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FREE WEEKLY COLLEGE FOOTBALL PICKS
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Wagercom College Football Picks Season Record
Wins: 33 | Losses: 27 | Ties: 0
NCAA Picks Winning Percentage: 55%
Record updated weekly
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NCAA COLLEGE FOOTBALL FREE PICKS:
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WEEK 6 COLLEGE FOOTBALL PICKS
Last week Alex Trebek went an inspiring 5 and 5. You may ask why that is inspiring, but you'd be forgetting that Alex is both Canadian and gay. So not bad, not bad at all. This week, wagercom.com was inundated with requests from people to guest write this column. However, we wanted to do something different for our readers, something special that no one else could do. So Jiggy Donuts and AC Titticock broke out their old Ouija board and began asking questions and channeling spirits (and not just Jack Daniels and Johnny Walker).
First they asked if Taylor Rain really did like it in the butt or if it was all an act for the cameras. The Ouija board came back with a resounding yes (and AC and Jiggy maintain they were not moving the piece of wood to get that answer, though many pieces of wood in the room did move after getting the answer).
Then they asked if it's true that all of your dead relatives can see you when you masturbate. The Ouija board answered yes, but neither of them were paying attention because they had both gone to separate rooms to masturbate to Taylor Rain loving it in the pooper.
Finally, they asked if there was someone funny up there who knew about college football who wanted to write this week's column. Slowly but surely, the Ouija board spelled out Rodney Dangerfield, and then followed with his column and picks.
Rodney Dangerfield's College Football Picks:
Wow. I get no respect. Even when I die I am stuck writing for this nothing site called wagercom.com. Talk about no respect. I should be writing for ESPN but I get this. I tell you, it reminds me of my wife who asked me to join her bridge club...we jump next Tuesday. I haven't been this embarrassed about something since a peeping tom caught me jerking off and booed me.
I know you might be asking what does Rodney know about college football, but you forget I was a great athlete. I am still the only person to pull off a triple lindy. And yet I still get no respect. Well this week I will win you all money and then you will be forced to respect me. I mean even in death my wife still cut me off from sex. It's down to once a month, but I'm lucky, she cut two guys off completely.
Auburn -3 at Arkansas:
This Auburn team is like me, they get no respect. They're 5-0 and just cracked the top 25. I tell you, if they went to a hooker, she would probably tell them she had a headache.
Purdue at Minnesota -4:
Purdue is just a bad team. Wow, they turned it over 6 times last week. They're so bad that if they went to a freak show, they would get in for free.
Duke at NC State -14.5:
Duke is so bad at football, their fans call them two baggers. The fans have to put one bag over their head and one over the TV just to watch them.
Georgia Tech +3 at Florida State:
Florida State is a mess right now I tell you. Bobby Bowden is so old he farts dust. Let me tell you, this team is in such disarray their AD asked fans what they thought of Bowden and they said he stinks, so the AD asked for second opinion, and they said he's old too.
Indiana +6.5 at Virginia:
The Hoosiers get no respect in football, no respect. Their fans think there's only one thing wrong with them, they show up.
New Mexico at Wyoming -10:
New Mexico and Wyoming, who cares. A travel agent said I could spend 7 nights in New Mexico, no days, just nights.
Alabama -4.5 at Mississippi:
Wow, Alabama is so stupid, it takes people there an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes. Good thing you don't need brains to play football.
Wisconsin +15 at Ohio State:
Terrelle Pryor is good, but not good enough to blow out Wisconsin because Jim Tressell is an idiot. Jim Tressel is so stupid, he once picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and then tried to make a run for it.
Kansas State at Texas Tech -16.5:
Kansas State is a such a bad team their AD asked a cop if he could help him find his fans. He asked the cop, "Do you think we'll find them?" and the cop said "I don't know, there are a lot of places they can hide."
Florida at LSU +7.5:
Tim Tebow has a concussion. Big deal. My wife's so ugly they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. I wish I only had a concussion. Not only is she ugly, she hates having sex with me. She said she wanted to have sex in the back of the car, but she wanted me to drive. I tell you, i get no respect.
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