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JIGGY'S FREE NFL FOOTBALL PICKS
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Jiggy's 2005 Football Picks Season Record
Wins: 41 Losses: 35 | Ties: 3
NFL Free Picks Winning Percentage: 54%
Record updated Mondays
Contact Jiggy at jiggy@wagercom.com or post your questions/comments on the Wagercom Message Board
For those of you new to this football betting picks column, our expert NFL football handicapper Jiggy is coming off a money making 2003-20004 and 2004-2005 NFL season.posting a winning record on both his NFL football picks and NFL Lock of the Week against the spread. Each week during the NFL season Jiggy will share his free winning NFL football picks as well as his entertaining take on the current happenings of the NFL.
Superbowl Free NFL Football Pick
The Stupid Bowl…
Do you remember those times, those melancholy times, those ‘end of an era’ times, those lugubrious times? This dear friends (and lesbians), is one of those times. Yet another year of NFL gambling has slipped through our fingers (pardon the pun – see next paragraph).
Not unlike that time in high school that you played ‘twenty minutes in the closet’ with Alexandra Rothlisberger and Dorothy Hasssleback (names have been changed to protect the boring) and you managed to do a little finger banging, but you didn’t ever get the double BJ? And then, before you looked up, the closet door was pried open and the relentless light of day streamed back in. Yes, we made money this year, yes we enjoyed our time, but I always feel this emptiness at the end of the year, and emptiness stemming from the desire to have done more.
The Wishes:
I wish I had loaded up against the Colts when they played the Chargers (yes, we bet it, but did we really mortgage the plantation and bet the farm?)
 I wish we could have been in Florida when our heroes, the TopCats of Carolina, made women wait in line whilst they had sex in a bathroom stall.
I wish I could have been at the MVP Announcement Dinner when they called Shaun Alexander’s name and a few journalist were surprised to see who he was.
 I wish I could have seen the look on the 49ers faces when they realized they weren’t caught in some awful nightmare and they learned that Norv Turner had actually been hired by their organization.
I wish I could have placed an over under wager on the number of wins the eagles would get after they fired TO. Reading the arbitrator’s ruling on the TO situation was a real ‘life affirming’ moment for me. Often we are moved by great art, and I was moved. Thus…
I wish I could have gone fishing with Randy Moss (I would have worn the Randy Moss Mask and every time he brought up anything, I would turn to him and yell, ‘what’s ‘x’ to me?’ For example if he said, ‘hey, my new fishing boat cost $1.3 million.’ I would respond, ‘what’s $1.3 million to me?’ Or if had said that he recently caught three guppies, I would respond ‘what’s three guppies to me?’) 
I wish I could have been snuggling with a buxom Bengal fan when their playoff game with the Steelers began. And I would have bet many oral favors on the Steelers. After that first fateful pass, and the complete annihilation of Palmer’s knee, the pleasure would have begun in earnest. Or if she was too sad to pay up, we could have drowned her sorrows in a couple of rohypnol smoothies. After the ingestion of a few of these beauties, the kinkiest of suggestions is rarely denied.
I wish Herm Edwards had found a job he was good at.
I wish Chad Johnson would have been on dancing with the stars instead of Jerry Rice.
I wish that the Dolphins had figured out the potency of the Ricky Williams/Chris Chambers machine a little earlier in the season.
I wish I looked like Tom Brady.
I wish I had bet the money line on every Bears game this year. Or let me rephrase this, I wish I were suicidal enough to have thought that was a good idea.
I wish I could have bet all the Indy fans the same two bets, one: the colts won’t finish the season undefeated and two: they won’t win the superbowl. Jiggy was sure of these two items long ago and could have profited mightily from them.
I could go on, but I have some serious handicapping to do.
Such a year, such a time.
But I suppose we have one last hurrah, we have the Super Bowl, and this time, it is extra large (because of the numerals, not because it is particularly interesting or gargantuan).
The Match-Ups:
Organizati ons: Seachickens versus the Steel Curtain
The Steelers have a long and storied past whereas the Seahawks don’t. One can make the standard arguments about one team being hungry, while the other team is anxious to regain past glory. In reality, none of this matters. This is like comparing the Ford Motor Company of the 1970s and the one today. Yes, the name is the same, and yes some of the buildings are the same, but almost none of the actual personnel is the same and the competitive landscape is totally different. So not only do I not know whom this favors, it actually doesn’t matter. All of you Steeler fans that are bothered by this, try this little experiment. Dip your terrible towel in chloroform for 20 minutes and then tie it around your steel city head.
 QB: Big Ben vs. Little Matt
If loving the lord is wrong, I don’t want to be right. Jiggy has said this many times, and sometimes, he even meant it. It is often used as a refrain during the drunken times, or during the strip club times (which often coincide with the drunken times). I also believe that if you think you are winning because you are getting laid or not getting laid or because you are wearing women’s underwear, then you are (First Crash Davidson’s 34:22). But when someone brings up the fact that they are playing for an audience of one, I always suspected they were playing for the heart, soul and rectal cavity of Austyn Moore – I guess Matty sees things differently…
 Matt Hasselbeck spent much of his time on the podium talking about God; he said the Seahawks have numerous hard-core Christians on the squad, and that provides a unique sense of unity. "There is scripture that says, 'In your weakness, you see God's strength,'" said the balding quarterback. "A lot of us are united through this. I remember playing with Trent Dilfer, and -- before a big game -- he would say, 'Tonight, let's play for an audience of one.' We always try to remember that."
This is hands down, one hundred percent in the favor of the Steelers. I have been harping on Big Ben since before he played a single down in the NFL, this guy is one of the future greats and will be in the hall of fame. Matt Hassleback is a serviceable qb, and given the right supporting cast, he is good. The advantage in this category falls squarely with the Steelers.
 RB: The Short Bus (Jerome Bettis) and Wee Willie Parker vs. Shaun Alexander
Wow, this one is a little rough. The Steelers have an over the hill fat guy (though with quick feet) paired with an undersized track guy. Sounds like a bad sitcom. (actually, it sounds like a good sitcom – so NBC, if you are reading this, let’s do lunch and talk about this). And the Seachickens have the most unrecognized MVP in any professional sport. I mean, who wouldn’t recognize Mariusz Pudzianowski? No one. I am not saying that Shaun is bad, just that he is less of a household name than the big M and certainly far less likeable. But back to the relative skill levels. Shaun went for 1,880 yards with 27 touchdowns and averaged 5.1 per carry. I don’t care how weak the NFC is and how weak the NFC West is, this is sick. These statistics are Jenna Jameson numbers, these statistics are ‘Mamba Bean Rapist Bryant’ numbers. They are off the chart. Jerome and Willie combined for 1,570 yards, 13 touchdowns and averaged around 4.1 a carry. These are good, but not dazzling numbers. Seattle has a better running game. But one must also consider that Mr. Personality also was injured very early on last game and may and thus must be saddled with some injury concerns. That being said, Seattle is dominant in the running game.
Receivers: Goofy Seahawks vs. Hines Ward and Slash
As receivers only catch the ball, and much of their effectiveness is determined by factors outside of their control, their individual ability is less important than the other skill positions on the field. I mean, when you are a starlet up for the best anal scene at the AVN awards, how much of your performance is really that important. Yes, it matters, but much of the power of the scene is outside of your control. You are just a receiver. Sure, you can scream and make eye contact and curse, but if the stunt dick doesn’t get his job done, you ain’t going to take home the statuette. All that being said, the receivers in Seattle (as a group) have more big play ability and more talent. But individually, Hines Ward is the best receiver in this game. The rather anemic corps of Pittsburgh is not deep, but solid whilst the corps of Seattle has flashes of greatness all the way down the line. I am afraid that this match up can only be called a draw.
Defense: Steel Curtain vs. Rainy Day Women (give me some love here, they need a nickname)
This race looks far closer than it is. The Steelers allow 16.1 points per game and 284 yards while the Seahawks allow 16.9 points and 316 yards per game. The difference in yardage is large, but not eye popping. The takeaway story is roughly similar, the Steelers sffint stat (something I made up that combines sacks, interceptions and forced fumbles in to one number) is 80 while the Seahawks come in at 79. Again, close, but with a slight edge to the Steelers. But here is where it gets galactic. The records of the teams the Steelers faced were 126-130 while the Seahawks faced teams that went 110-146. This is a HUGE difference. The Steelers have put up better numbers against vastly better teams. The Seahawks just haven’t played many games against dominant defenses (however the Panthers are quite good and the Hawks managed to pin 34 on them). The defensive schemes of the Steelers coupled with their personnel leaves them a huge advantage. This could be the most telling different between the teams and it leans heavily in favor of the Steelers.
Tight Ends: Itu Milli and Jaarrrraammmiiey Stevens vs. Heath Miller
Heath Miller is better than Jerrrraaamy. Advantage Steelers.
Kicking Game: Josh Brown vs. Jeff Reed
Who cares? Really, this doesn’t matter. One should also add kick coverage to this big who cares category. I will leave the punting and average starting position after kick off stats to the NFL Network.
Coaches: Mikey Holmgren vc. Billy Cowher
Wow. Who let the inmates run the asylum? These two guys (both nice people I bet) are not in any danger of being mistaken for Nobel Prize Winners. That being said, one cannot argue with their results this year. I think there is a slight edge to Mikey. The Seahawks have less obvious talent and they have a qb that needs ‘special attention’ as such I think Holmgren has done more with less. But Cowher has managed to rid himself of his overly conservative play and actually take some intelligent, calculated risks. I love to bash Cowher but I am impressed with both of these guys this season. This one is a draw.
 The final analysis…
Superbowls have been lopsided covered by the dog when there are large spreads. This trend has been glaringly true of the last 16 years. Especially if you remove the two ass whippings (and I am generally pro ass whipping, so long as it is done in a sexual context) by the Niners. But this spread is small and the apparent differences at QB and in the defenses have pushed Jiggy to take the Steelers and give the points. With an over under of 47, we have to look at the previous games that these two teams have played. We can only assume that the last 18 games or so played by each team is likely indicative of the performance we should expect in the Superbowl. As such, we are inclined to take the under (please see spreadsheet below). When these two teams played this year, they only went over 47 32% of the time. And if we tease Pittsburgh with the under, we get Pitt +2 and under 53. That looks like a great bet to Jiggy.
As I am sure all of you feel the need to wager (as I do) I will go through some of the proposition plays available on Sportingbetusa.com and of course I will give you the lock solid right bets on these most scientific of bets…
Coin Toss: Tails never fails
Team to Win Coin Toss: One must take the Steelers here, they had that terrible mishap a couple of years ago, they will likely work on this during practice.
Team to Receive Opening Kickoff: See above, if the Steelers win, they need the ball.
First score of the game, TD or something else: It will be something else.
Will Either Team Score Three Straight Times: Nope.
Will Either Team Score in the First 6.5 Minutes: Of course. This is a crazy bet.
Will Either Team Score in the Last 2:00 Minutes of the First Half: I think the answer is yes again.
Will There Be a Defensive or Special Teams Touchdown: I am afraid not. Sorry Antwan Randle El.
I could go on, but I might bore myself.
It has been a great season (and another money making season). Please keep the fan mail and questions coming and check in for Jiggy’s off season rants, comments and behind the scenes NFL information.
XXOO
Jig-in-a-tor
Many of my fans ask me where I wager. I have a gambling problem so I bet on everything from the ponies to how long (in inches) my excrement is. But I have been a proud customer to sportingbetusa.com for some time (
Join www.sportingbetusa.com now and receive a generous sign up bonus.
). They have good lines, great promotions, many betting options and most importantly, I get my money from them on time. They have signed a deal with Wagercom.com. So if you are looking for an online book, try them out. They are Jiggy tested and Jiggy approved.
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