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AC TITTICOCK'S WEEKLY FREE NBA BASKETBALL PICKS AND WINNERS
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AC's Wagercom 2007-2008 NBA Picks Season Record
Wins: 113 Losses: 101 Ties: 4
NBA Picks Winning Percentage: 53%
NBA Playoffs Only Record
Wins: 22 Losses: 12 Ties: 0
NBA Picks Winning Percentage: 65%
Record updated Saturdays and Mondays
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AC's outlook on the NBA is an entertaining original column featured here at Wagercom. If you are prone to NBA betting or even just an NBA fan, make sure you come back often to read his articles and free NBA Basketball picks against the spread. AC will be providing us with a weekly outlook during the basketball season including free NBA Basketball picks on some of the weekend games each Friday and Saturday.
Our NBA expert AC has had 4 consecutive winning seasons picking NBA games against the spread making you money including the VIG. AC does this out of the kindness of his heart and for the naked pictures of your girlfriends you send him as a token of your appreciation. So enjoy the columns and the picks..
AC'S NBA 2007-2008 NBA FINALS FREE NBA PICKS & COLUMN:
The NBA Finals are here and we are kicking it 1980s style with the Celtics and the Lakers. So put on your Jams, crank up you Atari 2600 game of Donkey Kong (and you all really should see this movie), and ladies grow out your bushes, because we’re going back in time to break down the Finals for you with a 1980’s slant. To help understand who is going to prevail, your boy AC is going to look at each match-up and compare the players to TV actors/characters from the 1980s.
Point Guard: Derek Fisher vs. Rajon Rondo
Most similar 1980s TV actor/character to Derek Fisher: Mr. Drummond, Diff’rent Strokes.
Mr. Drummond wasn’t the focal point of the show but he treated all of his kids equally (even though two of them were his cleaning lady’s) and was always there when Arnold/Willis/Kimberly needed him most such as when he called the cops on Mr. Horton as Mr. Horton was about to diddle poor little Dudley. Much like Mr. Drummond, Derek Fisher is not the focal point of the Lakers, but he is the wise veteran who gets along with all of his teammates and is there with clutch shooting when the Lakers need it most.
Most similar 1980s TV actor/character to Rajon Rondo: Punky Brewster.
While Punky Brewster was a pretty uneven show, sometimes it was good but usually it was pretty lame, 98% of the reason we all watched it was because we knew (or at least hoped) that Punky Brewster would grow up to be hot (the other 2% being that it was on before most of us had cable so there was nothing else to watch). Most of us imagined what Punky would like at 17 and then dreamt of the things we would do to her, things that would make even Kobe Bryant blush.
This is like Rajon Rondo whose game is still pretty uneven, but he shows the ability to be a top notch point guard. Some nights good Rondo shows up and some nights bad Rondo shows up. We all wait for the day when Rondo develops an outside shot which we can only hope will be as good as the Punky Brewsters Soleil Moon Frye developed.
Match-up: So who wins between Mr.D’s consistency and calming influence and Punky Brewster’s promised hotness and occasional decent performance? This is a tough one. Some nights Rondo will be better and some nights Fisher will be. Fisher’s defense is very underrated and if he hits his jump shot, the Celtics could be in trouble. That said, Rondo has the upside, but it’s anyone’s guess as to whether or not it comes through.
Result: Toss-up
Shooting Guard: Kobe Bryant vs. Ray Allen
Most similar 1980s TV actor/character to Kobe Bryant: Arnie Becker, LA Law:
In a lot of ways Kobe Bryant is more like Benson because we all know behind the scenes Benson just fucked everybody (I’m sure he was hitting Kraus, Denise, Katie when she turned 17, and he probably even bent Clayton over once or twice just for good measure.). However, the Arnie Becker analogy works a bit better.
Some of you may not remember but LA Law was the top rated show for much of the 1980s and Arnie Becker (played by the forgotten Corbin Bernsen,) was the shining star of the show when it was at its pinnacle. Arnie Becker was a divorce attorney who slept around, pissed off his employers, and always did whatever was in his best interest. Not only that, but at the time actor Corbin Bernsen was banging half of Hollywood while the other half waited in line.
This is exactly like Kobe. Kobe whined for years, teammates hated him, and only now that he has a decent supporting cast has he seemingly dropped his selfishness (though we all know that this is temporary since Kobe is totally self serving and only “fitting in” because it is in his best self interest right now). Like Arnie Becker, Kobe is at the top of his field, got their by being unscrupulous, and feels free to break any rule, or hymen he comes across.
Most similar 1980s TV actor/character to Ray Allen: Uncle Phillip on Webster played by Ben Vereen: Those devout Webster fans remember Webster’s Uncle Phillip as the conniving Uncle who wanted to take Webster away from the loving Papadapolises (or is it Papadapoli?). The problem was, this was completely the wrong role for Ben Vereen. Everybody loves Ben Vereen so casting him as essentially the villain was just plain wrong. Seriously, nobody wanted to see Vereen play a bad guy, all we wanted was to see him dance. Dance Ben Dance!!!!
This is like Ray Allen who has been totally miscast in his role with the Celtics. Allen is one of the premier transition three point shooters in the league and yet on Boston he has had to change his game to be more of a half court shooter, decoy, and defensive agitator. None of these are his strong suits. I give Allen credit for trying to fit in, but all he should be doing is dropping three pointers in an uptempo offense. Allen needs to focus solely on shooting like Ben Vereen should have only been dancing.
Match-up: If Ray Allen can play a little bit tough and pester Kobe on defense (again, we know this isn’t Allen’s best role) just enough to make Kobe work for his shots and maybe even get into Kobe’s head a little, that would be huge. The biggest thing though is if Allen can shoot like he did in the last two games vs. Detroit, this won’t be a complete domination by Kobe. While Phil Jackson may let Kobe play Rondo and let Fisher try to disrupt Ray Allen, a Ray Allen who is shooting well should narrow the shooting guard gap a bit. We all know Kobe is the best player in the league, but not by as much of a landslide as you think (unless Ray Allen ossifies again).
Result: Big advantage Lakers
Center Pau Gasol vs. Kendrick Perkins:
Most similar 1980s TV actor/character to Paul Gasol: Balki Bartokomous, Perfect Strangers: Many of you may have forgotten Perfect Strangers but it was a top rated show for 8 years (no joke) and was completely driven by the hijnks of Balki Bartokomous. Balki was a weirdo foreigner with a bizarre accent who always screwed things up but then managed to fix it by the end of the show and remain lovable. Regardless, Bronson Pinchot’s portrayal of Balki, and the show itself, is one of the most underrated phenomena of the 1980s.
Much like Balki, Gasol is foreign, has a funny accent, but more importantly he is the most underrated good player in the NBA. He can easily drop 20 points a night, grab 10 boards, and block 2 shots. He defense is incredibly overlooked and he has been in the top ten in blocked shots per game twice in his career. While he has been labeled as being soft, I disagree with that completely and think he is getting lumped in with other foreign players just because of the stereotype. Gasol led Spain to a gold medal in the FIBA World Championships in 2006 Championship, and you don’t do that by being weak.
Most similar 1980s TV actor/character to Kendrick Perkins: Bull from Night Court: Bull was big, bald, didn’t appear to be too bright, and was rarely central to the show. However, every once in awhile Bull would come through with a first rate zinger. This is similar to Perkins who is big, bald, doesn’t appear to be too bright (ok, I don’t know this for a fact but it works in keeping the parallelism of the sentence so let me make the assumption), and is rarely central to the Celtics. However, every once in awhile KPerk brings enough energy as to dominate. He killed the Pistons in Game 5 but then reverted back to his forgotten self in Game 6.
Match-up: Gasol should win this in a landslide unless Perkins can get overly physical, which is a possibility. Still, Gasol is too quick, too smooth, and too polished offensively to truly be bothered by Perkins. The Celtics need Perkins to attack the boards, continue to play great help defense, and stop all of his fucking whining (seriously I have never seen a player complain on every call the way Perkins does, it is enough already.).
Result: Advantage Lakers by Balki Bartokomous mile.
Small Forward Lamar Odom vs Paul Pierce:
Most similar 1980s TV actor/character to Lamar Odom: Denise Cosby/Lisa Bonet, the Cosby Show. The Cosby show started out as an ensemble cast, but quickly thereafter Denise jumped to the forefront. She became so well known that she was given her own spin-off called A Different World (while Lisa Bonet became so well known for showing off her Cosby Kids to the world in the Movie Angel Heart). Anyway, Denise soon became a second fiddle on A Different World, surpassed by Dwayne Wayne, Whitley, and Jalessa. The same thing happened with Odom who emerged as a star in Miami on a largely ensemble team and then has found a role as a second fiddle in LA where he was originally thought of as a star.
Most similar 1980s TV actor/character to Paul Pierce: Norm Peterson, Cheers: Just hear me out on this one. I believe that Cheers was the best show of the 1980’s and Norm was the most pivotal character. Sure Sam (a KG type figure) got all of the headlines but whenever the show needed a one-liner or real comic relief, you could always count on Norm (heck there are even sites devoted to his one-liners). Not only that, but when Sam needed to talk to someone about that annoying cunt Diane or the loon Rebecca, he sought out Norm’s advice. Norm was the go to guy on Cheers and Paul Pierce remains the go to guy on the Celtics. He can be immature at times (like Norm) but when the Celtics need to score, the ball goes to Pierce.
Match-up: Pierce is going to treat Lamar Odom like Mickey Rourke treated Lisa Bonet in the aforementioned Angel Heart. Odom is not quick enough or wide enough to stop Pierce. Pierce should be able to blow by him or just back him down. Defensively, Pierce has been more underrated than Jessica Biel. I don’t expect Odom to contribute much this series, much like he didn’t contribute anything in the two games against the Celtics earlier this year averaging only 9 points and 7 boards in the two head to head match-ups.
Result: Advantage Celtics, by more than even the Lakers advantage in Kobe over Ray Allen.
Power Forward: Vlad Radmanovic vs. Kevin Garnett:
Most similar 1980s TV actor/character to Vlad Radmanovic: Jennifer Keaton, Family Ties. Family Ties was one of the great forgotten shows of the 1980s and like a basketball team, featured five major characters (6 when they brought in Andy, but I am pretending that never happened). The show featured two stars, Alex P. Keaton and Elyse Keaton (mainly because of her phenomenal breasts, and by mainly, I mean solely. She defined 1980’s MILFdom and a heartfelt apology to all you Joanna Kearns fans but she was no Meredith Baxter-Birney) and two others, Mallory and Steven who also had their moments. However, Tina Yothers as Jennifer was simply awful. She was unattractive, not funny, and a horrible actress. In other words she was the Vlad Radmanovic of Family Ties. For the life of me I can not understand how Radmanovic is a starter in the NBA, much less a starter on a team in the Finals. He doesn’t do anything particularly well and does many things poorly (like pass and play defense). His game is uglier than Jennifer Keaton’s face, which I think says it all.
Most similar 1980s TV actor/character to Kevin Garnett: B.A. Baracus: Mr. T’s BA Baracus was the baddest mofo on the small screen in the ‘80s, nobody wanted to mess with him. This is much like the ultra intense Kevin Garnett in today’s NBA. However, BA had one huge achilles heel and that was his fear of flying. Every week the rest of the A-Team would have to knock BA out to get him on an airplane. How a big scary dude like that could be so scared of flying is beyond me.
Like flying to B.A., shooting/scoring in the clutch is KG’s achilles heel. He passes up more open 5 footers with under 5 minutes to go in the game than a fat girl passes up salads. How such an intense guy can turn into such a pussy on the offensive end in the clutch is beyond me, it really makes no sense, like Bad Attitude Baracus’ fear of flying.
Result: Big advantage Celtics, in more of a landslide than a wrestling match between Hulk Hogan and Verne Troyer.
Coaches Phil Jackson vs. Doc Rivers:
Most similar 1980s TV actor/character to Phil Jackson: Heathcliff Huxtable, Cosby Show: Dr. Huxtable was simply a winner. He was rich, he was a doctor, his kids largely stayed out of trouble, he was home 90% of the time, and he likely got to go jujy fruit blumpkin on Claire Huxtable at least once a week. It seems that whatever Dr. Huxtable did turned in to gold. Phil Jackson is the same way. He has won with Shaq and Kobe, Michael and Scottie, and now he is winning with Kobe and a bunch of other guys. You can’t put a label on what Jackson does as he is able to adapt his strategy, relate to players, and most of all motivate players and get them to buy into the team concept. Cliff Huxtable was the face of 1980s sitcoms an Phil Jackson is the face of modern NBA coaches.
Most similar 1980s TV actor/character to Doc Rivers: Tony Micelli (played by the aptly named Tony Danza) was an all around good guy, everybody liked him, and he even appeared to be a man’s man except for one glaring fact, he worked as a maid. No matter how likeable he was, you could not hide the fact that he spent his days washing underwear and baking cookies and thus he wasn’t a tough guy but rather an everyday house wife.
Doc Rivers is also an amiable good guy and people like him, but that doesn’t hide the reality that he is a bad coach. While the fourth quarter of Game 6 vs. the Pistons was the best quarter Doc ever coached, I have no faith that he doesn’t revert back to using Sam Cassell for 20 minutes a night and burying Leon Powe. It takes Doc Rivers two games to make adjustments which means the Celtics will be giving Phil Jackson a two game advantage.
Result: Big Advantage Lakers
The Benches:
Most similar 1980s TV actors/characters to The Lakers Bench: The Kids in The Hall:
The Kids in the Hall is one of the all-time great underrated comedy shows and what made it great is that there were no stars. One guy crushed people’s heads, one guy was Queen Elizabeth, and one guy sang about the Daves he knows. This is like the Lakers bench who all know their roles, fill them well, and don’t get a ton of credit.
Most similar 1980s TV actors/characters to The Celtics Bench: Head of the Class:
Head of the Class was a show that was incredibly bad but you always expected it to be better. It really was an abomination all around led by a cast that was way too big and featured a different cast member every show. The only thing the show had going for it was Robin Givens who was smoking hot and had absolutely no reason for being on this crappy sitcom.
This is like the Celtics bench who are really pretty poor and inconsistent (except for when Doc plays them in defined roles, like the entire regular season). The only thing the Celtics bench has going for them is the great James Posey who is the Robin Givens of the Boston reserves (and Posey has made big enough contributions to this Celtics team that many fans would choose to sleep with him over the hot Robin Givens).
Result: Advantage Lakers
So there we have it. Out of the seven match-ups we have three big advantages for the Lakers (sg, c, coach), two big advantages for the Celtics (sf, pf), one toss-up (pg), and one marginal advantage to the Lakers (bench).
So this series should be a lot closer than the experts are predicting.
Additionally, aside from the match-ups that I just walked through, the experts are completely off base in picking the Lakers merely because the Lakers have been consistent in the playoffs and the Celtics have been inconsistent. However, what experts are missing out on is that the Celtics have been inconsistent for three reasons:
1. No set rotation
2. Ray Allen ossified
3. Kendrick Perkins and Rajon Rondo are young
What the experts fail to realize is that Doc will hopefully be riding the starters more and thus mitigating his screwed up bench rotations, and Ray Allen appears to be back. So the high beta playoff Celtics should be getting more consistent and more consistent to their benefit.
I picked the Celtics to win it at the beginning of the playoffs (assuming Bynum was hurt) and I am going to stick to it because the Lakers just don’t have the defense to stop Pierce and Garnett and they haven’t run into any thing like Boston’s defense. I know the match-ups seemingly favor the Lakers, but Boston’s overall team game is just too much. You can’t measure a team solely by individual match-ups and I believe Boston has the team work, intangibles, and front court, to pull this series out.
Pick: Celtics in 7
NBA Finals Game 1 Pick:
LA Lakers at Boston -2.5:
Like I said above the Celtics are going to be more consistent and they are going to surprise the overconfident Lakers in Game 1. Boston’s defense is just too good and they are going to be so hyped up playing at home that this could be a late game blow out. As long as Ray Allen plays like Ray Allen and KG doesn’t blow blood vessel in his brain by being too excited, this is money in the bank.
NBA Finals Game 2 Pick:
First of all, you all need to just come out and admit that Paul Pierce is a man. Yeah, we know that the wheelchair may have been a little much, but they guy was hurt and he came back and shot dagger three pointers right in Kobe Bryant’s ear hole. The Lakers simply do not have the front court to stay with the Celtics.
Even though three of Boston’s biggest issues surfaced in Game 1 (Doc’s bad rotations with Sam Cassell almost killing the team in the 4th, KG’s inability to score in the 4th quarter by closing out the game 1-10, and Perkins and Rondo both being inconsistent with Perkins playing like a retarded retard), they still managed to pull out a victory thanks to Paul Pierce. KG was an animal in the first half, Ray Allen bothered Kobe just enough, PJ Brown played like he was 29 instead of 75, and the Lakers stopped hitting open shots. However, without Pierce channeling his inner Larry Bird, the Celtics lose.
So what about Game 2? I hate this game more than Rosie O’Donnell hates penis. Both Perkins and Pierce are injured and questionable for the game. As a result, the line has swung from Boston by 1 to Lakers by 1. Everything points to the Lakers stealing this game, everything. However, everything does not account for Pierce’s heart, KG’s intensity, and Rondo’s energy. Oh wait, everything does account for that, shit, the Celtics may be screwed.
Due to injuries, I can not accurately predict the outcome of the game so we’ll have to be betting the over/under today.
La Lakers at Celtics Under 190.5:
As already mentioned, the Celtics are suffering injuries to two of their starters while the Lakers are simply suffering injuries to Kobe’s huge ego. That said, this game will either be a Lakers blow out or a close hard fought game. Given that, I don’t see the Celtics breaking 90 points with a one-legged Pierce so unless you think this will be a Lakers blow out (15% chance), take the better odds and root for Kobe to go 9-30 this time.
Oh yeah, if Sasha Vujacic fucking whines about the rims in Boston being too tight and thus hurting his shot, the NBA should take away his tampons for a month. Hey Sasha, both teams are shooting on the same rims, razumeti pijetao ukrasi glave?
NBA Finals Game 3 Pick:
After two games, the Celtics have simply dominated the Lakers in all aspects of the game except for whining, playing soft, and ass raping hotel workers. We have learned several things so far during this series:
1. Putting Vlad Radmanovic on Paul Pierce is akin to using a finger to plug a dike (and I don’t mean this). Seriously, Paul Pierce is abusing Radmanovic so much that my prostate hurts. While Paul Pierce has stepped up and established himself as a clutch player and firmly put his name in the pantheon of all-time great Celtics, we have to wonder how much better Larry Bird, John Havlicek, or even Marc Acres would have been with Vlad the Failer covering them.
2. You can’t spell Lamar Odom without V-A-G-I-N-A. Ok, that’s not true but I am not the best speler in the world. The point is that Odom is continuing his regular season ineptitude against the Celtics by averaging 12 points and 7 rebounds in the first two games. Even Phil Jackson said Odom was lost out there. Odom is playing so soft that I believe Pau Gasol called him a pussy.
3. Leon Powe is a man. First of all, fuck Phil Jackson for continually mispronouncing Powe’s name. It’s easy to remember with this simple sentence, Leon was so po growing up he couldn’t afford the “w” and the “e.” Leon dominated the paint and the offensive glass in Game 2 like a young Peter North dominated the 1980s porn scene. I swear to god, jebus, moses, allah, and Robert Guillaume, that if some chick in Boston did not suck Leon’s dick after game 3, I will be sorely disappointed.
4. I’m not saying KG hates scoring in the clutch, but…. KG went 1-10 to close out Game 1 and then scored his last points in Game 2 with 8 minutes to go when he gave the Celtics a 24 point lead. Let’s just leave this one alone, but….
5. Kobe is going to kill one of his teammates or one of them is going to kill him. He yells at them constantly and they appear to have tuned him out somewhat, just ask Curt Schilling. If the Lakers lose Game 3, watch Kobe shoot 900 times in Game 4.
6. Ray Allen has been rejuvenated. I don’t know what happened to him in first 18 games of the playoffs but he is back. When he is on, the Celtics are almost impossible to beat.
7. Pau Gasol could dominate on offense but the Lakers stop feeding him. Gasol had one move in the first half of Game 2 where he simply destroyed KG down low. I have never seen Garnett get used like that on the defensive end, never. Seriously, nobody puts KG in a corner, except for Pau. The Lakers should just play two man offense with Kobe and Pau all day.
8. Sam Cassell is done and Boston fans are happy when he just doesn’t take anything off of the table. Nobody expects him to actually contribute, they just want him not to screw anything up. Why giving Eddie House a chance is not in Doc’s game plan is beyond me, but then again so is this Hannah Montana chick so what do I know.
Game 3:
Boston +9.5 at LA Lakers:
All we have seen so far this series is the Celtics impose their will on the Lakers due to their front court advantage, defensive intensity, and ability to attack the rim. However, the Celtics looked invincible against the Hawks after two games and then went to Atlanta and lost two games that shouldn’t have even been close.
Everyone knows the Lakers are going to get the calls in Game 3, everyone knows Kobe is going to try to go for 50, and everyone thinks this is going to be a Lakers blow out.
Thankfully, we here at Wagercom.com know that everyone is always wrong. When the masses weigh their opinions we get presidents like George W. Bush, we get top grossing movies like Transformers, and we get hit TV shows like Everybody Loves Raymond. You see the problem here with following the pack? The pack loses every time.
This is why you should take the Celtics. I thought the line was going to be 6, and at 8 points I was going to have to make a tough decision, but at 9.5, the choice is easy. I think there is a 13% chance the Celtics win, but they are not losing by more than 9.5, no way. Not with Paul Pierce playing with balls the size of Kobe’s ego and KG playing defense like Phil Jackson whines.
NBA Finals Game 4 Pick:
The best thing about Game 3 is that it is over and no one got hurt. Umm, actually, Rajon Rondo may be out for Game 4, so scratch that. How bad was Game 3? It was so bad that even with the NBA reeling due to game fixing allegations, the refs blew the whistle completely in favor of the home Lakers, something everyone in the media, general public, and penitentiaries around the country predicted before the game.
So here’s my question, if the whole world knew the refs were going to call a foul on the Celtics every time the wind blew on Kobe Bryant, how is the NBA not fixed? Seriously. I am disgusted with the NBA right now, absolutely disgusted.
Anyway, despite Paul Pierce playing like he drank three bottles of ripple, ate two boxes of Ding Dongs, and sat out in the sun for 25 straight hours, despite Kevin Garnett shooting a 6-21 including only 4 points in the fourth quarter (I’m just saying…..), despite Rajon Rondo spraining his ankle, and despite Doc Rivers letting Sam Cassell play like a retarded Kendrick Perkins for seven minutes, the Celtics had a chance to win in the end. It really was amazing, especially as Kobe went off and Sasha Vujacic played like Steve Kerr’s illegitimate gay son. That said, the Lakers did absolutely nothing to make me think they are a better team than the Celtics, nothing.
Boston +7.5 at LA Lakers:
Like I said, just about everything went wrong for the Celtics and just about everything went right for the Lakers (except for Lamar Odom continuing to play like a fat chick’s vagina and Pau Gasol proving me wrong and playing softer than a chunk of Tetilla).
For the Lakers to win Game 4, Kobe is going to need to go for 40+, at least one other Laker is going to need to step up Vujacic style, and two out of KG, Pierce, and Ray Allen are going to have to shit their pants like they are wearing two layers of depends. I don’t know many things (other than not to spit into the wind and always check for an adam’s apple) but I do know that Paul Pierce is not going to put up two shitty games in a row in the Finals. Pierce doesn’t roll like that. So as long as KG plays every quarter like it’s the first or Ray Allen plays like he has the last five games, the Celtics should not just cover, but win by double digits.
The only wild cards are Rajon Rondo’s ankle, the refs whistle blowing, and the Eddie House experience not getting a second shot.
If Rondo is out, all bets are off and then just take the over 191.5, but if he is healthy, take the Celtics, take the points, and watch Paul Pierce go off.
NBA Finals Game 5 Pick:
Wow. That is all I can really say about Game 4 which was one of the top three NBA Finals games of the past twenty years. After laughing and yukking it up to a 24 point lead (and yes I mean you Lamar Odom, the second half didn’t seem as funny as the first half, now did it?) the Lakers rolled over like 18 year old hotel workers being raped by a very bad man. The Lakers showed the lack of heart, teamwork, and cohesiveness that is endemic in Kobe Bryant led teams.
Due to the inspired play of Eddie House, the huge balls of James Posey, the rock solid inside work of PJ Brown, the defensive intensity of Kevin Garnett, the all-around effort of Ray Allen, and most importantly the leadership and determination of Paul Pierce, the Celtics rallied in the second half for the biggest comeback in NBA Finals history.
The game featured no less than five huge plays by the Celtics:
1. PJ Brown’s dunk at the end of the third quarter where he threw it down like he was still 32 years old and wearing the short shorts.
2. James Posey’s man sized falling away three pointer to cut the Laker lead to 1. I swear to Larry Bird that I am going to adopt both James Posey and Eddie House and have them call me Mr. Drummond. I don’t care how much money this costs, I am doing it. I am also going to hire Brian Scalabrine to be our maid and we are going to call him Mrs. Garrett, but I digress.
3. The rope a dope pull the chair out from under him defense of James Posey on Lamar “things are funny when we’re up 24” Odom. In the final minutes, Odom tried to post Posey up and while Odom was leaning on him, Posey simply took three steps backwards leading to an Odom travel. This is the oldest of playground moves which works maybe once every twenty times. Let it be known that Posey was playing with five fouls at the time and a pair of balls so big that he is not going to be wearing shorts for Game 5.
4. KG showing up in the fourth quarter and hitting an 8 foot turnaround jumper in the lane with two minutes to go while yelling “Choke on that Mother Fers!” (ok, he didn’t really yell that, but I am sure he was thinking it).
5. Ray Allen’s driving lay-up with 16 second to go. How the Lakers did not put him on his ass is beyond me. I have never seen that much of an uncontested lay-up with the game on the line, in a half court set. Never. Again, it was a half court set. Just unbelievable. I loved that Vujabitch cried after the game that he didn’t know what to do on defense since he kept getting called for fouls. That would be a great excuse except for the fact that he had only been called for three fouls, and he committed at least eight. Hey Sasha, go cry to your hair stylist.
Of course those five omit the Leon Powe banked in jumper, Paul Pierce’s block of Kobe, Eddie House’s 2 pointer to give the Celtics the lead, and Ray Allen’s reverse lay-up.
Finally, I guess we can all agree that Kobe is no MJ but more importantly we can now all see that he is no Paul Pierce. Paul Pierce volunteered to cover Kobe in the second half and shut him down when it counted while hitting a ton of shots of his own. Pierce completely outplayed Bryant in a head to head match-up and that is the Truth.
What an incredible game.
Boston +7 at LA Lakers:
I am shocked by this line, shocked. Can someone please let me know what in the past four games has led people to believe the Lakers are a 7 point better team than the Celtics? Really, what was it? Was it getting manhandled in two games in Boston? Was it barely winning game 3 when the refs were playing 6th man for LA and Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett stunk worse than a skunk’s ass after eating twelve day old nachos which had been sitting out in the sun and on which a homeless man peed? Or was it the blown 24 point lead in Game 4?
Seriously, how can the Lakers be favored by 7? I know the Celtics are going to be without Kendrick Perkins, but that actually works in Boston’s favor since he is too big and slow to be effective against the nimble (and by nimble I mean pussified) Lakers.
The Celtics have not only covered every game, but they are going to win Game 5 plain and simple. The only way the Lakers win is if the NBA really wants a Game 6 and has the refs revert back to their Game 3 form, which is a possibility. However, these Celtics are not 7 points worse than the Lakers, no way, no how. I just really don’t understand this line. Rather than getting 7, the Celtics should be favored by 5.
Take the Celtics, take the points, and watch Kobe chuck up shots and yell at his teammates. This is the Celtics game, there will be no denying it.
NBA Finals Game 6 Pick:
The Lakers lucked in to a Game 5 win for several reasons:
1. The normal fourth quarter disappearing act of Kevin Garnett (two crucial missed free throws, one missed put back, and several touches on offense without spinning to his left for lay-ups). Apparently KG is doing his best carry on legendary Celtic Bob Cousy’s famous moniker the “Houdini of the Hardwood” (though for all of the wrong reasons).
2. The refs letting Kobe “steal” the ball from Paul Pierce for a breakaway lay-up when the Celtics could have tied it (watch the replay, not one part of Kobe’s hand/arm/body touched the ball, in fact there was less ball touching than on a lesbian honeymoon)
3. The Celtics playing without a point guard thanks to Rajon Rondo deciding that five feet from the basket is too far away for him to shoot.
I do have to give credit to the Lakers though as Kobe came out smoking hot, they only choked but didn’t completely fold, and they were smart enough to realize that Jordan Farmar could abuse Eddie House and Sam Cassell like the old men that they are. So now we sit at 3-2 with Games 6 and 7 in Boston.
LA Lakers at Boston -4:
There are already potential problems with this. The Celtics’ plane had mechanical problems and is not due in until 2am Tuesday morning, Ray Allen apparently is dealing with family problems, Kendrick Perkins still has shoulder problems and is questionable, and Rajon Rondo still has depth perception problems (hence passing up open lay-ups to pass out for three pointers).
This is a winnable game for LA due to all of Boston’s issues, however, even though he is playing at 80% at best, Paul Pierce is still 100% man. Pierce was unstoppable in Game 5, especially when the Celtics went to the high pick and roll which let Pierce just abuse every non-Kobe Laker like they were Colorado hotel workers. If the Celtics keep running this play, they should be able to score enough to make up for the fact that their defense suffers without Kendrick Perkins (assuming Kperk can’t play).
Add in the home crowd which should fire up Rondo (who I am predicting a huge game out of), Eddie House, and James “all man” Posey, and it has the potential for being a long night for LA. If the Celtics get rolling early, watch out. Of course that is a big if due to their injuries and issues.
That said, the Lakers can’t win this game, the Celtics can only lose it and because of that, we’re taking the Celtics and giving the points (and not just because the Celtics are 5-0 against the spread in the Finals). So take the Celtics and light up a cigar for Arnold “Red” Auerbach as banner 17 is in reach.
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