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AC TITTICOCK'S WEEKLY FREE NBA BASKETBALL PICKS AND WINNERS
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AC's Wagercom 2008-2009 NBA Picks Season Record
Wins: 122 Losses: 93 Ties: 2
NBA Picks Winning Percentage: 57%
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AC'S NBA 2009 NBA DRAFT RECAP AND ANALYSIS:
There was a frenzy of NBA action this week culminating in the always entertaining NBA draft. In the days leading up to the draft the Spurs jumped to the front of the “favorite to win the 2009-2010 title” line by trading for Richard Jefferson and his stone hands, but they were quickly followed by the Cavs acquiring Shaq and the Magic reaching for Vince Carter and his oft swollen vagina. There hasn’t been this much action in the NBA since halftimes in the Showtime Lakers’ locker room in 1984.
As if the trades leading up to the draft weren’t enough, on the day of the draft Farrah Fawcett took it in the pooper for the last time (no seriously, you get ass cancer from getting it in the ass, I promise I am not making that up) and pop legend Michael Jackson finally beat it.
It was a life altering week for many and while this year’s draft had all the suspense of Lexington Steele in a cock off (since the talent level was worse than in a Rob Schneider movie), AC is here to break it down for you as always. And more than anything, I promise no rambling speeches like David Stern did to open the Draft.
Round 1:
1. Blake Griffin - LA Clippers: I guess Griffin is the only sure thing in the draft according to most but the only sure thing about Griffin is that he is going to LA. While Griffin is a great athlete, it’s not clear he is a basketball player. At times he plays like a bull in a china shop and seems to lack basketball instincts. I could mention that he measured out the same or worse than Tyler Hansbrough in the pre-draft camp, but that might be more than Clipper fans could take since everyone claims Hansbrough is not athletic enough and his arms are too short (and of course Griffin has a shorter reach and wingspan). Anyway, Griffin will probably deliver 70% of the offense of Michael Beasley, 120% of the defense, and 1% of the flakiness. In any other year he would have been a mid-lottery pick, but hey, at least his knees are healthy.
2. Hasheem Thabeet – Memphis Grizzlies: Grizzlies fans (or is it Grizzlies fan?) hope Thabeet turns into Dikembe Mutombo but they really better hope he doesn’t turn into Ben Gillery. I actually like Thabeet as a defender and think he can be a decent center in the league, like a taller Emeka Okafor with a worse offensive game (and yes it is possible to have a worse offensive game than Emeka Okafor, just ask Patrick O’Bryant). Even though Chris Wallace made this pick so it will likely be awful, Thabeet was a decent enough risk at #2 in this draft.
3. James Harden – Oklahoma City Thunder: The Thunder surprised a lot of people by drafting for need, rather than for talent. They need a scoring wing, even if uber prospect Ricky Rubio might have given them more upside. That said, Harden has major bust potential in the NBA. His game is often described as old school (and not just his attire as he rocked the really old school bow tie at the draft) and old school is code for slow and unathletic. I can count all of the successful slow and unathletic six foot four forwards on exactly no fingers and no toes. In his last three games this year, including two in the tournament, Harden scored 10, 9, and 10 points. The upside comparison often used for Harden is Paul Pierce but it is just as likely that he is what would happen if Shawn Respert and Danny Ferry had a kid.
4. Tyreke Evans – Sacramento Kings: Little known fact, Tyreke Evans’ cousin was just sentenced to 9 to 20 years in jail for a drive-by shooting in which Tyreke was DRIVING THE CAR. Seriously, how is Evans not in jail? This is just amazing to me. Evans has all of the talent in the world but so did Chris Washburn, William Bedford, and Michael Ray Richardson. I am going on record as saying this is going to end badly. Not only does Evans have a checkered past, but he has no position. He doesn’t pass well enough to be a point guard and he doesn’t shoot well enough to be a shooting guard. If things work out he’s basically Rodney Stuckey and if they don’t work out, he’s serving 10 to 20. At least he’s going to Sacramento where there is no gang problem.
5. Ricky Rubio – Minnesota Terriblewolves™: First of all, put aside that he doesn’t want to play in Minnesota and that he has an exorbitant contract to buy out from Menudo before he even comes to the NBA. Then put aside that he currently has a waifish build and is probably still a couple of year away from maturing. Barring all of that, this kid has upside. I mean he has an uncanny resemblance to Pete Maravich and when you look like someone, you should be able to play like them, right? Anyway, Rubio has a ton of value right now as one of the few potential stars in this draft so good job by the Terriblewolves™ in picking him up, even if it was just to trade him. I mean who were they supposed to draft at #5, Johnny Flynn?
6. Johnny Flynn – Minnesota Terriblewolves™: In the last 20 years there have been exactly 3 players taken in the top 6 picks who were Johnny Flynn’s height or shorter. One was a once in a generation physical freak in Allen Iverson. One was one of the all-time great college players in Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf nee Chris Jackson. And one was marginal NBA player and NCAA champion point guard Raymond Felton. The point is, players of Johnny Flynn’s height rarely make it in the NBA unless they are once in a lifetime players like Iverson or do one thing better than anyone else, like scoring for Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf. This is why short players aren’t taken in the top 6 picks, they’re just very infrequently successful. Statistically, Johnny Flynn has more of a chance of getting a blumpkin from Bea Arthur (and remember, Bea Arthur is dead) than he does of being an all-star NBA player at barely six feet tall. I watched a number of Syracuse games this year and at no point did I say, “wow, that guy is going to be a great pro” or “wow, Johnny Flynn is easily the best player on the court.”
Not only is Flynn unlikely to succeed because of his size, but the Terriblewolves™ drafted Rubio one spot ahead of him. Drafting a questionable point guard right after taking Rubio is like ordering canned tuna after having sushi dinner at Nobu or banging Lindsay Lohan’s manly looking lesbian friend after banging Lindsay Lohan. It just doesn’t make sense. The Wolves fired McHale, right?
7. Stephen Curry – Golden Shower State Warriors: There are all sorts of rumors that Curry will be traded to Phoenix but either way this was a great pick. I love Stephen Curry in ways that actually make me question my sexuality. Everyone knows Curry can shoot, but he is also a tremendous passer. If he had been playing with other top level players instead of the players at Davidson, he would be known as more of an all around player but due to his teammates’ weaknesses, he had to take the scoring burden on himself. While I love Curry, he may never be an all-star, but worst case scenario he’s Eddie House with the ability to dribble and that is good enough for being a solid rotation player for years. In this draft, getting a solid rotation/starter is huge.
I do have to give the one caveat to my embarrassing man crush on Curry, I also loved JJ Redick coming out of college, so as always, what do I know?
8. Jordan Hill – New York Knicks: I don’t know who knows less about Jordan Hill, me or the English department at the University of Arizona. In his post-draft interview, Hill butchered the English language worse than Willaim Archibald Spooner after a stroke. JJ Hickson who went 19th last year is three times the player Jordan Hill is so Knicks fans were right to boo this pick. But hey, the last time the Knicks selected a power forward at #8 they took Channing Frye, so um, they’ve got that going for them.
9. DeMar DeRozan – DeToronto DeRaptors: I may know less about DeMar DeRozan thant I do about Jordan Hill. DeRozan averaged 14 points and 6 rebounds as a freshman but really seemed to step up his game at the end of the season. I am slightly intrigued by this pick because Jerry Colangelo usually does a nice job in the draft, but it will probably be at least three years before DeRozan does anything.
10. Brandon Jennings – Milwaukee Bucks: Put me down as being excited for the Brandon Jennings era. Jennings is a mix of Stephon Marbury, Sebastian Telfair, and Hot Sauce from the And1 tour. I love that he called out Ricky Rubio before the draft, I love that he gave the middle finger to the stupid one year of college NBA requirement by going to Europe, and I love that he didn’t show up until after he was drafted to avoid being the last man in the green room. Jennings clearly gets it, and by “it,” I mean what is best for him. He is completely out for himself which is probably not the best characteristic you want in a point guard but it should provide many hours of entertainment for the rest of us. I only lament that he will be relegated to NBA purgatory by playing in Milwaukee. I actually like this pick as he has more upside than anyone left on the board.
11. Terrence Williams – New Jersey Nets: The most NBA ready skill that Terrence Williams possesses is that he already has two kids. A supposed decent defender with a nose for rebounds, Williams’ may have trouble staying on the court considering he shot 43% from the floor in his best season in college. In fact, he shot below 40% from the floor in each of his first two years at Louisville. Basically, the Nets just drafted a potential defensive stopper at #11. Yawn.
12. Gerald Henderson – Charlotte Bobcats: Henderson went from being a career underachiever at Duke to being a sort of achiever in his last year. A top high school player when he entered college, Henderson rarely lived up to the hype. He’s athletic and can do a little bit of everything, but it’s not clear what exactly he does well other than run and jump. He probably has a future as a defensive rotation player in the league unless he finally learns how to shoot. I guess it’s a decent pick here but when is Charlotte going to learn that drafting players who played college in North Carolina really doesn’t make any difference at the gate? Why are the lessons of JR Reid so easily forgotten?
13. Tyler Hansbrough – Indiana Pacers: First of all, ESPN showed weaknesses for every draft pick and for Hansbrough it said “Pigmentation” (ok, I may have made that up). While I have always maintained his arms are too short to play in the NBA, his reach and wingspan were surprisingly similar to Blake Griffin and he tested out way above expectations in pre-draft workouts. I’m not going to crap on Hansbrough for likely being a bust, he may be a decent rotation guy and it’s not like the Pacers were passing on Karl Malone here. The good thing about going to Indiana for Hansbrough is that with Roy Hibbert on the team, he won’t be their slowest guy and with Jeff Foster on the team, he won’t be their whitest.
14. Earl Clark – Phoenix Suns: Congratulations Phoenix, you just drafted Derrick Coleman with 60% of the talent. As DC would say, “Whoop De Dam Doo.” That said, Phoenix is probably a good place for a tweener like Earl Clark to land because their system emphasizes running and scoring, both of which Clark can do. Actually, he’s kind of like an American Boris Diaw in that he doesn’t always seem to try and his talent way outshines his production. However, Clark is one of the higher beta players in the draft so at #14, not a bad risk since there is upside potential.
15. Austin Daye – Detroit Pistons: Austin Daye is so skinny, he hula hoops with a cheerio. Austin Daye is so skinny, when he turns sideways, he disappears. Austin Day is so skinny, Ethopians donate food to him. Austin Daye is so skinny, his pants only have one leg hole. Austin Daye is so skinny, he was the cover shot on the book “Bulimia for Success.”
As an aside, with two sons of former Celtic bench players taken in the top 15 picks (Austin Daye and Gerald Henderson), one can only imagine David Thirdkill’s son anxiously waiting by his phone.
16. James Johnson – Chicago Bulls: The Bulls look to the fill their hole at power forward where they currently have Ty Thomas who never saw a rim he couldn’t break with his shot. Johnson shot a high percentage in college which is like the anti-Ty Thomas and he appears to be a decent athlete. Plus he is a black belt in karate (and writers are obligated to put that in any story about him, and yes I am a writer), so when things don’t work out, he’ll have something to fall back on (that is fall back on and beat the crap out of).
17. Jrue “The Damaja” Holiday – Philadelphia 76ers: The Sixers pass up two better point guards (Ty Lawson and Eric Maynor) for a guy who was moved to shooting guard because he couldn’t beat out Darren Collison and then scored to the tune of a whooping 8.5 points per game (and I am told that that tune is Entry of the Gladiators). Holiday was the top rated high school player two years ago so maybe he has talent, but he’s years away from contributing, just like I am years away from figuring out how to pronounce Jrue. He does win the annual last guy in the green room pool, so all of you who had Jrue, congratulations.
18. Ty Lawson – Denver Nuggets: I liked him better when he was named Ray Felton, and Ray Felton isn’t even all that good. It seems we have been through this before in this draft but the success rate of guards under six feet tall is very slim. Winding up with Nuggets (in a draft day trade with Minnesota) is a good spot for Lawson as he can learn the point guard spot behind Chauncey Billups. Denver just better hope he doesn’t follow other undersized national championship winning point guards Khalid El-Amin and Mateen Cleaves. The NBDL is watching.
19. Atlanta Hawks – Jeff Teague: The second player taken in the top twenty of this draft from an overrated Wake Forest team gets picked here by the Hawks. Wake Forest lost in the first round to Cleveland State despite having two top twenty guys (Teague and Johnson), even though neither one of them was the best player on that team (the best player was Al-Farouq Aminu). Color me unimpressed with this pick, unless unimpressed is a shade of orange because I ain’t no pumpkin.
20. Eric Maynor – Utah Jazz: Maynor has been so underrated that he was becoming overrated but this is a really nice pick for the Jazz. Maynor has played well in big games, he has hit big shots against good competition, and he is the rare point guard in this draft who is actually over six feet tall. At a minimum he can play Howard Eisley to Deron Williams’ John Stockton and that is a great pick here at #20. The Sixers may be kicking themselves for passing up Maynor for Holiday, that is if they are done kicking themselves for signing Elton Brand last year.
21. Darren Collison – New Orleans Hornets: They already have Chris Paul so it’s not clear to me what the point is in drafting a PG, especially one who is not very good. Oh well, I guess they couldn’t pass, but then again neither can Collison. Oh, drum shot please.
22. Victor Claver – Portland: The Blazers have done a nice job drafting Euros so maybe they will have something here in a few years. I will point out that the track records of guys named Victor is not very good in the NBA (Victor Alexander, Viktor Khryapa, and Victor Page who never quite made it, nor did his eye).
23. Omri Casspi – Sacramento Kings: Le Chaim! Not since Danny Schayes retired in 1999 have my people (and yes, AC is semitic) had an NBA player. Sure Jordan Farmar is kind of a Jew, but not by birth so his NBA presence was somewhat of a pyrrhic victory for my people. Casspi will be the first Israeli to play in the NBA which means somewhere Nadev Henefeld and Lior Arditi are dancing the horah.
24. B.J. Mullens – Oklahoma City Thunder: Drafted by the Mavericks but immediately traded to the Thunder, B.J. Mullens promises to be the biggest bust in this year’s draft. I may even call him Dolly Parton because he is going to be such a colossal bust. This seven footer was invisible on the court for most of his freshman season at OSU, even getting pushed around by the lowly Northwestern Wildcats’ front line. It is bizarre that the Thunder keep picking no talent big men like Saer Sene, Johan Petro, and Robert Swift. You can now add Mullens to that list as B.J. will be lucky to be the white Patrick O’Bryant.
25. Rodrigue Beaubois – Dallas Mavericks: Beaubois is coming off a season where he averaged 8 points a game playing in France. Even using the metric system, that isn’t very good. C’est la vie.
26. Taj Gibson – Chicago Bulls: First of all, Taj Gibson recently turned 24 even though he just finished his junior year. That is remarkable. What is also remarkable is that his stats have basically been the same for all three of his years in college. So he’s coming into his prime and has not improved one bit from being a marginal player and the Bulls already have the better version of him in Ty Thomas (who they want to replace with James Johnson anyway). Perhaps the Bulls should have just taken a mulligan.
27. DeMarre Carroll – Memphis Geizzlies: We’ve had a DeMar and now a DeMarre, surely D’Mar can’t be far behind. Either way, you have to wonder about a pick when the first thing commentators say about him is that he will eventually need a liver transplant. He will now become the second current NBA player who needs a new organ, Tony Allen being the other as he awaits his brain transplant. By all accounts this guy is a bruiser who can play defense, but by those same accounts he was drafted by Chris Wallace which means he will either suck or get traded to another team.
28. Wayne Ellington – Minnesota Terriblewolves™: I was all set to make the obligatory Rashad McCants jokes (since he and Wayne Ellington are the same player, from the same school, both drafted in the last five years in the first round by Minnesota) and then a picture of Wayne Ellinton and his girlfriend showed up, and then another one. We here at wagercom.com take our jimmy hats off to Wayne. He will always be a great first round draft pick in my book just for her.
29. Toney Douglas – New York Knicks: The Knicks spent $3MM to buy this pick from the Lakers and then used it on a six foot one guard with no special skill. If you’re going to throw away $3MM, at least spend it on this or some of these.
30. Christian Eyenga – Cleveland Cavaliers: I would be remiss not to thank Danny Ferry here for this pick. By passing up DeJuan Blair and Sam Young for a guy whose highlight film featured him playing in half filled high school gymnasiums, Ferry caused Dick Vitale’s head to explode. It is always my favorite part of the draft. When Vitale goes on his anti-euro/high school, pro-four year college player rant, it is scintillating television. A mere twenty minutes after this pick Vitale did not disappoint by railing against these unknowns while raving about DeJuan Blair being the steal of the draft despite Blair’s knees having less cartilage than Mark Sanford has dignity. As for Eyenga, he just played on a second division Spanish team so I am going out on a limb here but I am pretty sure this will be the last time I ever have to type the name Christian Eyenga.
Round 2: As always, this is the speed round, two sentences or fewer.
31. Jeff Pendergraph – Portland Trailblazers: Strange pick for the Blazers as Pendergraph is neither Euro nor good. Plus they traded a future pick and Sergio Rodriguez to get him.
32. Jermaine Taylor – Houston Rockets: Daryl Morey loves to use statistics to evaluate players and the one stat that stands out for Taylor is that he scored 25 points per game. The other interesting statistic is that he has never been in my kitchen.
33. Dante Cunningham – Portland Trailblazers: Imagine Richard Jefferson but about 60% as good and you get the NBDL’s potential first team all-rookie in Dante Cunningham.
34. Sergio Llull – Houston Rockets: The Rockets buy another pick and take a Spanish playmaker who averaged 8 points and 3 assists per game overseas. Plus not only does he have a palindromic last name, but it has more Ls in it than there are in downtown Chicago.
35. DaJuan Summers – Detroit Pistons: A mediocre college player goes to a now mediocre NBA team and gets a mediocre write-up from me.
36. Sam Young – Memphis Grizzlies: A stroke of genius as drafting 24 year old Sam Young will give the young Grizzlies the veteran leadership they need. Screw free agents, drafting old players is Chris Wallace’s new strategy as Wilfred Brimley anxiously awaits his Memphis summer league non-roster invitation.
37. DeJuan Blair – San Antonio Spurs: The biggest faller of the draft goes to the Spurs which is just about the best fit for both. The Spurs need a rebounder and while Blair is only six foot six and, as mentioned previously, is missing something called knee cartilage, he can go get it.
38. Jon Brockman – Sacramento: Brockman is the big white stiff of the draft as he is a smaller and worse Bryant “Big Country” Reeves. I wonder if he’ll ride shotgun with fellow Kings’ rookie Tyreke Evans driving (pun intended with shotgun).
39. Jonas Jerebko – Detroit Pistons: Jerebko, who is from Sweden, was at the draft and he looked like he has played on John Amaechi’s team at some point in time if you get my drift. Perhaps even partaking in a Swedish butler.
40. Derrick Brown – Charlotte Bobcats: I don’t know much about Derrick Brown but I will continue to be under whelmed by six foot nine guys who average six rebounds a game in college while playing in sub par conferences.
41. Jodie Meeks – Milwaukee Bucks: I like this pick here. The Bucks are going to need someone to fill in for Michael Redd at practice given how injury prone Redd is.
42. Patrick Beverley – Miami Heat: ESPN informed us that Beverley won the Ukranian slam dunk contest last year, and I am not making that up. I wonder if that is more or less impressive than winning best programmer at Amish computer camp or winning tallest person at a Little People of America convention.
43. Marcus Thornton – New Orleans Whorenets: We’re at the point in the recap where I wonder whether anyone is still reading this, and that includes Mr. and Mrs. Thornton.
44. Chase Budinger – Houston Rockets: Those pesky Rockets trade for this pick and then select the guy the Bucks drafted at #8 last year who somehow re-entered the draft. A good pick up by Morey.
45. Nick Calathes – Minnesota Terriblewolves™: Minnesota drafts their third point guard of the night but luckily for them, Calathes has no chance of making the team. The move does serve to further antagonize current starting point guard Sebastian Telfair who Minnesota apparently hates as much as Paris Hilton hates underwear.
46. Danny Green – Cleveland Cavaliers: The Cavs draft the 2009 version of Rick Fox in a nice pick up here. They just better hope Green doesn’t turn it over as frequently as Fox did and they better hope to have a full supply of Ritalin just in case he does.
47. Henk Norel – Minnesota Terriblewolves™: Minnesota fired McHale, right? The positive is that they didn’t draft a point guard while the negative is they drafted a guy who just put up five points and two rebounds a game in Spain.
48. Taylor Griffin – Phoenix Suns: The Suns now have Taylor Griffin and Robin Lopez and apparently will have Jermaine Jackson sing the national anthem on opening night. Perhaps next year they will also draft Kobe Bryant’s worse brother, Krappy Bryant.
49. Sergiy Gladyr – Atlanta Hawks: I’ve got nothing on this one, absolutely nothing. You all know Michael Jackson died, right?
50. Goran Suton – Utah Jazz: Utah doesn’t disappoint by taking a big white stiff. Thank you for this Utah, thank you, it’s good to know the classics never go out of style.
51. Jack McClinton- San Antonio: Another nice pick by the Spurs as McClinton can flat out fill it up. This guy is so good at putting points on the board, he could even score with Elen Degeneres.
52. A.J. Price – Indiana Pacers: The Pacers picked up the worse and kleptomaniac version of Marcus Williams, which is a bad thing on so many different levels (one of them being that Marcus Willams has been an awful pro). The front office just better lock their computer room.
53. Nando De Colo – San Antonio Spurs: Come on now, I am not falling for this. I believe there is a Nando De Colo as much as I believe there is a Keyser Soze.
54. Robert Vaden – Oklahoma City Thunder: Another 24 year old who only played three years of college. It is nice though to go from second round pick to qualifying for the NBA pension in the same year.
55. Patrick Mills – Portland Trailblazers: I like this pick, just not for the Blazers who already have more point guards than Saturday Night Live has unfunny sketches (seriously, did they just do away with writers ten years ago?). Mills could either be the next Elliot Perry or surfing on Bondi Beach next year, but a nice gamble at #55.
56. Ahmad Nivins – Dallas Mavericks: Nivins is supposed to be softer than Dairy Queen ice cream and even softer than Carmen Kinsley’s ample buttocks. He’s so soft he is going to make Dirk Nowitzki look like Ron Artest.
57. Emir Preldzic - Phoenix Suns: Little known fact but “Emir” is Slovenian for “slow” and “Preldzic” is Slovenian for “white guy.”
58. Lester Hudson – Boston Celtics: Lester did not initially graduate high school or junior college which makes him the second most famous dummy named Lester. Still undetermined is whether or not Willie Tyler will be attending Celtics pre-season camp.
59. Chinemelu Elonu – LA Lakers: No word on whether Chinemelu’s brothers are named Neckemelu, Earemelu, and Craniumemelu (seriously, any of you have anything better for this?).
60. Robert Dozier – Miami Heat: Mr. Irrelevant this year is Robert Dozier which is really faint praise because with the lack of talent, this whole draft should have been titled irrelevant.
So there you have it. One of the worst NBA drafts in history with maybe four to five starters and two potential all-stars (Griffin and Rubio). This was definitely the lowlight to one of the busiest weeks in NBA history but the 2010 draft is fewer than 365 days away so let the excitement begin.
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