Sponsored Links

Platinum Play
Win with Platinum Play’s Exclusive Platinum Membership! Just $50 gets you $150 FREE, plus prized-privileges!

Steelers Tickets in Pittsburgh

Eagles Tickets in Philadelphia

Patriots Tickets in New England

Cowboys Tickets in Dallas

JIGGY'S FREE NFL FOOTBALL PICKS

Week Ten Free NFL Football Picks

Carolina on My Mind

I want to take the first paragraph of my article to say thanks to all my loyal readers. Many of you just read the column, take the picks, make some money and then continue to the strip bars and brothels in your neighborhoods. I respect you and thank you for your patronage. But to the readers that take the time to write in and compliment the column (and the picks) I really appreciate it. And then there are the Giant fans that wrote in. Many of you were agitated by my comments. Some of you wrote well-reasoned missives and some of you wrote error-riddled, diarrhea-brained rants. Thank you for the time. Now listen to me. All Giant fans, I am speaking directly to you. Please fall in to a dark hole and never come out. You are all heathens and bigots. I am looking forward to the Giants doing badly this year. It will be so cute when the G-men make the playoffs and are destroyed in the first round. Good riddance.

Like all my fellow NFL fans, I have been absolutely transfixed by the big story in the League this week. The water cooler chatter at Wagercom world headquarters has been nothing short of heated. The flushed cheeks and blinking eyes make it feel more like an eighth grade dance where the party favors are rabbit vibrators than a workplace. The questions ‘Jig, how do you think this will affect the playoff picture?’ ‘Mr. Donuts, do I have to reshuffle my fantasy team in light of this gargantuan story?’ ‘Jiggy, did you ever imagine this would happen?’ “Jiggy, have the very foundations of the NFL, nay, the United States been shaken irreparably?’

Though I am traumatized and disheartened by the events of last week and I share many of your concerns, I want to assure all of you that this situation will likely end well. The story that is ricocheting around the league is of course the trials and tribulations of Renee Thomas and Angela Keathley.

Our two much-maligned protagonists were doing what any average red-blooded, young, American would do. They were expressing their love (and attraction) for one another. For those of you that don’t read too good or don’t have the time to follow the link above, Renee and Angela (Both Carolina Panther Cheerleaders) were making love to one another in a bathroom stall at a watering hole in Tampa. Apparently they were clogging up the line to the bathroom – some of the other patrons got agitated and began banging (ha ha I said banging) on the stall door. When young Renee came out, she punched one of the other bar-goers. The police were called (how much money would I have paid to be the officer who came (I said came) to solve this problem?). When Renee was in custody she gave the name and identification of a third Carolina cheerleader. The horror.

The upshot is that both of these young Americans have been fired from their jobs as Panther Cheerleaders. The ramifications of this story will not soon be forgotten. First, this story proves (beyond the shadow of a doubt) Jiggy’s third law of human dynamics – all hot chicks are bi-sexual. It has been debated for years by some of the foremost minds of our time, and, to my chagrin, has often ended without a definitive answer. I hope that this finally lays this controversy to rest. The other laws of human dynamics are going to be published in a rather large tome entitled ‘Zen and the Art of Football Handicapping.’ Look for it at reputable bookstores in early ’08. Other rules include taking the home dog when they get more than 7 points and never betting on Bill Cowher in the playoffs.

Anyway, back to Renee and Angela, in getting rid of the two of them, the league and the Panthers organization acted terribly.

The Panthers claim that the two were fired “for violating a signed code that bans conduct embarrassing to the team or organization.” If every time an NFL player did something that could potentially be embarrassing to the team was fired, the NFL would eventually just consist of Josh McCown (self proclaimed Jesus Freak who yells, ‘thank you Jesus’ after every touchdown pass – that would be a whopping eight times this year, proving that Jesus actually doesn’t care if you are a great QB or not) playing tiddly-winks with Kurt Warner (another self proclaimed Jesus Freak who happens to really enjoy McCown because they agree on their religious beliefs). I am sure that would sell really well in the fly-over states. So already we have some vicious hypocrisy.

Secondly, who said anything about the Panthers??? I know that the news media loved the idea of the two of them being cheerleaders (who doesn’t love that idea) but they weren’t wearing their uniforms in the bar (oh Jesus, if you are done guiding Josh McCown to all-pro status, could you please let my fantasy be true – that the two actually were wearing their cheerleading skirts in the stall) and I am sure they weren’t doing cheerleading chants whilst in the bar. In fact, they weren’t even in Tampa on official Panthers business. If I have sex with my wife in a bar stall and I yell at a few other bar goers on the way out, does that give my employer the right to fire me? I think not.

And finally, the most ridiculous part of all is this – if anything, the Panthers should fire the cheerleaders on their squad who weren’t caught having sex in a bathroom. Goodness. Can you imagine how many more luxury boxes would be sold if the entire cheer team was nubile lesbians? Last I checked, the purpose of cheerleaders was to use their sexuality to incite the audience to scream and get excited. I would argue that bisexual cheerleaders do this more effectively than straight ones. And before you give me that bullshit about family entertainment and wholesome image, ask yourself if the current cheerleader mystique and antics are all that pristine. Also, corporate sponsors that the teams court for luxury boxes are the same ones dropping big dollars at strip clubs. Instead of firing these two hard working girls, the league should promote them and hire their (presumably) muff-diving friends. The Panthers would then have enough money to hire a real quarterback.

In closing, I support Renee and I support Angela. In fact, if they need a job, they are welcome to become the official spokes-lesbians for Wagercom.com. Renee and Angela, I know you are reading this – we at Wagercom will match whatever the Panthers were paying you for you to be the official images of Wagercom. And for those of you out there who support them as well please purchase one of our Carolina Cheerleader T-Shirts

There was some other news in the league this week – Terrell Owens seems to have had a mild falling out with his team. This development arguably affected more fantasy teams than the Renee story – but less viscerally.

This story has gotten a boatload of press and well it should. It is about time the Eagles Organization came out and apologized to TO. They won’t and maybe they shouldn’t – but if winning was important to them, they would figure out a way to get him back on the team. The Eagles are done for the season without him. Reggie Brown isn’t the answer. DMac and a cohesive, yet relatively untalented team isn’t the answer either. Whether you love TO or hate him, Wagercom has the shirt for you.

I want to take a second here to give some props to TO. He isn’t a team player and he isn’t particularly smart. He may be a genius, but if making money with the Eagles was his goal, he went about it in a stupid way. But let’s look at TO. First he signed a great deal with Philly. He then played his guts out for a season. He really did risk limbs to come back and help his team in the Super Bowl. This isn’t something he had to do. And then, before the season started he asked to rework his contract. He wanted to make more of his money guaranteed. Apparently, in terms of guaranteed money, he wasn’t even in the top 10 receivers in the league. I know he signed a contract and I know it is important to live up to your word, but both sides have the ability to ask for renegotiation. He then had a falling out with one of the assistant coaches, was suspended, came back, contributed, had some verbal sparring about McNabb and the Organization (and he has every right to do so) and then got in to a fist fight with Hugh Douglas. As with any story, I bet there are two sides to it. If you believe that Hugh (6’2” 280) was just minding his own business when TO just accosted him, then you are a ridiculous person.

I like T.O. – I like the excitement he brought to the game, the creativity and yes, his attitude. I don’t want a bunch of Tory Holts, Marvin Harrisons and Henry Ellards. Those guys put up great numbers and they are great players, but in the end, I want more than that. I like people who are fiery. I like players who march to the beat of their own drums. I love Ricky Williams, Randy Moss, Dennis Rodman and all the guys who don’t take the status quo and just accept it. These are the Nietzschen uber mensches who understand that rules don’t apply to great men. Yeah, they will piss people off, yeah, they will chafe with other people and with authority – but in the end, after all the money and accolades, you have to look in the mirror. I bet that the people who do things their own way, when they are old and gray and full of sleep, I bet they will look back and feel a little more satisfaction. They stood up for themselves and what they believed in. Their beliefs may be misguided and they may be insane, but at least they weren’t told how to live, what to say and what to do.

So football…

Technically I went 2-2 last week. But lucky for me, the line on the Chefs game moved enough so that in reality, I went 3-1. If you liked the Chefs giving 4.5, you loved them giving only 3.5. This was a great call by Dickie V to go for the win with 5 seconds left. He should have thrown in case he was stopped, but hey, hard to argue with a win and a cover.

It would have been nice to see Gus Frerotte not throw an interception at the end of the game that would have forced overtime. It is somewhat enlightening that the Falcons can’t even put away the lowly Dolphins. And of course, huge ups to Ricky Williams for his first touchdown since 2003.

Baltimore is really, really horrible. The first thing I would do is fire Jim Fassel. Then, I would actually leave Kordell in there until Boller comes back. And then I would read the riot act to the Baltimore Defense. Someone should remind them that they used to be good, they used to be feared and they used to actually contribute by scoring.

San Diego should have lost to the Jets (let by Brooksy). That is crazy. But again, it is hard to argue with the win. I had the Bolts teased with the over, so they just had to win.

Arizona is truly terrible. It seems like old Josh and Kurt may need to pray a little harder or more often.

The lowly 49ers actually played a very tight game with the Giants for about one half. Then it was just too much for their O-line. It was like watching a tecmo bowl game. Do you remember? There were four plays to choose from and if the defense picked the appropriate play, then the O-line would allow everyone to run on in – unless you had Bo Jackson or Marcus Allen, it was a sure loss of yards. That is how the 9ers looked. Sad.

Green Bay is truly in trouble.

And finally, the Colts look amazing. I have always hated Peyton, but he has that offense clicking.

Now, the NFL picks…

Kurt McCown (Arizona) @ Joey Harrington (Detroit) – Joey -3.5

I feel so dirty for typing this pick that I want to wash my whole computer with turpentine. The truth is that both of these teams should lose this game – but alas, I am afraid that the only real loser will be the viewer. Detroit’s defense is underrated and the home field advantage has got to help a little bit. Also, let’s not forget exactly how bad the Cardinals are. Look for a slogfest ending with Detroit covering. Take the Lions and give the points.

Kordell Stewart (Baltimore) at Byron Leftwich (Jacksonville) – Byron -6.5

It is a big spread but the Ravens are big losers. I know that the Jax only beat the Texans by 7. Maybe they’ll take that as a wake up call. Take the Jax and give the points. Oh and if you can watch the game, enjoy Greg Jones mauling people. He is one of the toughest runners since Earl Campbell.

Ian Gold (Denver) at Warren Sapp (Oakland)– Ian Gold -3

I love watching Ian Gold play. I am sure that in my Jewish Day School there were at least four Ian Golds. And now that we are all grown up I am not sure that the four of them combined would weigh as much as Ian Gold the Denver linebacker. I am 100% positive that the combined bench press of my peers would be less than Ian’s and I am sure that if you took the average of the Jewish Ian’s 40 yard dash times, I would bet that Ian (who is not known for his speed) beats us by 35%. In short, there is an error with the guy’s name. (By the way, this picture is Ian Gold at LaVar Arrington’s birthday party.) Oh yeah, back to the game. The Broncos are one of the elite teams in the league. The Raiders aren’t. Watch as the Bronco running backs control the tempo and the game. Look for the Denver Defense to put a serious hurt on Fairy Collins and his boys in black. Take the Broncos and give the points.

Free NFL Lock of the Week

Tom Brady (Patriots) at Gus Frerotte (Miami) – Tom Brady -3

This is one of those spreads that make you wonder if you are living on some parallel universe. Am I in the twilight zone? Did the Dolphins not just lose by seven to the Falcons? Aren’t the Falcons QB’d by the most overrated human on the planet? Aren’t the Pats the defending superbowl champions? Did anyone watch the game on Monday? Take the Pats ALL DAY LONG.

Many of my fans ask me where I wager. I have a gambling problem so I bet on everything from the ponies to how long (in inches) my excrement is. But I have been a proud customer to sportingbetusa.com for some time ( Join www.sportingbetusa.com now and receive a generous sign up bonus. ). They have good lines, great promotions, many betting options and most importantly, I get my money from them on time. They have signed a deal with Wagercom.com. So if you are looking for an online book, try them out. They are Jiggy tested and Jiggy approved.

Contact Jiggy at jiggy@wagercom.com or post your questions/comments on the Wagercom Message Board


Check the current point spreads and game lines.