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JIGGY'S FREE NFL FOOTBALL PICKS
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Independently ranked the number one NFL picking site in 2007 (by BigGuy Sports Network)
Jiggy's 2009 Football Picks Season Record
Wins: 34 | Losses: 32 | Ties 2:
NFL Free Picks Winning Percentage: 52%
Contact Jiggy at jiggy@wagercom.com or post your questions/comments on the Wagercom Message Board
For those of you new to this football betting picks column, our expert NFL football handicapper Jiggy has had a money making 2003-2004, 2004-2005, 2005-2006, and 2007-2008 NFL season, posting a winning record on both his NFL football free picks and NFL Lock of the Week against the spread. Each week during the NFL season Jiggy will share his free winning NFL football picks as well as his entertaining take on the current happenings of the NFL.
FREE NFL PICKS - WEEK SEVENTEEN
The Meaning of Meaning
Jiggy was drenched in blood, urine and tequila last Sunday as he was watching the Jets v. Colts, Niners v. Lions and Cards v. Lambs. This is what being a true gambling addict is about – complete and total debauchery at all times.
Sure, there were Mexican, Catholic School Girl themes cocktail waitresses and there were Nachos Con Pollo (that means Nachos with Pollo for all of you non latinos out there) and there one or two screaming fans. That is the nature of Los Angeles – no pro teams, so there is no love for the NFL. There were a few drunken Fantasy Footballers there and they were getting erect (noticeably) from the benching of Peyton Manning in the 2nd half of their ‘meaningless’ game against the Jets.
After hearing Dan Dierdorf (for what seemed like the 11th time) with his porcine lisp and his Neanderthal ‘ums’ explain that this ‘thgame is meaningthless’ for the Colts and despite the booing fans and irate fantasy football owners, this is the ‘right move’ for the franchise.
Jiggy was even in that camp recently.
Perhaps it was the holidays, perhaps it was being back in LA (a place I was neither born nor raised) or maybe it was that unfortunate incident with Chinchilla.
Editorial Note: First, Chinchilla is a very odd name for a call girl, but I would posit that it is not significantly different from rabbit (both Robert’s love interest from Papa Hemingway’s novella) and kitty kat (from virtually every strip club that has been visited by Jiggy) - I mean who is to say that Rabbits and Kitty’s are sexy while Chinchillas, guinea pigs and hamsters aren’t? I have always thought that maybe the ignominious cat/rabbit lobby was just more powerful than the less well known (and significantly underfunded) chinchilla, guinea pig, hamster and rat lobbies.
But I digress. It is often stated by Jiggy’s female readers that objects are treated like women in this column (dysplasia intended for dramatic consequence). And to some degree that is true and to some degree it isn’t (ain’t that a lot like life). But the point of the story is that some poor call girl died in Jiggy’s arms (trunk really – but again, the geographic word police are off until the 8th) and that may have called in to question all that is real and all that isn’t. And that dear readers oddly ties back in to Dierdorf (dear dork?) and his protestations about the meaning of Jets v. Colts in week 15 of the 2009-2010 season.
The argument (from Danny) is that the Colts have secured their homefield advantage for the playoffs and therefore this game is merely a waste of time (and possibly flesh). And, as I was cheering like a child at his last ice cream shop before going to get his third round of rubella shots (which I understand are no more or less painful than measles or polio shots (or a placebo for that matter) – but again, thematically, this all fits) for the vaunted (or less vaunted than they should be) Niners defense to hold the Lions and thus cover the 12 point spread. I was struck by the fact that if the Colts game is meaningless – one team going to the playoffs for sure and potentially entering the record books as the only team to go undefeated in the modern era against a team that needs to win to go to the playoffs with a rookie QB, a new, brash coach and all the weight of the 212 on their shoulders – than the Niner game, with two teams that are out of the playoffs with two journeymen QBs (Culpepper and Smith) duking it out (already with a 14 point score differential) must redefine meaningless.
But for Jig, who had the GDP of a third world country riding on the outcome, the Niner game was the epicenter of the universe. [This is not to be confused with the movie, ‘The Center of the Universe’ a movie about the vagina – as that is the center of the universe]. This leads (admittedly with much winding and some wending) to the point. We all create our own meaning.
More specifically, to carry out Dan Dierdorf’s main point (if he could follow a logical progression past the all-you-can-eat buffet) is that the Playoffs have value and the culmination of those playoffs is in fact the most meaningful game of the year – and that we should all point our collective souls and consciousnesses toward that ‘most meaningful’ goal.
But what does winning the superbowl do for anyone? It is a game like any other game. Yes, there are more fans, more expensive (and creative) ads, and the possibility of a wardrobe malfunction. But, outside of a few minor cash bonuses, the possibility of a wheaties box or another ghetto endorsement and a trip to the White House there is no material difference betwixt one game and another. Now, there are bragging rights, there are the historical implications. And Jiggy is not going to deny that there is a certain degree of pride that should be taken in qualifying for the playoff and then through a combination of skill and luck (which plays a much larger part than any of us are willing to accept publicly) actually winning them. But the way I understand it, all you get is bragging rights. The main point here is that many teams have won superbowls (like 49 of them or something) but no team (with a 16 games regular season) has gone undefeated all the way through.
So, if bragging rights and historical significance are the main drivers, then shouldn’t that game against the Jets been one of the most important of all time? And further, tell me that Drew Stanton (the QB for the Lions who was trying to prove himself in the meaningless Niner game) thought his game was meaningless, or tell Jiggy that his elephantine bet on the Niner game was less important than the Colts.
The point here is that this is a game – and in the greater sense, the game doesn’t matter. What we get from it does. We get excitement, entertainment (if you have been following the Jiggster) we get money. So Dan, the next time you want to tell me what games matter and what games don’t – instead of wasting some of the precious time that is in fact the only commodity that is actually ours in this crazy world, take some time to think and maybe you will see that we all create our own meaning.
To all my readers who have been sending me philosophical quotations and treatises, thank you – and you can see from this article that they have some minor effect.
And if you’d like to do a little something for Chinchilla’s dog, Hamster, please send thong underwear (cosa bella) to the:
Raising Ugly Dogs for Dead or Incapacitated Hookers and Dancers Fund
1 Call Girl Way, Las Vegas, NV
Namaste.
FREE NFL PICKS:
Filthy (Phi) @ Tony Roma’s (Dal) – Philly +3
Jiggy has a long and sorry history of hanging on to ideas, trends, jeans and old strippers far too long. For some reason, even though the Cowboys are looking great this December, Jiggy expects them to return to form. This is the same team they were last year, only a little worse, look for them to fall apart when the angry Eagles come to town.
Elmo (NE) @ The Beast (andre Johnson) (Hou)– NE +7
Hoodie doesn’t like losing, ever. He claims the game is meaningless – please see above column. I am on the Pats.
SF @ STL – SF -9
Coach Singletary is going to try to prove a point to the media, his players and the owners. He is all about what he preaches. And there is some dude named Null starting for the Lambs.
Wash @ Sun Diego – SD -3.5
The Bolts second string is far better than Washington’s first string.
Many of my fans ask me where I wager. I have a gambling problem so I bet on everything from the ponies to how long (in inches) my excrement is. But I have been a proud customer to superbook.com for some time. They have good lines, great promotions, many betting options and most importantly, I get my money from them on time. They have signed a deal with Wagercom.com. So if you are looking for an online book, try them out. They are Jiggy tested and Jiggy approved.
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