AC TITTICOCK'S WEEKLY FREE NBA BASKETBALL PICKS AND WINNERS

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10/31/04 2004-2005 NBA SEASON PREVIEW

AC's outlook on the NBA is an entertaining original column featured here at Wagercom. If you are prone to NBA betting or even just an NBA fan, make sure you come back often to read his articles and free NBA Basketball picks against the spread. AC will be providing us with a weekly outlook during the basketball season including free NBA Basketball picks on some of the weekend games each Friday and Saturday.

Our NBA expert AC wrapped up the 2003-2004 NBA betting season with a 51% winning percentage against the spread on his basketball picks after 190 games.

NBA Season Preview 2004-2005

The NBA season is once again upon us and it’s time to reflect on what we’ve learned in the offseason. We’ve learned dreams do come true thanks to the 2004 World Series Champion Boston Red Sox (ok, this has nothing to do with the NBA, but can’t a brotha celebrate a little?), we’ve learned not to let Qyntel Woods or Zach Randolph dog sit, and most of all we’ve learned when playing Kobe, you might want to wear a face guard and keep your eyes shut (which finally explains Rip Hamilton’s mask during the NBA Finals). Oh Kobe, your stupidness rivals that of the great Isiah Thomas. I’d pay to see Kobe, Isiah, and Moses Malone on Jeopardy, and as long as we are talking about things I would pay to see, please tell me they are making a reality show about Ricky Davis, this has to happen, he is the Manny Ramirez of the NBA.

Anyway, as always I will break down each of the 30 teams for you in rank order from best to worst in each conference. This year’s NBA should feature several upsets and could be a turning point in the league center of power. The beat writers haven’t quite figured it out yet, which is why your boy AC is here to break it down for you.

The Eastern Conference

1. The Indiana Pacers: What would you say about a team that finished second in the conference last year and in the offseason added a 21 year old 7 footer who can rebound, shoot, pass, and block shots? You’d make them the favorite right? Well that’s what the Pacers did so they are my pick to take the East. They got rid of Al Harrington to open up playing time for Jonathon Bender. If Bender is 78.6% as good as advertised, the combination of him with Jermaine O’Neal and Ron Artest should be dominant. Add a healthy and now under control Jamal “Lee” Tinsley as well as Stephen “67 years younger than Reggie Miller” Jackson and you have a solid team. Sure they may blow up with Artest but sources tell me Larry legend has been actively shopping him around (of course those sources include the Magic 8-Ball, tea leaves, and the homeless guy who pees himself in front of my building but you think they are any worse than Steven A. Smith’s sources).

2. Detroit Pistons: Joe Dumars, you’ve just won the NBA championship, what are you going to do? “I’m going to sign Derrick Coleman.” The garbling sound you just heard was Detroit’s fans collectively throwing up on their socks. Here’s the deal, the Pistons gelled together and were just awesome at the end of last year. They played amazing team and defensive basketball (and not Heat-Knicks 1990’s defense but skilled and solid D) but now are saddled with a full year of DC and RaWeed. Wallace was a great addition last year but there is no way he stays happy all year. He and DC are a bad reality show waiting to happen. Bad chemistry will kill the Pistons this year (that and Chauncey Billups regressing to the mean) and they will be lucky to escape round one of the playoffs. On a side note, they may have won the title but you still have to shake your head in disbelief that Dumars went Darko over ‘Melo, just an inexcusable move.

3. Miami Heat: They were good last year and now they have added Shaq-Fu. They could seriously run out the Angola national team with Shaq and get third place in the East. I mean who is going to guard him, Mark Blount? Also, Dwayne Wayne Wade is good, not as good as everybody says especially because he can’t hit open 10 foot jump shots, but he is good enough to know to give the ball to Shaq and shut up.

4. Boston Celtics: This is not a typo. With the worst coaching in modern history, the Celtics managed to finish 8th in the Eastern conference last year. Take that team and add Raef LaFrentz (who believe it or not can actually play a little bit of ball), the player formerly known as Googs, three potentially spectacular rookies, and a coach that may be able to get through to the new angry selfish Paul Pierce, and you have a talent laden team sneaking under the radar. Thanks to the idiocy of Supersonics taking Eric Montross Jr., Robert Swift, the Celtics nabbed high schooler Al Jefferson. Jefferson may be a year away but he dominated the Summer league and has franchise player written all over him. Additionally, Tony Allen is an athletic freak, a mini-Ron Artest who apparently tore up Michael Jordan’s Hoops pick-up games over the summer. He will be an all-star once he learns to shoot. If Paul Pierce plays like he did 3 years ago, this team may actually make a run for it. If he plays like he has since then, they will make the playoffs but not get out of the first round. Has a player fallen this fast since immortal Richard Dumas?

5. Milwaukee Bucks: Why the Bucks? Why not. Redd can shoot, they have a billion role players who keep their mouths shut and play hard, and they are rolling out one of the guttiest of Gutty Bruins Dan “Gadzooks” Gadzurik. He’s no Sikma, but he may lead the league in blocks. As an aside, has anbody ever been to a game in Milwaukee? No seriously, please write me if you have, as I think the Bucks may just be a myth. Also, watch out for Zaza Pachulia, and I am not making that up.

6. Cleveland CavaQueers: So LeDong didn’t get any run in the Olympics, hey neither did I so let’s just move on. As pathetic as it is to admit, Zydrunas Ilgauskus is a player and the key to this Cavs team. If his feets stay healthy, DaJuan Wagner can get his VD in order, and Drew Gooden realizes it is not about him, the Cavs will contend. In LeDong we trust.

7. New York Knicks: I hate to do this but a terrible Knicks team will make the playoffs in a terrible Eastern Conference. They added the worst point guard of the last 10 years, Jamal “shoot ‘em first, pass never” Crawford to an already ballhog friendly back court of Allen Houston and Stephon Marbury. This team needs 7 balls on the court to make everybody happy (insert gay joke here). On the bright side, they have a solid player in Michael Sweetney but on the downside they have Isiah running the team. Watch Isiah trade for Vince Carter and then see the Knicks officially become the most overrated team ever, we’ll call them Yankees-Lite.

8. Chicago Bulls: This is not a joke either. If Eddy Curry can put it together, this team can be really really good. Hinrich can play, the overrated Ben Gordon may not be as overrated as I claim, and worst case scenario there is a player revolt on Scott Skiles so either way we all win.

The Pretenders

9. Toronto Raptors: This is an interesting team. They have a ton of talent in their veterans (Donyell, Rose, and Vince) and a solid young player in Bosh. Hey, maybe they make a run but then again maybe the Canadian dollar will buy more than three nickels. I don’t know stranger things have happened.

10. Orlando Magic: If Grant Hill stays healthy, they have a decent shot at the playoffs. Of course there is more chance of never running into one of Scottie Pippen’s kids during your lifetime than that happening. Scottie has more kids than the Blazers have assault charges. I like Francis and Mobley but Dwight Howard is 2-3 years away.

11. Philadelphia: I wish I could buy stock in “under 2 months” for the Iverson-O’Brien falling out. As noted in almost every column I ever wrote, Obie is the worst coach in the history of the NBA. Terrible in game strategy, a terrible game plan, and no desire to develop young players. The season hasn’t started yet and he has already benched Willie Green and Samuel Dalembert for Aaron Mckie and Marc Jackson (though I am a big Jackson fan). Obie will be lucky to last the year no matter what his father-in-law Dr. Quack Ramsey has to say.

12. New Jersey Nets: Does anybody remember when Jason Kidd was an MVP candidate and all-around good guy while Rod Thorn was a genius? Yikes, maybe they can bring back the ghost of Bill Fitch.

13. Atlanta Hawks: Antoine Walker is going to set the NBA record for three-pointers attempted. This is not really good news.

14. Washington Wizards: Jamison, Hughes, and Arenas led the Warriors to 32 wins three years ago. Who in DC said, “we need to reunite that trio?” I mean if you’re going to reunite a trio, why not Bird, McHale, and Parish, or Janine, Asia Carerre, and Jenna Jamieson? Yuck, this team just plain sucks. Watching them is like watching a fat chick in a porno, you’re glad she’s female but there are about 100 million chicks you’d rather pay to see.

15. Charlotte Bobcats: So I have an interesting story. I was talking with a friend of mine the other week and to give you some background he’s not much of a ladies man. Anyway, this is a transcript of our conversation.

AC: Nobody likes DJ, but he’s had a threesome

Dead silence

AC’s Friend: I’ve had a threesome

AC’s jaw drops to the floor

AC: What? How could you not tell me? Where’d you meet them?

AC’s Friend: Well they were hookers, I paid for them.

AC: interesting, did they at least do each other in front of you

AC’s Friend: Nope

AC: Were they at least hot?

AC’s Friend: Well the black one was ok but the Asian one was kind of fat.

So what does this have to do with the Bobcats? Absolutely nothing, I just wanted to tell that story.

The West

1. San Antonio Spurs: Everybody is hyping this Brent Barry acquisition, which is weird because he’s not really any good. However, the Spurs are going to be dominant so who cares. Anybody want a shot of Beno Udrih in their coffee?

2. Minnesota Timberwolves: A healthy Sam Cassell and Troy Hudson would have led them past the Fakers. Garnett showed some heart, this could be their year. Wolves fans are happy Ron Gardenhire isn’t their manager as he would pull Garnett in the third quarter up by 2 and then lose by 14.

3. Denver Nuggets: Yep, it’s going to happen. Add Kenyon Martin to a maturing team and you are in trouble. As an aside, ‘Melo’s story about lending his backpack to a friend who then put marijuana in it is as believable as the Red Sox winning the World Series. Wait, scratch that, I mean it’s as believable as Jeff Garcia dating a Playboy bunny. Uhh, actually, scratch that too, maybe it was his friend’s sticky ricky but come on ‘Melo, why are you hanging out with RaWeed?

4. Dallas Mavericks: So Nash left, big deal. Devin Harris is going to be a player and rolling Marques Daniels and Jason Terry out there is pretty good until that time happens. In fact, I am going on record as saying Jason Terry will be an all-star with this team. Of course I liked Ryan Leaf over Gayton Manning so I may not have a lot of credibility. At the end of the day, this team goes as far as Dirk takes them whether it’s the first round, finals, or an Amsterdam brothel.

5. Houston Rockets: They added 17 players in the offseason including the pride of Wilkes-Barre, PA Bobby Sura, 97 year old Dikembe Mutombo, crybaby Tracy McGrady, and several underage girls for Calvin Murphy to molest. Yao is a bit soft, McGrady is selfish. If one of these things changes they will be tough, if both change, they can contend.

6. Utah Jazz: They may finish a lot higher than this but they have to stay healthy. Carlos Arroyo torched the US in the Olympics (of course so did the Australian women’s cricket team, but that is besides the point) and Mehmet Okur and Carlos Boozer are only going to help. Sure Boozer deserves to get booed for being a liar and backing out of his deal so feel free to boo him all the way to the playoffs.

7. Sacramento Kings: Oh how the mighty have fallen. Christina Webber is never healthy and just not very good, Peja chokes in the clutch like Gay-Rod, and they keep getting older. This team is ready for a fall. Without Brad Miller they are nothing, with him they barely make the playoffs, and yes, I just typed that.

8. Memphis Grizzlies: They roll out 10-12 players and one day Troy Bell may crack the top 12. Apparently James Posey can play this game and Pau Gasol is going to have a break out year. He is the best Spanish import since tacos (ok tacos are Mexican but work with me here hombre).

The Pretenders

9. Phoenix Suns: The biggest wildcard in the West. They could be really good with Nash, Q, Barbosa, Joe Johnson, Marion, and Stoudamire. Actually, wow, they have talent. If they can find a decent center, they might make a run for it. Never thought Phoenix fans would yearn for the days of Marc West or Tim Kempton.

10. LA Lakers: That’s right, the Lakers are not making the playoffs. They basically have Miami’s team from last year minus Eddie Jones and Dwayne Wade and plus Kobe “facial” Bryant. The Heat finished in the middle of the pack in the East and Kobe is not that much better than Jones and Wade. Kobe and Lamar Odom are basically the same player and there is no way they will be able to play together, seriously, in two months baby Kobe will be pouting and want Lamar traded. Also, Chris Mihm may be the starting center and that can’t be good. Well done Kobe, you have your team, now see how much harder it is going to be nut on a hotel worker’s face when you can’t even make the playoffs. I think your new nickname will be scarecrow because you have no brains, moron.

11. Portland JailBlazers: Uhh, let’s see they draft the Russian national team, a high school problem child, and still have to deal with Qyntel woods and his merry group of convicts. They have two power forwards (though Zach may spend some time in the kennel) and a lot of hashish that needs to be smoked. If you’re keeping score at home (and I assume you all are) put the Blazers down for 32 wins, 3 DUI’s, 2 solicitations (one of a minor), and 1 case of hiding WMDs.

12. Golden State Warriors: RunTMC is not walking through the door. I don’t know what that means but this team really just blows.

13. New Orleans Hornets: Or is it the Charlotte Bobcats? I really have no idea. Either way, the 10 seconds I spent writing this is 9 seconds too many to spend on this team.

14. Seattle Supersonics: As noted, they drafted Robert Swift. This was not a good move and neither was anything they have done since sending Shawn Kemp to Weight Watchers. Ray Allen and Rashard Lewis are talented, too bad they are playing with the Washington Generals cast-offs.

15. LA Clippers: Elton Brand is going to be this generation’s version of Buck Williams and I’m pretty sure that was not a compliment.

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