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AC TITTICOCK'S WEEKLY FREE NBA BASKETBALL PICKS AND WINNERS
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AC's Wagercom 2009-2010 NBA Picks Season Record
Wins: 43 Losses: 43 Ties: 2
NBA Picks Winning Percentage: 50%
Contact AC at ac(at sign)wagercom.com or post your questions/comments on the Wagercom Message Board
Read AC's Bio
AC's outlook on the NBA is an entertaining original column featured here at Wagercom. If you are prone to NBA betting or even just an NBA fan, make sure you come back often to read his articles and free NBA Basketball picks against the spread. AC will be providing us with a weekly outlook during the basketball season including free NBA Basketball picks on some of the weekend games each Friday and Saturday.
Our NBA expert AC has had 6 consecutive winning seasons picking NBA games against the spread making you money including the VIG. AC does this out of the kindness of his heart and for the naked pictures of your girlfriends you send him as a token of your appreciation. So enjoy the columns and the picks..
AC'S FREE NBA PICKS AND COLUMN WEEK 11:
The NBA is approaching the annual midseason doldrums where injuries rack up, indifference seeps in, and Vince Carter’s vaginitis flares up. With an 82 game schedule, usually games 35ish through 55ish are when players spend more time thinking about clubbing, how to avoid the cold weather in the East, whether Voltaire was really all that enlightened, and why Hannah Hilton retired. Given this lull in the season, AC is here to provide you with his annual senryus for each team. For those readers who haven’t brushed up on their Japanese poetry (and there will be a test next week), a senryu is like a haiku only with a fuckload more swearing and none of that seasons and nature crap. This week AC drops his poetry on the Eastern Conference and next week he’ll hit up the West.
Eastern Conference Senryus:
Atlanta Hawks:
Defeated Boston
Two times already this year
Still can’t beat the Cavs
Boston Celtics:
Garnett’s knee is fine
Just ask Ainge, Rivers, or Wyc
Or KG on bench
Charlotte Bobcats:
Traded for Steve Jax
Doubled the number of fans
Now ten people show
Chicago Bulls:
Bulls fan lamenting
Their coach can not coach offense
Explains Ty Thomas
Cleveland Cavaqueers:
LeDong James should hope
Shaquille doesn’t get hungry
Could lose arm or leg
Detroit Pistons:
Franchise in decline
Lost eleven in a row
“Bad” boys new meaning
Indiana Pacers:
Many injuries
And Jim O’Braindead as coach
The team has no chance
Miami Heat:
Wade carries the team
While Beasley and M. Chalmers
Carry the ganja
Milwaukee Bucks:
Jennings is a stud
But pitfalls of fame to come
Uchitels swarming
New Jersey Nets:
Just three fucking wins?
You have to be kidding me.
Re-fire the coach
New York Knicks:
Will they sign LeDong?
D’wyane Wade, Chris Bosh, Joe Johnson?
This season a joke
Orlando Magic:
Hide the women and children
Danger sitting near the court
Dwight shooting hook shots
Philadelphia 76ers:
More people go see
Dane Cook’s new movie premieres
Than Sixers home games
Toronto Raptors:
Team so full of shit
That colonoscopy bags
Can’t even help them
Washington Wizards:
Glibert Arenas
Giving new definition
To term “bang bang play”
Friday NBA Free Picks:
As the brilliant Western philosopher Big Daddy Kane once opined: “It’s Friday night, ain’t a damn thing funny. Bitch better have my money.”
And so it is on this Friday night we approach the NBA slate without a smile, but with a serious visage as we’re not fucking around and warn the NBA that they better make us some money. If not, we have Gilbert Arenas on speed dial.
Orlando -7 at Washington: It is possible that the Wizards band together without Arenas but there are two factors likely making this unlikely.
1. They sucked with him.
2. Randy Foye is taking his spot and if not for Allen Ray, Randy Foye would be the worst player from Villanova ever to play in the NBA. There is no way to sugar coat this, but Foye sucks at basketball.
On the other hand, the Magic can be lackadaisical at times as Vince Carter takes a night off every now and then so as not to ruin his manicure. This game is either a Magic 20 point blow out or a Magic 5 point win, with the odds of a blow out being about the same as Tiger Woods having herpes, so a 65%ish chance. Take Orlando and hope none of your lady friends ever nailed Tiger.
Boston +3 at Atlanta:
No KG, an ailing Rondo, a rounding back into form Pierce, and a team that has absolutely no fear of Boston. All of those reasons point to an Atlanta victory and yet they all point to why the Hawks will be overconfident and why Boston can sneak one out here. Sure the Hawks athleticism gives Boston fits, but there is no stopping Rondo when he is into a game and he looked to turn a major corner the other night with a dominating overtime performance against the Heat. Boston has the best road record in the NBA at 14-4 and should come out fired up tonight. Take the Celtics and root for Eddie House to be over his flu and to come out firing.
Dallas at San Antonio Under 195.5:
The Spurs have finally started playing well and the Mavericks have been playing well all year. This game should have playoff intensity to it and playoff intensity equals low scoring. Take the under and hope it doesn’t go into OT.
LA Lakers -3 at Portland:
Yep, AC is taking three of the four best teams in the NBA, all on the road. It is a dangerous proposition and not for the new gambling addicts. Not to be overly technical, but the fact remains that the Lakers are what great basketball strategists like John Wooden and Red Auerbach liked to call “really fucking good.” The Blazers just have too many injuries and those eventually have to catch up to them. Plus LA has been playing worse on the road than Helen Keller played “Hide and Seek.” I know Gasol is likely out, but Bynum goes off when he is the lone big man and he should have a big game against the aged Juwan Howard. Take LA, think about running a trifecta with LA-Orlando-Boston, and enjoy the free cash as you guzzle the Dom tonight.
Saturday Free NBA Picks:
Every so often AC will have a night like last night, but don’t think for one instant that he takes it lightly. You see last night, AC went 0 and 4 for the first time all year and the only the second time in two years. To say it is embarrassing is like saying Michael Jackson had a bit of a skin problem or Alexis Texas has just a bit of junk in her trunk (and for the record, AC would fill that trunk with so much luggage he would have to pay for the extra bags). You see, AC is not just embarrassed but he is humiliated to the point where he couldn’t even look his lady friend in the eye this morning as she was giving him his wake-up hummer.
After the Lakers sealed the winless night with a fourth quarter effort somewhere between malaise and clinically brain dead, AC limped off to bed forgoing his usual Friday night beverages at the local Rick’s Cabaret. But it didn’t end there. Nope, nightmares invaded AC’s usual placid and re-energizing sleep. He saw each one of Jamal Crawford’s out of his ass three pointers which sunk the Celtics, he relived each one of Dirk Nowitzki’s 3s in a 42 point Dallas fourth quarter which allowed the Mavs-Spurs to hit the over, and he tossed and turned to the Orlando Magic forgetting to show up in Washington for their game. It was a restless sleep, one that had AC crying out in the middle of the night to make the bad men go away, but alas, only the gentle crowing of the morning cock (and the gentle growing of his morning cock) was able to snap him out of his night of despair.
This can not and will not happen again. AC takes these picks more seriously than Ben Bernanke takes the economy, more seriously than Admiral Michael Mullen takes national defense, and more seriously than Jenna Jameson takes fellatio. So tonight we will win back that lost money so AC can finally get some sleep.
Philadelphia +5 at Detroit:
The Pistons have lost 11 games in a row. They haven’t won since Tiger Woods was still married and since Gilbert Arenas was just kind of a goofy guy. Obviously they are going to win sometime, as they are a marginally average team, and they may well win tonight, but 5 points is a lot to give, especially to a Philadelphia team that is playing a bit frisky with Allen Iverson and Lou Williams back. This game should be close regardless of the winner so we’ll take the five points and root for Thaddeus Young to go off.
Indiana at Oklahoma City Over 205.5:
Granger and Troy Murphy are back and the Pacers play defense like Dexter Manley reads. While the Thunder have been in a bit of a scoring drought as of late, Durant can go for 40 by himself so in order to win we just need Green, Westbrook, and the rest of the team to score 70. This is going to come down to the wire and while it is tempting to take the Pacers and the 8.5 points, stick with the over and enjoy the shootout.
Minnesota +8.5 at Chicago:
The TerribleWolves™ are coming off of a win last night, so it means they will probably revert to their mean. Lucky for us, their mean is not 8.5 points worse than the Bulls. The Bulls are doing their best to prove what every NBA fan other than Gar Forman knows, and that is that Vinny Del Negro sucks at coaching. His offensive schemes are so dreadful, even Stevie Wonder is said to have drawn up plays for him to use. The Bulls will probably win this game, but not by 8.5.
Denver -1 at Sacramento:
Yeah, AC knows, Denver is more banged up than a hooker after a night with Chris Brown. Melo may or may not play and Chauncey Billups is just coming back, so the Nuggets are nowhere near full strength. Plus Denver is coming off of a big win vs. Cleveland last night and had to travel to Sactown without getting much rest. So why is AC taking the Nuggets here? Simple, the Kings are falling to Earth faster than a Melmacian space ship. They have won one of their last eight games and that game just happened to be against Denver and as NBA betting rule number 7 tells us, bad teams don’t beat good teams twice in a row in a two week period. It just doesn’t happen. Take the Nuggets and be ecstatic if Melo plays but be more ecstatic if your winnings buy you that blumpkin you so rightly deserve.
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