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JIGGY'S FREE NFL FOOTBALL PICKS
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Jiggy's 2006 Football Picks Season Record
Wins: 5 | Losses: 3 | Ties:
NFL Free Picks Winning Percentage: 63%
Record updated by Tuesday
Contact Jiggy at jiggy@wagercom.com or post your questions/comments on the Wagercom Message Board
For those of you new to this football betting picks column, our expert NFL football handicapper Jiggy is coming off a money making 2003-2004, 2004-2005, and 2005-2006 NFL season.posting a winning record on both his NFL football picks and NFL Lock of the Week against the spread. Each week during the NFL season Jiggy will share his free winning NFL football picks as well as his entertaining take on the current happenings of the NFL.
NFL Week 2 Free Picks & Column
You know how all of these players return from injuries with the same mantra? ‘I can’t wait for the first hit.’ ‘After the first hit, I’ll be fine.’ ‘As soon as someone gives me a snot bubbler, I will feel perfect again.’ I generally think they are all full of dung (a little bit of discretion can go a long way when the censors are out in force – although we all know that shit, dung, excrement, poopy, doo doo, stank [as in, ‘stank on the hang low’], twobie [as in, ‘I have to rock a twobie’ – as in number one versus number two – but it could also be tubey as in a tube of excrement – not to be confused with tubesteak as that will come in to play later in this column], kids [as in, ‘dropping the kids off at the pool’]. In fact I think all of those words are interchangeable. Some people think that in order to save our children and the world, we need to call something by one of its names and not another. To all the people that believe that, I say, please fornicate yourself).
As I was saying, I don’t believe that athletes feel better after the first hit, but rather after the first completion, touchdown. Similarly, let’s say that you were Jenna Haze (another one of Jiggy’s friends on myspace) and you had a very bad sexual accident while you were procreating (censors, this could also have been doink, bang, fuck, bump uglies, bury the sausage…) and you were sore in your special place. You wouldn’t feel better after getting hammered by a mechanical pee-pee, you’d feel better after your next great experience. I am not sure what constitutes a great experience for a pornstar. As I am a real estate mogul, the best experience for me is finishing a day of spreadsheets and arguments with lawyers and counter parties by getting a nice massage (with happy ending) from two borderline underage blondes (who may or may not be bisexual). I wouldn’t be shocked to learn that a great experience for a pornstar might be, after a long day of massages (with happy endings) from young, hot blondes, they could finally settle in to a desk chair and catch up on email and their personal finances.
With all of that being said, I am so glad we are in week two. It was great to get those two WINS under my belt. It would also be nice to have my friend (from myspace) Jenna Haze under my belt, but I digress. The season has officially begun and already the questions are forming in my polluted (and diluted) mind.
Is Oakland really that bad?
Is Tennessee really that bad?
Is Cincy’s defense really that good?
Do the Niners have a legitimate chance of grabbing eight wins?
Will Frank Gore win the MVP? (we all have allegiances, mine happens to be with Frank.)
Will Shawne Merriman make us all forget about Junior Seau?
Who else was secretly cheering with Jerry Porter for the 7th sack of Aaron Brooks?
Is Brad Johnson taking testosterone? (How else could a 64 year old man win an NFL game?)
The questions go on and on for me. But there is one question that I got answered for me whilst I was watching the civil war for the Manning Family. After every ad break we were treated to another Bar Mitzvah video of the Mannings. All I could think when I saw each one – ‘check it to pancakes.’ I will note that Eli outplayed his brother and it took a phantom offensive pass interference call (who makes that call in the fourth quarter?) for him to lose. But alas, Peyton can continue on with both of his charades, he can believe that he is better than Eli and he can believe that he prefers women. Anyway, the question I had answered during the Manning love-fest was ‘how does little Tiki Barber run for so many yards and not get hurt?’ The answer is that he has fooled all the defensive players in the NFL.
After every play he congratulates his tackler. He helps up the linebacker. He hugs the strong safety and he gives the D-tackle a little pat on the rump. It was amazing.
 So I am reading this book now, ‘One Bullet Away,’ by Nathaniel Fick. I am fascinated by our modern military. This book details one Marine as he grows from OCS school through to being a recon squad leader. There are many interesting things in the book, but this particular passage screamed in my head while I was watching Tiki fondle his adversaries. A professor is trying to teach the young officers what it means to “execute every mission with speed, surprise and violence of action.”
The text reads as follows:
“Americans, especially young American men, exhibit posturing behavior. Two guys in a bar bump chests, get up in each other’s faces and yell. If a fight follows, it’s about honor, saving face. That’s posturing. Marines on the battlefield must exhibit predatory behavior. In that bar, a predator would smile politely at his opponent, wait for him to turn around, and then cave in the back of his skull with a barstool.”
That is Tiki. He is smiling politely and in the end, he is caving in the skulls of those defensive players. Attention all defensive players. DO NOT BE FOOLED. Tiki is your enemy and must be stopped.
So let’s talk about last week.
Yes, Jiggy only went 2-2. I would note that I was wrong by 12 points and right by 42. But that still ends up with the same amount of dough in your wallets.
Duante – time to work on being more judicious with the ball. If Duante doesn’t throw those two picks, the Fish come away with an upset victory against the super bowl champs.
Bledsoe needs to improve. It isn’t time for him to be benched yet, but if he doesn’t show marked improvement this week, the Romo drums will (and should) grow louder.
Jake Plummer… You know how you made all of us feel – why don’t you go to your room for a while and think about what your punishment should be.
Kudos to Reggie Bush and the ‘Aints. One down, 15 to go. Oh, and you don’t get to play Cleveland again, so time to start stepping it up.
Whoooooo did y’all see them Raiders? But more importantly, WHOOOOOO did y’all see them Ravens?
On to the picks…
We’ve only had one week to gather information, serious information, but already certain items appear to be themes. So without further ado…
J.P. LOSEman (Buf) at Dunate, Duante, Duante (Mia) – Buff +6.5
Okay, I know that JP isn’t the answer (unless the question has to do with useless protoplasm and waste of valuable natural resources) but we mustn’t forget that the Bills were whipping the Patriots for three plus quarters on Sunday. The Miami offense is not nearly as good as the New England offense. And what is more, Charlie Batch toasted the Miami defense (Jiggy thought they were a little more solid than that) so you have the underrated Bills defense against the error-prone Dolphin offense and you have the overrated Miami defense against the Bills O, an offense that mustered 10 points against the Patriots. And finally we are getting almost a whole touchdown and extra point. Take the gutty bills and the points.
Eli, Eli Oh (NYG.) at My Sports Hernia Feels Great (Phi) – G-Men +3
We learned quite a bit by watching the Sunday night game. We learned that the Giants are for real. We know nothing about the Eagles. We only know that they managed to beat a Houston Texans team that would probably lose to the Texas Longhorns. We’ve got to go with the known quantity here. Additionally, what is the likelihood that the Eagles are going to suck out with a phantom, offensive pass interference call? Take the Giants and the points!
 Rams (StL) at Niners (SF) – Niners +3
So when you live in SF you actually get to watch the Niners play. That is a luxury that few people outside of this little nook get. So after watching the Faithful (nick name for the Niners here in SF) cover the spread and battle many turnovers to almost snap victory from the jaws of defeat, I was encouraged that the world would start to see the magic that is Smith/Gore/Davis/Bryant. But when I watched NFL primetime, all they could talk about was how great Kurt Warner, Larryy Fitz and Edge looked. There was no mention of the fact that the Niners looked FAR better than last year and had a real shot at winning the game. On the other side, I watched the Ram game and they looked terrible. The rams didn’t score a touchdown and yet they are favored, going to the unfriendly confines of Monster Park (formerly 3Com Park and formerly Candlestick Park)? The Niners should win this game. I am all over the Faithful and the points.
Delhomme (Car) at Randall Cunningham (Minn) – Car -1
The Panthers are a great team – they just need to find their groove. I can’t decide if the Falcons played far above their heads last week when they whipped the Panthers or if there was just an odd star alignment. I would take the Panthers all day long, only for the lesbian cheerleaders – see top cat articles from last season – But I also know that the Panthers will right the ship and sail through Minny with a big win. Take the Panthers and give the points.
Many of my fans ask me where I wager. I have a gambling problem so I bet on everything from the ponies to how long (in inches) my excrement is. But I have been a proud customer to sportingbetusa.com for some time (
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