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FREE WEEKLY COLLEGE FOOTBALL PICKS
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Wagercom College Football Picks Season Record
Wins: 5 | Losses: 5 | Ties: 0
NCAA Picks Winning Percentage: 50%
Record updated weekly
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NCAA COLLEGE FOOTBALL FREE PICKS:
Note: Due to an increase in requests for our football picks, advice, and entertaining columns, we have started a newsletter that will be emailed to those of you who sign up for it at no charge. To sign up, simply click here, put your email address in the message box and hit send. We will not give your email address to anyone and we do not send out junk mail.
WEEK 1 COLLEGE FOOTBALL PICKS
Important news: As many of you know, this economy has led to tough times for all. Many are out of work, defaulting on loans, and forced to turn to a life of stripping in order to pay the bills. We here at Wagercom.com are not immune to the economic troubles of the day. As a result, we have had to let DJ go for now. While he wasn’t a great handicapper (unless you were betting against him), and he wasn’t particularly funny (though if you understood how low his IQ is, you would have laughed just to be nice), he was our unfunny bad game picker and say what you want about him but he loved himself some college football.
Anyway, we’d like to still provide our kind readers with free college football picks since the more you win, the more we win, and we are nothing if not benevolent. Since we can’t afford a full time college football writer (money doesn’t grow on trees, though paper does, and money is made of paper, but that is all irrelevant), this year’s college picks will be made by a series of guest writers.
Wagercom.com might not have a lot of funds right now, but we have many connections. Pulling strings is not usually our thing (unless they are g-strings), but in order to satisfy our reader’s needs, we were forced to do some string pulling. Therefore, we have lined up some celebrities to pick games, starting in week one with former Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin (and yes, she is really making these picks, and no she has not read the site which is probably why she is doing it).
Sarah Palin’s Picks:
Gosh golly everyone, this college football season is going to be a doozy. I am currently planning for my trip to Hong Kong to let those little yellow people know how great the US of A is and how they shouldn’t keep our journalists hostage. Plus, do you know those people don’t use forks? They still use sticks to eat. I pray for their little brains to one day grow as big as American brains.
But enough of that, I am going to pick games for you now so you can win money to support my ethics legal defense fund. Gambling is legal and ethical, right?
Minnesota -7 at Syracuse:
Because of my accent, some people think I am from Minnesooooda. I once saw that Fargo movie and I thought they all talked fine. I like Gophers. I once shot one just because I was bored and it was alive. I don’t know how the helicopter didn’t scare him off. As for Syracuse, I think it is in New York and we all know real Americans are from small towns, not big cities like New York with all of those blacks and Jews and communists. The Gophers should cover this, especially as I am told Syracuse is starting a former point guard from Duke and everyone knows I’m the only point guard here.
Kentucky at Miami of Ohio +15:
Oh me oh my, you surely must be pulling my leg here. Everyone knows Miami is in Florida, not Ohio. This must be some kind of joke. What’s next, are you going to tell me Moscow is in Idaho? I went to school in Idaho and I can see Russia from my house so I know where Moscow is. Either way I am going to take Miami because Rick Pitino is at Kentucky and Rick Pitino pays for abortions and you all know how I feel about killing babies, unless they are baby deer, or bears, or sheep.
Navy at Ohio State -22:
You know my running mate, the great American hero John McCain went to Navy. Yeah, he did. But guess what, he’s really really old. You know during the campaign, he told me he was actually in the Korean war? Wow, how old is he that he thinks we were fighting Korea and not Vietnam. What a silly old man.
Idaho +2.5 at New Mexico State:
I went to Idaho for my college degree where I received a B.S. in Journalism. I learned what bad people journalists are by infiltrating them and their liberal agendas for all four years in school. They tried to do very bad things to me while I was there like ask me what newspapers I read (when everyone knows the same comics are in every newspaper so it doesn’t matter which one you read). But I prayed to Jesus that these left wing media people would stop killing babies and let me graduate.
Army +5.5 at Eastern Michigan:
My son Track is in the Army, we joke that he is now on the right Track. He’s such a good boy, he has yet to get anyone pregnant (Mainly because Todd taught him this one piece of advice, “if you hit her in the bum, there won’t be a little one”). He’s the best of our children. We’re so proud of his abstinence. Plus he knows that the government is bad and can’t run anything right. That’s why were proud that he is not working for a government run institution.
Brigham Young at Oklahoma -21.5:
Golly gee is this a mismatch. How can one person take on a whole team? I know Brigham Young is a famous Mormon but even Jesus himself would have trouble with the whole Oklahoma team and Jesus can drink caffeine. Plus, what kind of family values do Mormons really teach? Polygamy is not in the Bible, or at least the couple pages I read on the plane.
Rice at Alabama-Birmingham -6:
When I’m in Hong Kong I’m going to eat plenty of rice. Those little yellow people love rice so I am going to try just a little bit of that culture. Our great nation prefers potatoes over rice because we are bigger people and rice is little. I try to talk straight to the American people and I’ll tell you that I like my meat and potatoes and I like forks.
Missouri +6 at Illinois:
Illinois is the rootinest tootinest most evilest state in this country. That Nazi Muslim African socialist used to live in Illinois. Those people in that state over there must be sorry Hitler lost to the Japanese in World War I. God will punish the bad people of Illinois for electing Obama from the beginning so they have no chance to beat Missouri because God loves college football since college football is American and Illinois is not part of any America I know.
Toledo +12.5 at Purdue:
Everyone knows God hates queers and everyone knows that God loves America, therefore, America must hate queers too and I don’t know much about Purdue but that’s the queerest sounding name for a school I have ever heard.
San Jose State at USC -33.5:
The liberal media controls Hollywood and USC is in Hollywood so they obviously have this game fixed for the Trojans. What is a Trojan anyway? Maybe I should ask Bristol, but the again, she probably won’t know, she just graduated high school.
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