JIGGY'S FREE NFL FOOTBALL PICKS

NFL Forecast & Week 4 Free Football Picks

Ahhhhhh. So I am finally hitting my mid-season stride. 3-1 again and it feels so right. I of course would have loved to have gone 4-0 but there was a little speed bump that I hit.

That speed bump was the SF 49ers. I want to be a little more specific here – the players aren’t to blame and in fact, some of them are very good. The defense is a real top ten defense. Julian Peterson could easily be voted most dangerous man in the NFL. And Ronnie Lott and Tim Mckyer are great defensive backs. If Michael Carter can keep his weight down he could easily anchor their interior line. And on offense, are you kidding me? Jerry Rice, John Taylor, Roger Craig (who is a total asshole – story to follow), Brent Jones, Joe Montana. These guys are unstoppable.

Ooops, I just had a Tecmo Bowl moment. But I think this is an interesting avenue to explore. Back in the day, when we had a tax-evading, potentially mob-connected, real estate mogul running the team, we had winners. We had the best talent, we had the best uniforms and yes, we had the best merlot and brie at the tail gate parties (though I am not sure that you can have a real tail gate party out the back of a 7-series BMW). Now the Niners have a legitimate organization. Great – they are losers. How can you put Dennis Erickson and Terry Donahue in charge and expect to win. They both struggled in college. And they struggled in places that should win every year. UCLA and Miami have HUGE budgets, amazing facilities, active backers and I bet that the recruiting parties at these schools make the recruiting parties at Colorado look like romper room. Yet they both were pretty much failures. Maybe one national championship between them.

I want someone like Dick Cheney running the niners. I don’t like the guy, I don’t want him whispering in the President’s ear, but he would make that team win again.

Anyway, so the Niners didn’t really cover. And this could either mean that they are that bad or the Seagulls are that good. It is probably a little of both. Good riddance.

The Eagles are serious, the Lambs are a real joke and of course the Tuna just doesn’t lose on Monday night – especially to Joe ‘vroom vroom’ Gibbs.

Other surprises around the league include the Jags, the Chefs and the G-men.

I think that the Jags are a party that is waiting for the cops to come. You know in high school when you are just about to finally get in that girl’s pants and the cops show up? I don’t either because I was at home running regressions on yards per carry and turnovers – but the finger-banging in Jacksonville just isn’t going to lead to anything more, the cops are on the way. And the cops are headed by a very effeminate and slow-witted person named Gayton.

The Chefs are really that bad. How are you going to lose to the Texans? I have been told that only two things come from Texas, steers and queers – and that team don’t moo. So you have the terrible Texans squeaking by the Chefs. Pull up a chair, the implosion of the Chefs will be quite a show.

And the G-men. The Giants get their 2nd win in a row. We should all keep our eyes peeled for the apocalypse or the messiah – because strange things are afoot at the Circle K. I want to give some credit to Kurt Warner (who was my fantasy QB this week – I wish I had some sort of alibi but I don’t. It was him or Randall Cunningham – close call actually) for not losing this one. But the takeaway is that the browns should move back to the NCAA. They could battle Ohio State for the crown of the Eden that is Ohio. Eff em both I say.

So the quick story about Roger Craig –

So AC and I are in Vegas for ‘work’ and consequently we are slightly tipsy. Our drink of choice is of course a jack and coke, with no coke. So we are about 322 sheets to the wind. We are looking for a casino that presents some sort of challenge (read – we were looking for the $2 black jack tables). We stumble into ceasers palace. The place is packed. And as we are walking, AC says two things –

1) Dude, I think that is Roger Craig over there

2) See that girl, I would do her in the butt.

The second one is his common refrain – but Roger Craig? Mr. 1000/1000? The high-stepping Nebraska back that helped the Niners to dominate the 80s? Could it be? I have long since passed my rah rah years. I am far more interested in winning money on these teams than actually liking them. But there is this little part of me that yearns for the days before money contaminated my soul. When I didn’t even know what a point spread was – and all I wanted was for the Niners to vanquish the hated Rams. I would have dreams of Jim Everett and Henry Ellard getting mangled in an awful car accident and I would wake up smiling.

So I went over to Mr. Craig and I said something eloquent like ‘hey, aren’t you Roger Craig?’ And he said no. So I just sat there, stinking of booze. And I looked at him again and really drilled down – ‘you are too.’ He said that I had the wrong guy. And as I began to sway, he said, “you got me man.”

I just walked away. He was a broken man and he didn’t have the decency to say hello to a fan. I realized later that it may have been Anthony Carter.

On to the free nfl picks… There are so many this week that I could probably pick 14 out of 14.

Air McNair (Read Air Volek) @ SD – Tennessee Titans -3

Mcnair may or may not be ‘feeling it’ enough to play this week and thus, the Chargers are only 3 point dogs. But I would postulate that even if the Titans didn’t have an offense, they could probably cover this. Here is what I am proposing – every time they force the Bolts to punt, the Titans will then have to run off 2.5 minutes from the game clock and then punt the ball back to the Chargers. I think the TN defense outscores the Chargers by at least 6. And if Billy ‘bad moon’ Volek can get a few yards, it is all gravy. Take the Titans.

Skins @ Brown Eyes – Washington Redskins -3

We all agree that the skins aren’t that good. We all agree that their offense is rickety and their defense is not close to what it was with Arrington. But the Browns are clear ‘short-bus material.’ The browns just don’t have the juice, the drive, the talent, the mettle, the gusto to hang with Clinton Portis. Take the skins.

Fairy Collins @ David Carr & Jabar Gaffney – Oakland Raiders -2

Do any of you thing that Jabar was named after that children’s book about the elephant, Babar? I do.

The Raiders arguably improve with Fairy leading the charge. They are firing well and their defense had been getting better and better. This one could be a laugher. Take the Raider Nation.

NFL Lock of the Week -

New Orleans @ Cards – New Orleans Saints -3

I know, I know. I am the boy who cried lock of the week. You don’t have to trust this one – but it looks damn good.

I am not sure when the rules changed in the NF of L – but if a field goal is still worth three and a touchdown still worth 6 (or 7 depending on your classification of the extra point) then this one will not even be close. The cardinals are flat awful. They couldn’t play their way out of a paper bag. And the saints seem like they have their X’s and O’s working. Take the aints.

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