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JIGGY'S FREE NFL FOOTBALL PICKS

Week Nine Free NFL Football Picks

Though this column is often funny (and always brilliant) I want to take this time to get a little serious. I want to discuss the New York Football Giants, their old owner and their big win last week.

Tiki (who still has one of the gayer names in the NFL – think about it. A Euro-Trash looking Homosexual walks in to gay bar and sits down amongst the black turtle necked crowd. He looks to his left and sees his old friend, an equally gay looking man. He sashays over to him and says, ‘well hello Demarcus, how’ve you been?’ See that sounds odd. How about ‘Long time no see little Najeh.’ Also odd. But, ‘Tiki, Tiki, Tiki I have missed the soft caresses of our all night ky-fests. Where have you been sweetie buns?’ Now that sounds perfect. Tiki, I know you rolled up 206 last weekend, but how about a nick name. Think ‘Marcus,’ think ‘Flozell,’ hell, even make up your own like ‘DeAntonioJerami.’ But Rikki Tikki Tembo, your name ain’t working. And tell your brother Ronde that he is next on this hit list. ‘Ronde, pull off my chaps for me honey. But do it gently – oh you know.’) rolls up one of his best games of the year. Eli doesn’t commit too many mistakes and the G-men get their first shutout in the last 347 years. And why do they do this? They did it honor of their fallen owner, Wellington Mara.

I know precious little about the Mara’s – I do know that the granddaughter that sang the national anthem at the game was a hot little piece of tail – but outside of that, I know that Welly (as I like to call him) took what his father gave him and made a life out of it. He was an executive for the Giants his entire life. From the press reports, he was a good guy. I am not going to believe that he was solely an altruist. The announcers on Fox made it sound like he built the Giants Stadium with his own money as a charity project. Let’s not forget that the guy lived his whole life (and lived it well) on BBWC (big blue wrecking crew) money. I will take a second to say that if in fact the $325 million spot that he dropped on the stadium was with no intention of gaining a return, than that may be the stupidest waste of money I have ever heard about. There are real problems in the world, there are people trying to cure cancer, people trying to combat poverty there are people trying to make the world a better place and all of them rely on charity – so if any of my feckless readers are going to drop something with 8 or 9 digits and they want to do it on a for profit sporting team please, reconsider. Anyway, the old guy kicks it (and my condolences really do go out to the family) and then the lowly G-men win big.

The quotes from Shockey and Tiki are enough to make you sick. I am going to paraphrase here but they both said that they played hard because they knew that it would mean a lot to the family and because old Welly was looking down at them from the sky. This bugged me greatly but I didn’t react visibly whilst watching.

Then on Monday I was settling down to watch the Ravens and the Steelers tilt when something really caught my ear and my ire. The talk was about Jamal ‘drug runner’ Lewis – not to be confused with Ray ‘knife killer’ Lewis , though they are on the same team. And he is in the midst of a contract negotiation with the owners of the Ravens. The essence of the discussion was that because he was worried that the team didn’t dig him or that they weren't going to pay him, he couldn’t run his hardest or give his 110%. This comment drove me nuts.

So I was watching boxing the other night because nothing relaxes the jigmeister like seeing two guys beat the tar out of one another. It was Miguel Cotto and Ricardo Torres doing battle inside the squared circle. (Or at least I think it was – I was very drunk and very tired whilst watching it – though not as drunk or tired as Larry Merchant looks everytime he is on tv. Someone should really get him some coke, some speed or at least a few red bulls.) So Torres wasn’t supposed to have a shot, in fact, I think he was a last minute replacement for someone else. Well the fight quickly turned in to a brawl. In the early rounds, Cotto caught Torres below the belt, right in the family jewels. The ref warned Cotto and Torres fought through the pain. Again a round or two later Cotto goes back to the cock and balls, again the ref warns Cotto and again Torres continues, obviously in pain. Late in the fight, it’s close. No one expected Torres to last a round, let alone until the end of the fight. And once again, Cotto’s sweeping hook lands on the kosher pickle of Torres. Lampley turns to George Foreman and comments that Torres should let the pain be more visible in order to get a rest and even potentially get a point taken away from Cotto. Foreman turns to The Lamp and explained it thusly, ‘Now Jim, when you are in the ring you don’t have much. In fact, all you’ve got is your fists and your honor. And you are going to need them both if you are going to ever be anything in boxing.’

This is an incredible point. Imagine that – fair play, honor, sportsmanship. It hit me then but really sank in this weekend. We all need to remember that our honor is worth something. There is something noble in doing your very best.

And it seems that this attitude is sadly deficient in today’s athletes. And this is the sentiment that drove me bananas this weekend. Why does it take the death of someone you care about to bring out the best in you? Why can’t the Giants, who are paid very well to play a game, find the motivation every week to play at their highest level? They have coaches, sports psychologists and the best medical staff money can buy, yet they only bring their B+ game on a week in and week out basis? I am baffled. And the Jamal Lewis thing is even more disgusting. I bet Jamal would have far more negotiating leverage if he were on the field ripping off a tough eight yards every time he touched the rock. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that management has an incentive to get the most for their money and they don’t always negotiate fairly or let their honor show through. But getting the most from the owners, your agents and the fans all begins with giving blood, sweat and tears on the field.

Now let’s get beyond the financial aspects of this discussion. Let’s just assume for a second that all players in the No Fun League got paid the same amount. Let’s say that Brooksy Bollinger and Peyton Manning picked up the same paycheck every week and for some weird reason the NFL weren’t a meritocracy. (Forgetting the economic ramifications of substitution and the likely flight of premiere athletes to sports where they could achieve top dollar for their services.) In this money-free environment, do you think Peyton Manning would just start throwing more interceptions? Or do you think Big Ben Rothlisberger would forget to watch film before a game? They might, but I suspect they wouldn’t. What ever happened to playing your very best for yourself and your teammates?

I played high school football and even though you could clock my 40 yard dash with a sun dial and I couldn’t catch a cold, let alone a football, I wanted to play. And every chance I got on the field, I left every ounce of my strength on the field. Did I do it for money? For glory? For the panties of the captain of the cheerleading team? No. I don’t believe a single player on our team was offered a football scholarship (except Jeremiah and he decided he would rather not play because it would cut in to his macking and studying time – a fair decision.) The football team at my school was lucky to have as many fans in the stands as players on the team, so we can scratch off glory and finally it was an all-male school, so I am not sure the captain of the cheerleading team even wore panties (though he may have.) I think we all played hard because we wanted to do well. We wanted to achieve great things and in an odd way we wanted to fulfill the potential of our bodies. Do you know what I mean?

Jamal Lewis may be a great guy, he may be smart, he may be funny, he may be musical – but I suspect that he was born to do one thing extraordinarily and that is play football. With the average NFL career being about three years I would hope that every second of that time was sacred. If you were in the top 1,700 people in the world in anything and you knew you could only ply your craft for 3 years (or more realistically, 48 hours (48 games)) why wouldn’t you bring every ounce of effort you could on every play? The answer is that you should.

I don’t like Jamal Lewis and I don’t respect the Giants for needing that kind of extra motivation. I hope that these NFL players remember that they are the lucky, athletic elite and they should respect the gifts they have and the game they are blessed enough to play.

So football…

Perhaps Jiggy’s tirade is a result of going 0-4. It certainly isn’t a bad analysis of the column above. Jiggy did bet the Sunday night and Monday night games and enjoyed watching the Ravens and Bills both cover nicely. Although I have said it before, let me say it again, Big Ben is the best quarterback in the NFL. I don’t like wishing ill upon people, but if Cowher got hit by lightning and the Steelers got a real coach (and by real, I mean someone who coaches as if he is from this century not someone who is happy running the wing-T with the four horsemen at Notre Dame) then Big Ben would dominate virtually every passing category in the league. He makes great decisions, has a thunderbolt for an arm and seems to be a great leader.

I do love that the Jax had a punt blocked. Is this high school? Is this division III college? Punts don’t get blocked in the NFL. They just don’t.

Chicago’s defense is actually better than some offenses in the NFL. What I mean is this, if you were the 49ers, if you forced the other team to punt you should have the option of giving the ball back to the opposition and then let the Chicago defense take over for your defense. Get it? When you are actually on D you have to play the Niners Defense – when you are actually supposed to be on O, you can have the Bears D play against your opponents O. Never mind, you get the point.

HUGE props to Cody ‘rodeo’ Pickett. Or more realistically, how bad is Chris Simms? Anyway, nice win for the Niners.

Just when you thought the Vikings season couldn’t get any worse, it does. Poor Duante.

I can’t talk about the Titans v. Oakland game, it is far too painful.

And finally, the Eagles need to do something to right their ship. They are hurdling out of control and need to find their center. And now, with TO hurt and Donovan being too selfish to heal for a couple of weeks, things may only get worse. You know what would be a novel idea Andy, get a running back that can actually run between the tackles.

Now, the NFL picks…

One Trick Vick @ Tricky Ricky – Ricky +2

It is damn hard to go down to hot and muggy Miami to do battle with the Fish. Nicky ‘Hilton’ Saban has his boys playing hard and working it. Miami’s defense is the 10th ranked in the league while Atlanta is the 22nd. Miami is just figuring out how to use their two-headed monster at running back and Atlanta can’t seem to get Ron Mexico to fire on all cylinders. This is going to be too much defense, too much running game and too much homefield advantage for the Dolphins to lose. Take the Fish and the points.

Rudi, Rudi, Rudi at The Criminals Lewis – Rudi -3

Wow, the Ravens played so far above their own heads on Monday it was ridiculous. They have a short week, a depleted defense and last I checked, Anthony Wright is still starting at QB. The Bengals are going to tear a new asshole in the Ravens. Take the Bungles and give the points.

Kerry Collins at Trent Green – Trent -4.5

If any of you watched the KC game last week, you know. KC is for real. Yeah, they lost to the bolts, but they played like the old Chiefs. Look for the Raiders to fold at Arrowhead. Take the Chiefs and give the points.

Bonus idea –

Teaser: I am going to tease the Niners and the under. So I’ll have the 49ers +16.5 and under 48. Think about it.

Free NFL Lock of the Week

Julius Peppers at Simeon Rice – Julius -1.5

It just isn’t that easy being Chucky. How can you lose to the 49ers when you are a huge favorite? Well, the answer is this, Chris Simms. Chucky has already said that Phil the Younger will be the starter. That being said, Carolina will have an easy romp on this one. Tampa may have the best defense in the League, but their offense cannot hold the ball and certainly can’t move it against the Panthers. And don’t let me get started on what a freak of nature Steve Smith is. Did y’all see him paddling in the endzone last week? Look for him to get himself all wet this week too (please get your minds out of the gutter). Take the Panthers and give the points.

Many of my fans ask me where I wager. I have a gambling problem so I bet on everything from the ponies to how long (in inches) my excrement is. But I have been a proud customer to sportingbetusa.com for some time ( Join www.sportingbetusa.com now and receive a generous sign up bonus. ). They have good lines, great promotions, many betting options and most importantly, I get my money from them on time. They have signed a deal with Wagercom.com. So if you are looking for an online book, try them out. They are Jiggy tested and Jiggy approved.

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