I normally spend the real estate in this column on harangues and diatribes against humanity and certain stupid or arrogant members of this earth.   In the spirit of the holidays, even with our favorite war-time president finding the love in his heart to pardon some actual turkeys I am going to try to limit my hate-speak to only a few of the most deserving.

So this week I only hate the Jacksonville defense for giving up a late meaningless touchdown that blew the spread for Jiggy. And of course I hate all NY Giant fans.   I hate them because as a general rule they are slow-witted and often ugly.   I hope you all choke on wishbones this year.

To all my fans Happy Thanksgiving.   (And by the way, I would have taken the pilgrims and given the points.)

So football:

Yes, Jig managed only a 1-3.   Sad, but who would have predicted that Carolina would fold so easily at the hands of the might Bears?   And of course we have already discussed the painful lack of spirit exhibited by the Jags.   And finally, Tommy Maddox.   I am sorry that I ever believed in you.   We all yearn for the days when XFL was up and coming.   I often tip my forty for the old San Francisco Demons .   Sadly, that was the last time Maddox really seemed in control of a game.   Boo Hoo Tommy.   At least Ben will be back soon so that the Steelers can disappoint everyone in the playoffs.

Nice work Dallas but I am afraid that beating Joey Harrington should only count for ½ of a win.

Indy has officially thrown down the gauntlet.   I suspect that if Big Ben is healthy, the Steelers will go to Indy and hand them their first loss of the year.   If Big Ben ain't healthy, then we should see the Colts streak continue.   It will be interesting to note whether or not the Colts will be the first team in NFL history to go undefeated with a homosexual quarterback.   I think this finally proves that one's sexual orientation doesn't affect one's ability to lead or be productive in the NFL.

Arizona , St. Louis , Seattle and the Niners are all very bad.   There should be some sort of rule in the NFL that not every division needs to send someone to the playoffs.   These teams all keep beating each other.   And I know that you whiners will say that the Seahawks are really great. They have gotten fat on weak teams and are soft in the center.   Enjoy them whilst you can.

Alas poor Rosenfels, I knew him well .  The Sage Rosenfels era seems to have come and gone so fast that we didn't even give it time to make us nauseous (or is it nauseated?)   On the upside, Ricky is improving every week.

The Eagles are cooked like a thanksgiving turkey.   It is a shame that McNabb had to tear that team apart.   I am going to be the first legitimate journalist to put the blame squarely on the shoulders of the guilty party.   McNabb has cost the Eagles this season.   First, by being out of condition in the superbowl last year (and thus losing it) he showed his selfishness.   Then, this year, he didn't come to the aid of T.O. when there were contract disputes in Philly, then, when T.O. wasn't recognized for his 100^th touchdown, McNabb was silent.   McNabb has thrown critical interceptions and was too selfish to get his hernia surgery at the beginning of the season.   Maybe McNabb should learn to get in shape, be a leader and make better decisions when throwing the ball.   So the next time you are at a soiree, or even a fete and someone calls out T.O. you tell them that Jiggy knows what the real root of the problem is.   If the team were QB'ed by Mike McMahon this year and T.O. were playing, then the team would have done better than this.The fans in Philly deserve more.   Express your support by buying one of our "IN T.O. WE TRUST" shirts.

Wow, did Joe Gibbs lose an easy one? To the Raiders no less? Tsk Tsk.

KC looked great, but I think that the University of Miami would cover 6.5 against the Texans.

Every week (or every week I can muster the energy) I call for the Aaron Rodgers regime to begin.   Favre, I know that your skills are still alright, but your supporting cast just can't get the job done.   Do you want to go out a loser?   It is time to hang them up or move to a team that has some players.   Let Aaron mature with the team.

Now, the NFL picks:

Jake the Snake ( Denver ) @ Marion Barber ( Dallas ) : Jake -2

I have a fundamental weakness for road favorites.   I think that the media overstates the value of playing at home.   I know this is a short week and the travel day likely hurts the Broncos far more than the Cowboys (who just have a short week).   The Boys are often tough on Thanksgiving, but this is a case of Denver being arguably the second best team in the AFC.   I think that Dallas has as good a shot as anyone in the NFC to get the superbowl, but the Broncos are too strong for them.Take the Broncos and give the two lousy points.

Ron Mexico ( Atlanta ) at Joey Garcia ( Detroit ) : Joey "Jerry" Garcia +3

I suspect that the tryptofan induced coma will prevent me from actually enjoying the Lions covering.   I don't know who is going to start for the Lions, Joey or Jeffy, but it is time for the Lions to bow their necks back and make a stand.   I believe that they will make it happen on Turkey day.

Jax at Cards: Jax -3.5

I don't really like talking about the Jax. In fact, I want to be alone. Just take the Jax. Really. (I know this is what I said last week, but it is still true.)

Free NFL Lock of the Week

LT ( San Diego ) at Clinton ( Washington ) : SD -3

It is Caldera Season.   The Chargers asserted their total dominance over a not-terrible Buffalo defense.   The Skins have capped crappy performance after crappy performance by losing at home to the Raiders.   The Bolts are going to whip in to town and treat the Redskins like red-headed, step children (with freckles).   It won't be close and it won't be pretty.   (And this assumes Gates won't play - if he does, this could be the most sure bet of the 20^thcentury, except maybe in the Persian Gulf War II where there was no spread that would have let me bet on the Iraqis.)

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