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BOWL GAME NCAA FOOTBALL PICKS
It’s good to be back from Italy. Europe is a wonderful place but it lacks something--- not enough America or Americans there to suit me. Also their confusion over what the sport football is drives me freakin bananas. I returned just in time to watch UCLA pop the Trojans in the nose, and make Saint Carroll look about as sulky as Sulky Smurf after receiving a surprise colon examine from a man who only has hooks for hands. I also noted that it seems once again a USC cheerleader celebrated for the opposing team.
Weird right? I have a theory; maybe the SC cheerleaders are so accustomed to winning that they can sense impending failure and simply refuse to be a party to it. Not positive but it is something to ponder.
By the way who won the Big 12? Oh yeah it doesn’t matter.
So Michigan got screwed, too damn bad. I’m pretty sure nobody outside of Ann Arbor and possibly parts of Canada (and do we really care what the Canadians think?) really wanted a rematch. So the Gators get the trip out west and a date with destiny. Destiny of course in this case meaning a thorough trouncing, but hey at least they get to leave Gainesville for a week.
So without further ado, the last column of the year…
The Picks
Oregon -3 vs BYU
Mormon football, catch the fever! Actually on second thought that sounds like an awful idea, and it’s probably contagious.
FSU +5 vs UCLA
Yup I think the SC game was a fluke, so sue me!
Cal -5 vs Texas A&M
Fun fact: if Cal didn’t piss away their game against Arizona they would’ve played in Rose Bowl and SC players would have got that once in a lifetime shot to get a photo with Shamu.
Texas Tech -6 ½ vs Minnesota
The Gophers are so badly coached I wouldn’t be surprised if they expect Tech to try to run it up the gut and play ball control. Basically Tech is the Big-12 version of Purdue, but they’re actually good.
Texas -11 vs Iowa
Texas late season swoon is not comparable to Iowa’s 2 ½ year ass-up.
Tennessee -4 ½ vs Penn State
Look I love the old fart, but if The Vols even show up (and don’t get arrested en masse) they should win by at least a couple of TDs.
Arkansas -1 ½ vs Wisconsin
Hey Badgers this is what your offense would look like if you had fast guys.
Michigan +1 vs USC
Depressed Trojans have nada to play for. Remember this is SC you don’t play for pride you play for a paycheck.
Oklahoma -7 ½ vs Boise State
AP will be back, end of story. However, this affords the Bronco players a great opportunity to get an autograph. Who knows might just be worth something some day.
West Virginia -8 vs Georgia Tech
All depends which Tech team shows up. I’m betting it’s the crappy one again.
ND +9 vs LSU
Remember when we thought ND was a top team. Who knew they would refuse to play defense or block anybody (I believe they did this all in the Christian spirit of Charity). Quinn brings them back and for once ND loses by a respectable margin in a bowl game.
Miami -3 vs Nevada
If they can’t beat Nevada the new head coach should retire and go raise sheep somewhere green and hilly.
Kentucky +10 vs Clemson
Clemson fooled us again. Next year I won’t rank them— seriously I won’t — okay I’ll think about it, after all they have 8 months to convince me 2007 is going to be different.
And finally
Ohio State -7 ½ vs Florida
Ohio State is really good, and the Gators just ain’t. My advice for Florida is; have a cocktail, enjoy the sunsets, maybe snack on some delicious nachos, but don’t get all hung up in the football game. Go and have fun, oh yeah and try not to get hurt.
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