoying than going to a game and having the little brats in front of you standing up at the wrong times, constantly whining, and then leaving in the middle of the third quarter and thus wasting the seats. The NBA should have a kids only section and it should be in the nosebleed section behind the baskets so real fans don’t have to deal with them.
So there is your warning about booking a trip to Puerto Rico or attending an NBA game. My advice is to just watch the NBA on tv, unless you get free tickets, and instead of going to Puerto Rico, save your money and buy a big screen tv.
SATURDAY NIGHT NBA PICKS
I apologize for not getting you picks yesterday, I was in transit all day having my airplane seat kicked by poorly behaved little kids and running to catch flights, so I was unable to win you free money. I’ll make up for that tonight and will be picking games Sunday as well. As always, enjoy the soup.
Cleveland +7.5 at Detroit:
Cleveland is in a bit of a rut and what better way to break out of it than by taking it to old foe Detroit. The Pistons will definitely be motivated after they were violated by LeDong in last year’s playoffs but LeDong still owns Detroit. Take the Cavs and root for Wally Szczerbiak to finally have a good game. It’s going to happen, eventually Wally will break out to fool Cavs fans into thinking he is actually good.
Milwaukee at Chicago -9.5:
The Bucks are a truly awful team and the Bulls still have an outside shot at a playoff berth, though it is like an Alaska outside and not a warm Miami Beach outside. I hate giving nine points and taking the Bulls because they are as consistent as Kathy Griffin is funny, but this is really a bet against Milwaukee. So hope the Bulls give some effort for the full forty eight minutes.
Golden State at Denver Under 239.5:
I know, I know, I know. These teams play defense like it causes leprosy and they like to score like they just found $1,000 on the floor of the Gold Club (and I am not entirely sure what that means). Either way, I refuse to take the over 240 in an NBA game. Just not happening. All you need is one 25 point quarter from each team, and that could certainly happen.
Charlotte at Portland -5.5:
The thing about Charlotte is that they really blow, especially on the road. The thing about Portland is that they are pretty decent, especially at home. You see where this is going. Take the Blazers and root for Roy to go off.
SUNDAY FREE NBA PICKS:
Well, last night really blew thanks to Milwaukee outscoring the Bulls by 14 in the fourth quarter, the Cavs completely mailing in the first half, and Portland collapsing down the stretch as apparently they have no heart when Brandon Roy does not play. I apologize for the lost cash last night, tonight we will make it all better.
Utah -6 at Minnesota:
I know Minnesota has gone 5-5 in their last 10, I know Utah sucks on the road, and I know Utah may be without Brewer, Okur, and Kirilenko. I also know that Utah got smoked last time in Minnesota and will want revenge and I also know that Minnesota sucks, which I think is the main point. The Jazz need this victory and Terriblewolves™ just need the season to end. Take the Jazz, hope they’re healthy, and hope Deron “Darren” Williams is motivated.
Miami at Boston -22.5:
Fuck it. This breaks every rule of gambling I have set up. You never give more than 15 unless it is the Terriblewolves™ on the road or San Antonio at home. Giving 22.5 points in an NBA game is riskier than Eliot Spitzer barebacking his escorts. The Celtics will need to play intensely for 3.5 quarters to make this happen and there is a 75% chance of that. Also, as a reminder, the Heat’s leading scorer last game was some guy named Blake Ahearn of whom even I have never heard and yet I now applaud as the anagram for Mr. Ahearn’s name is “Anal Break He,” which is exactly what Rajon Rondo is going to do to him. The Heat starters last game were some guy named Kasib Powell, Earl Barron (not to be confused with an Earl or a Baron), Chris Quinn, and the immortal twins of bad basketball Mark Blount and Ricky Davis. After typing this I feel a bit better about giving 22.5 points, but still, it will be close.
Philadelphia at Cleveland -3.5:
After yesterday’s stinker, if Cleveland does not come out gunning today, they need to get their balls checked. The Cavs’ acquisitions of Ben Wallace and Wally Szczerbiak have helped them as much as the Mavericks’ acquisition of Jason Kidd, and that is not a good thing. This Cavs team needs to show some heart because Philly brings it and they have been resting up since getting smoked by Phoenix Friday night. Take the Cavs and hope LeDong just kills it today, kills it.
Sacramento -5 at Seattle:
Teasing this with the over 215 is probably your best bet here as the Kings are less consistent than a Dostoevsky translation. Ron Artest takes one out of every three nights off and Beno Udrih is unlikely to play. Add to that that the Sonics have been keeping games close and may be motivated tonight and you have the recipe for a close game. Still, Seattle is worse than a Jennifer Lopez movie, so we’ve got that going for us. Take the Kings and root for some effort.
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