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JIGGY'S FREE NFL FOOTBALL PICKS
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Independently ranked the number one NFL picking site in 2007 (by BigGuy Sports Network)
Jiggy's 2008 Football Picks Season Record
Wins: 14 | Losses: 17 | Ties 1:
NFL Free Picks Winning Percentage: 45%
Contact Jiggy at jiggy@wagercom.com or post your questions/comments on the Wagercom Message Board
For those of you new to this football betting picks column, our expert NFL football handicapper Jiggy has had a money making 2003-2004, 2004-2005, 2005-2006, and 2007-2008 NFL season (where he picked over 60% correctly). Besides one down year (2006-07) Jiggy has posted a winning record on both his NFL football free picks and NFL Lock of the Week against the spread. Each week during the NFL season Jiggy will share his free winning NFL football picks as well as his entertaining take on the current happenings of the NFL.
2008 FREE NFL PICKS WEEK 8
The Dawning of a New Age
So, two mighty things happened last week. And because the world revolves around Jiggy, you would imagine (and be right) that they both are jiggy-centric.
First the Niners took Jiggy’s advice and decided to fire the effete Mike Nolan. It was absolutely about time. And we are excited that Mike Singletary is getting a shot. Sure, Mike Martz has been a head coach before, got a team to a superbowl and has more experience – but ownership likes to do things the hard way. All that being said, I am pleased that Mikey (likes it) got the nod. Of course, I am as shocked by anyone about the big eyes thing. When he is excited, he has the look that I always imagine on young girls faces when they realizes that the money shot will not be detoured to the breasts or chest area. But Mike is a baller, Mike is tough, Mike has the respect of the players and Mike cannot possible do worse than Nolan.
The second item is that Jiggy took his first 0-4 week of the season. They are rare, so they must be celebrated. Just like in Vegas, when the dealer gets blackjack on the first hand of a new shoe, it usually means that the shoe will break for the players. So let me tell you about the ritual that I perform after an 0-4 week.
Step one: get a wad of cash. I know that dropping four games can be tough on the cash flow. And I also understand that there is a financial calamity, rolled inside a credit crunch with a sprinkling of a housing crisis going on. (Jiggy called the bottom of the equity markets like 6 months ago – so we are overjoyed that he is a better football handicapper than he is an equity analyst.) But the mark of any good gambler is one that always keeps some ‘powder dry’ to weather the rough seas.
Step two: Go to craigslist to the professional erotic services section. Sure Jiggy has a stable of ‘service providers’ but when we go 0-4 it is necessary to change things up. You know, like a player that wears the same pair of socks through a hitting streak. Once the streak ends, the socks change. And there is also an element of self hatred so the possibility that the young lady (hopefully a lady) who arrives is a homely slice of hell. [for example – ugggh]
Step three: Buy a bottle of Eagle Rare or Noah’s Mill, an expensive rib-eye and order French fries from Solstice (they do this amazing dish with half sweet potato fries – actually yams – it is important to note that sweet potatoes are yellow on the inside and yams are orange – but we Americans (even in this time of thanksgiving continuously get this wrong) and half russet potato fries. The dish is served with catsup (or is it ketchup) and a tangy minty green sauce.)
Step four: Make sure to purchase the correct ice cubes – they must be large.
Step five: Order the first four women on craigslist. No matter how many *roses* they cost or how homely they are or how old they are or even if they are *real women*. Note to all federal and state law enforcement – these women on craigslist do not actually accept roses for payment – they actually expect money. And they are accepting that money (not roses) for sex. This is prostitution and it is against the law. So don’t be fooled. Have them all arrive at the manor at 10:30 sharp.
 Step six: Fire up hibachi (if you call a six burner, all gas, stainless steel monster of man’s grilling machine a hibachi). Drink first quarter of bottle of bourbon. Cook steak, heat potatoes, finish second quarter of bottle. Wait for doorbell.
Step seven: Answer door. Distribute one Jerseys to women. This week it would be a Jet’s jersey, a Saint’s jersey, a Cowboy’s jersey and finally a Buccaneers jersey. Finish third quarter of bottle of bourbon. Have women sit on couches facing each other with glass coffee table in the center.
Step eight: defecate on coffee table and distribute plastic spoons to each woman. Explain that the woman with the least shit on her (from the plastic spoon flinging of course) gets a 200 rose bonus.
Step nine: watch women fling shit at one another and scream things like the following, “brett favre, nice shit on your nose,” “jeff Garcia, you may want to close your mouth next time,” “Reggie Bush – you look like you have a real stringy one hanging from your nose,” “Romo, you love the dookie.” The obscenities and shit are usually finished within fifteen minutes.
 Step ten: Send women home, call cleaning lady, put porn on big screen tv (usually a little Shane’s World or Hustler’s Barely Legal) jerk off and fall asleep in a dejected pile of booze, fecal matter, semen and steak juice.
Step eleven: Wake up to a bright new day. Shower whilst cleaning lady finishes house and emerge from shower as a new man – ready to handicap again.
 JIGGY'S FREE NFL PICKS
Trent Edwards and The Beast (buf.) @ The U (mia.) – Marshawn (Bills) -1
The Bills are playing their guts out this season and they are a deceptively good team. They have skill players at QB, RB, WR and their defense is nothing to sneeze at. I like the Fish and I respect Bill Parcels. But it is too much to turn around that morbid franchise in one off season. Ride the Billies.
The Dirty Souff (atl.) @ Campbell’s Chunky Soup (phi.) – Dirty Birdies (Falcons) +9
Hotlanta is a young team with a lot of talent. They probably don’t cruise in to Philly and walk out with a win (though they could) but I don’t see them losing by anything close to nine points. I will be the first to admit that I thought Matt Ryan would be a total bust. He is an ugly dude – and I actually think this matters. But that is a discussion for another time. Them black birds are ballin and the eagles are not what they used to be. Take the birds and the points.
Az @ Carolina – Carolina -4
I don’t like to talk too much about the Panthers or the Cardinals.
NYG @ Big Ben (pitt) – Big Ben (Steelers) -3
 Those of us who sat through the entire Niners v NYG game learned many things. First we learned that Eli is still a total Poof (not that there is anything wrong with being gay – I just think he should admit it). We learned that the Niners don’t play good defense and we learned that the Giants aren’t that good. Take the Steelers and give the points.
Many of my fans ask me where I wager. I have a gambling problem so I bet on everything from the ponies to how long (in inches) my excrement is. But I have been a proud customer to superbook.com for some time. They have good lines, great promotions, many betting options and most importantly, I get my money from them on time. They have signed a deal with Wagercom.com. So if you are looking for an online book, try them out. They are Jiggy tested and Jiggy approved.
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Contact Jiggy at jiggy@wagercom.com or post your questions/comments on the Wagercom Message Board
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